


Just Five Days

by Satan_Loves_Yaoi



Series: Just Five Days [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Angst, Boy x boy, Death, Fluff, M/M, Rehab, Smut, Yaoi, ereri, jeanmarco, riren - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2020-07-08 02:01:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 49
Words: 57,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19861687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Satan_Loves_Yaoi/pseuds/Satan_Loves_Yaoi
Summary: "Are you gonna kiss me, or are you just gonna keep standing there, looking like a dunce?" Levi asked, reading my mind.At a boarding school in North Carolina, no punishments are out of the ordinary.  As a punishment for a physical altercation, Levi Ackerman and Eren Jaeger are bound at the wrist for an entire school week.





	1. Prologue: A Fight

"You're fucking dumb, Jaeger." Levi rolled his eyes at me. This was the eighth time within the hour that he'd said some shit like that and I was at the end of my rope. My fingers instinctually curled into fists.

"I have no clue why the staff have me rooming with an asshole like you!" I finally snapped. "I don't care that your sex worker mommy died. She had what was coming to her. That doesn't mean you get to parade around and-"

Levi's fist went straight into my diaphragm. He gripped the hem on my old tee shirt and slammed me into the wall. "Don't you ever say that again, brat." He punched me again, knocking the breath out of my lungs. I gasped for air. He was a great deal shorter than me, but he could have been eight feet tall for how big his rage was. Once I caught my breath, my fist flew to his jaw. He staggered backwards and I took my chance to land a few more blows on my roommate. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the door swing open and slam into the wall.

"Both of you, over here, now." Reagan, a staff I had forgotten was on shift burst into the room. I saw the two guys in the room next to ours huddling behind the behemoth of a man.

"Well, we're screwed," Levi muttered as we shuffled over to the angry mentor.

"This is your fault," I grumbled.

"You two can go, thank you for informing me." Our neighbors scurried off like cockroaches, fear and amusement on their stupid faces. Reagan turned to us. "Look, I can go to the Executive Director right now, if you two wanna be shipped off to Wilderness." He paused, letting his words sink in. "Again," he emphasized, turning to Levi. "Or, I have a punishment for you two and all that goes in shift notes is another argument. You two can choose."

"What's your punishment?" I asked. Levi snorted.

"Wuss. Can't spend the night outdoors, huh?"

"I am trying to give you guys a way out. You know what the higher up's are gonna do if they find out there was a fistfight again. I don't wanna see you two overnighted to the great outdoors."

"Fine," Levi consented, "But only because Winter is on it's way. I don't feel like having frostbite again."

"Good. The punishment is distance from everyone except each other for five days. And this." In one swift movement, Reagan whipped out a pair of handcuffs and bound me to Levi.

"What the hell?" Levi snapped. "Not happening."

"Yeah, I was expecting an essay or something," I complained.

"See? You two already agreed on something. Five days will be over before you know it."

Levi paused. "Wait. Where did you get these handcuffs?"

"Places," Reagan smirked. "My other job."

"Woah, you're a cop?" I asked, incredulous.

"No, I work at Spencer's." Levi's eyes widened.

"Gross! Ugh! I do not wanna know where these have been."

"Nah, I took 'em from work today. Don't get your panties in a twist. I'm not that gross. Now, get ready for bed. Light's out is in," he paused to consult his watch. "Fifteen minutes."

I felt a jerk on my wrist dragging me into my bedroom. I stumbled inside and Levi slammed the door behind us.

"This is bullshit!" Levi spat. "Do you have a paper clip?" I shook my head. "God dammit!" He kicked the bedpost. A thought crossed my mind.

"How are we gonna change our shirts?" I cried.

"That's the least of our concerns right now. How are we gonna shower? Or piss? Or sleep?"

"Yeah, I am not sharing a bed with you." 

"Well, there's no way I can sleep on the top bunk while I'm attached to you, so where do you suggest I sleep?"

"There," I said pointing to the floor next to my bed, smiling smugly.

"I hate you, Eren Jaeger. I truly do."

"Hey, you're the one who got us into this," I remarked.

"No, if you hadn't brought my mother into this, we wouldn't be here." I yanked his arm down and began unlacing my shoes. He yanked on the chain, but I wasn't budging. Satisfaction struck my face when Levi finally gave up with a sigh and an eye roll. I finished untying my shoes and gave Levi control of the chain so that he could unlace his boots. When he finished, we stood in unison and stepped out of our shoes. 

"We should go brush our teeth," I sighed, annoyed at the fact that other people would see us. 

"Yeah. Fuck!" We left the bedroom with our toiletries. 

"What?" I asked as we started down the hallway.

"We have school tomorrow." We reached the bathroom.

"Ugh, you're right."

"Well, look who it is," a voice said in the bathroom. A tall blonde guy walked up to me and Levi. "Handcuffed, huh?"

"Shut it, Morello," Levi growled.

"Sounds kinky," Morello pushed. Levi was already seething.

"I said, shut the fuck up!"

"Levi, chill. We don't want another person on our chain." I gingerly shook the cuffs, trying not to anger Levi any further. He took a deep breath and backed down. 

"You're right. We don't need the actual plague attached to us." He turned to Morello. "This isn't over, Sean. You picked the wrong day to try and fuck with me." Sean snickered and left us to ourselves.

"New rule: no fighting people while I'm attached to you. We're not even supposed to be within ten feet of other people, let alone talking to them."

"We'll see," Levi muttered, reaching for his toothbrush and toothpaste.

"Uh, I need this hand." I wiggled my right hand, rattling the chain.

"Gimme a sec," he said, his words warped by the toothbrush in his mouth. I put the toothpaste on my brush and waited for him to finish brushing his teeth before I started. I began scrubbing my teeth angrily. I was using so much force that I accidentally yanked on Levi's hand, and it brushed my cheek. I flinched.

"What?" Levi asked, looking absolutely unimpressed. "You did that to yourself." I finished brushing my teeth and rinsing my mouth out. We returned to the bedroom and sat on my bed. 

"Hey, light's out guys." Reagan flicked off our lights and closed our door. I laid down on my bed and Levi made himself comfortable on the floor. Sleep came very quickly.

Shaking on my shoulders woke me in the still pitch black bedroom.

"What time is it?" I groaned, rubbing my eyes with my free hand.

"Not important. I'm freezing. You got a blanket?" 

"No, Levi. I don't just have an extra blanket for you. Go back to bed."

"I can't sleep when I'm too cold."

"See if I care," I hedged.

"Oh, you will. If I'm sleep deprived tomorrow, you're gonna wish these handcuffs never existed."

"Well, what do you want me to do?" I complained. Levi was silent. Considering my options for a second only gave me one answer: the unthinkable. "Oh Hell no! We are not sharing a bed."

"That's why I asked you if you had a blanket."

"Nope, go to bed." I rolled over to the best of my ability.

"Whatever, it's your funeral." I thought about that. Five days was a long time to be stuck with an angry Levi for. I figured, if I was nice to him, this week would be more bearable.

"Fine, but stay very far away from me."

"As far as possible on a twin," he agreed. I scooted over as close to the wall as possible and he crawled between the sheets. I tried to act like this was inhibiting me from sleeping, but, much to my annoyance, Levi's added body heat helped knock me right out.


	2. Chapter 1 - Good Morning, Sunshine

I woke up way too close to Levi for comfort. Letting out a disturbed gasp, I scooted as far away from him as the bed would allow. He shivered a little and looked up at me, sleep still heavy in his eyes.

"Oh. Right," he groaned. "I was hoping it was a dream."

"Well, good morning, Sunshine," I muttered sarcastically. We didn't move for a minute, but I could tell we both wanted to.

"How am I gonna shower?" Levi complained. "I already feel so gross." I nodded and fell back into the bed, closing my eyes again. I heard a knock on the door. It creaked open and Sunni, one of the dorm managers entered the bedroom.

"Rise and shine, sleepyheads," she smiled, shaking Levi's arm. He quickly swatted her hand away and looked up.

"Sunni! Oh thank God! Please unlock us!" Levi sprang out of bed, yanking me out with him.

"That's a very clever punishment. Staff shopping is wrong, Levi," Sunni said in a singsong voice. "But Reagan did say that you two can be unhandcuffed for ten minutes to shower and change."

"Ten minutes?! How can I shower in ten minutes?" I cried.

"Yeah, not cool," Levi griped.

"I guess you'll have to figure it out," Sunni gleamed. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small silver key. She unlocked our handcuffs and sent us on our way. "Ten minutes and I'm going in after you."

I bolted into the bathroom as soon as I had collected my soap and change of clothes, closing myself into the first shower stall. I stripped and turned the shower on. I realized a few seconds in that I had forgotten to change the sign outside from "vacant" to "occupied." I silently cursed the lack of locks at this boarding school and continued showering. Of course, the one time I forgot to change the sign was the day the none other than Levi Ackerman walked into my shower stall.

"AAH! Get out!" I shouted. Levi whipped around, startled and we made eye contact for far too long. He stumbled back towards the door, a horrified look on his face.

"Maybe you should witch the sign on your door!" he stuttered before scrambling back out the door. All I could think about was the way his eyes locked onto mine. They were so passionate, like he wanted to fight.

I was rinsing the soap off of my body when a knock came at my door. "It's uh, been ten minutes," Levi said through the door.

"Okay. Let me finish up." I finished showering and drying off before getting dressed and leaving the shower stall. I noticed that somebody had switched the sign to "occupied," so I switched it to "vacant" again. Levi was waiting outside the door to my stall, his hand rubbing the back of his neck.

"Hey," he said, stepping outside of the bathroom with me. His black hair looked even darker wet.

"It's about time," Sunni chided. "You're both blushing, what is it?"

"N-no! We are not blushing!" Levi defended immediately.

"Yeah, we just had really hot showers, so our skin's all red," I backed up. Levi cocked an eyebrow at me as Sunni refastened us to each other.

"Oka-y," Sunni said in a skeptical voice. "Let's go get some breakfast, then."

"Yes! It's chef's breakfast! No stale cereal today!" I exclaimed.

"Mm-hmm," Levi agreed unenthusiastically, nodding st me as we walked down the hallway.

"Aren't you excited?" I asked, looking down at the top of his head.

"Sure, but your nauseating enthusiasm is not acceptable until at least 11:00."

"Sorry," I muttered, not wanting to start another argument. We reached the cafeteria and went through the line. Our dorm's table was almost full, but we found an empty spot towards the end of the bench. Some students snickered at our handcuffs and others just stared. Levi scowled back at them, and if looks could kill, they'd all be six feet under.

"What?" Levi growled at the people still looking.

"Hey Hawthorn Dorm, listen up," Sunni said, addressing all of us. Every head towards her before she spoke again. "Levi and Eren are on an intervention. They are not allowed to interact with anyone other than each other. Please don't talk to either of them and be sure to hold them accountable if they try to talk to you. They can talk to staff for Health and Safety, but nothing else. Understood?"

Nods of affirmation answered Sunni and Levi rolled his eyes, looking down at his plate. He poked at his scrambled eggs with his fork, but didn't eat. I didn't look at him again until my plate was clear. He hadn't touched anything.

"Eat something. Breakfast is almost over." 

He shrugged. "Not hungry," he replied simply. I rolled my eyes at him. "You wanna say something, brat?"

Just as I was about to answer, something caught my eye. Levi's and my counselor, Trevor, flicked his index finger out, pointing at us and curled it in a couple of times, motioning for us to come. I stood quickly, yanking on the handcuffs. Levi slowly stood and cleared his plate into the garbage. We loaded our dishes into the bus bin and approached our therapist.

"Mornin' guys!" Trevor said cheerfully. "Why don't you two walk with me?" He nodded at our staff, letting her know that he was taking us before leading us outside. The cool, humid air of the Appalachian foothills felt good on my warm skin. Levi crossed his arms, dragging my right arm to his chest. I didn't fight back.

"What do you want, Trevor?" Levi snorted.

"That wasn't polite, Levi. Wanna try rephrasing that?" Trevor asked, his blue eyes twinkling.

"Nah, I'm good." Levi unfolded his arms and I shook my hand, promoting circulation to come back to my fingertips.

"I like this," Trevor said, motioning to our handcuffs. "So I've decided to modify the intervention a bit."

"What are you modifying?" I asked. There was no way this would end well now that Trevor was involved. Levi's short fuse was lit.

"I don't think that five days is enough. You two have some serious RR to do."

"What the hell is RR?" Levi scoffed.

"Relationship Restitution."

"So, how long 'till this torture is over, then?" Levi gestured at his cuffed wrist.

"We'll see." 

"Argh! We'll see?! Are you fucking serious, Trevor?" Levi shouted. "You're so goddamn vague all the fucking time!"

"Keep your tone respectful, Levi. Would you like to tell us what you're feeling?" Levi took a deep breath, trying to calm down, and shook his head. "Levi. Please cooperate and tell us how you're feeling."

"I'm pissed off," Levi spat. "There, happy?"

"What are you," Trevor put air quotes around his next word, "pissed about?"

"This fucking bullshit intervention, fucking Jaeger, and you!" Levi was shaking, anger radiating off of him. I thought he was about to kill Trevor.

"Hey," I whispered, trying to calm him down. "Don't do something you'll regret. Try redirecting your anger. It might impress Trevor." Levi quickly glared up at me and brought his eyes back to Trevor's. I suddenly felt an intense pressure on my right wrist. I winced, but didn't pull away. I didn't want either of us to get sent to Wilderness. Trevor's eyes quickly darted to my wrist.

"Levi, please let go of Eren's wrist. His fingers are purple." I looked down at my hand and, sure enough, my fingertips were already a deep violet. Levi gasped quietly and released my wrist. I sucked in a sharp breath of air through my teeth, unaware of how tightly I'd been clenching them. "Do you have a belief for why you are angry at these things?"

"'Cuz they just piss me off. I don't want to be handcuffed to fucking Jaeger forever."

"Not forever, just indefinitely," I remarked. Levi shot me an ice cold glare.

"And what's your choice for the future?" Trevor asked condescendingly, ignoring the ice in Levi's cold grey eyes.

"Try and find a paperclip so I can get outta this shit." Trevor nodded.

"Thank you, Levi." Levi rolled his eyes again.

"So, what do we have to do to get out of these?" I asked, starting to get angry myself.

"Prove to me that you two have become friends and can get along without acting. You two are more similar than you think. That's why you're roommates; it wasn't just luck of the draw."

"What?!" Levi yelled. "I am nothing like that prissy, spoiled little brat!"

"Um, I'm right here," I said, clenching my fists. "Human decency is still a thing, you know. And I wouldn't be calling anyone little if I were you. You're, like 5'3.""

"Calm down, both of you. Show me that you two can get along and then we'll talk about uncuffing you, You can go back to your Dorm table once you've both calmed down." Trevor turned and walked back towards the cafeteria.

"That man," I muttered once he was inside.

"You're telling me. What a prick!" Levi kicked a rock with his black, steel-toed combat boots.

"What are we gonna do?" I fumed. "We can't just show him we're getting along. He's so vague! What are we supposed to do, hug each other and say we're sorry?" A lightbulb seemed to go off behind Levi's eyes.

"I have an idea. Just follow my lead."


	3. Chapter 2: "Just go with it"

Levi led us back into the noisy mess hall. We closed the door behind us and Levi elbowed me hard in the ribcage.

"What was that fo-" He grabbed the collar of my shirt and backed me up against a wall. He winked at me when he had caught Trevor's attention.

"Just go with it," he whispered.

"Just go with what?" I asked, and was immediately answered by Levi's hands pulling down on my neck. I obliged him by bending down until I was at his eye level. In one fluid moment, Levi's lips met mine and he pushed me back into the wall, more forcefully than he had ever done when we were fighting. His previous words replayed in my head and I found myself kissing him back. I noticed a surprising amount of chemistry between us, probably because we were constantly trying to kill each other. Hatred is a form of passion. I could hear every conversation snap closed and feel every set of eyes bore into us. My hands lowered onto his hips and he moved one of his legs between mine. Everybody was frozen in shock as I let out a quiet gasp. Levi pulled back, his expression unreadable, looking first at me and then at Trevor, who had an unfazed look on his face. 

"How's that for getting along, Trevor? Did that show you?" Levi asked vindictively. Trevor shook his head. "Cuz I'm pretty sure that showed everybody else." Levi turned back to me and licked his lips. "Not bad, Jaeger." I turned bright pink.

"Intervention still stands," Trevor called over to us, a stupid grin on his face.

"God damn it! I totally thought that would work. Or at least get us put on distance." Levi stormed back to our Dorm table. We sat down, and all that anyone did was stare. The other students, especially Sean, were looking at us with their jaws on the floor.

"That was quite the display," Sunni said, cheerfully. Levi rolled his eyes. I was visibly shaken, unsure what to do with myself. I was dealing with the fact that I might have liked it.

"I need some air," I murmured under my breath. I didn't think anybody heard me, but Levi turned around and looked at me, a worried gleam in his grey eyes. 

"We're gonna take some space outside and regulate," Levi said to Sunni. I bolted for the door.

"Space is five minutes!" She called after us as I ran outside. I plopped down on the porch steps.

"What is it?" Levi asked. There was an odd emotion on his face. It looked unnatural, different from his usual scowl.

"I don't know. It was just really hot and crowded in there." The rain had started coming down hard. Lightning flashed and thunder came right after. 

"Whatever." He snapped back to his normal glare. He looked down. I took a deep breath. We sat in silence until my eyes caught something on his arm. I grabbed his wrist and rolled up his sleeve, revealing thin, raised white scars decorating his ivory wrist. He yanked his arm away and pulled his sleeve back down. "Tch. Before you freak out, those are old. I've heard all the speeches and shit, so don't fucking say a word."

I blinked. "Hey. I won't say anything, but if you want to, feel free."

"I fucking hate it when people say they're sorry or act like they get it! I was in a really dark place when that happened. I tried to die a couple of times. I don't ever talk about this shit, so I have no clue why I said anything. Forget this ever happened, brat." 

"Forget what?" I asked sarcastically. Levi rolled his eyes. I couldn't help the empathetic look on my face. 

"Get that stupid look off your face. You look like everybody else, and I don't wanna see everybody else. I wanna see- ya know what, never mind, shut up, fucking Jaeger." Levi was bristling, obviously uncomfortable with his sudden vulnerability.

"But I didn't say anything." 

"That's not important. Now, shut the hell up." Levi's cheeks were a light pink. We sat in silence after that, looking at the rain tumbling down, making the ground muddy. After a while, Levi stood. I shivered. "Let's get inside." I stood up and walked with Levi back inside. We sat back on the end bench of our dorm table.

I felt sick, like something was fluttering around in the pit of my stomach. I started to see double, so I closed my eyes, planting my head on the table.

"Don't be such a baby. All I did was kiss you," Levi whispered brusquely. I squeezed my eyes shut, deciding that I had not, in fact, liked the kiss. I was not gay. Fuck all that. I tried to picture girls I had been with, but I couldn't get Levi's face out of my head. I couldn't get the smell of his shampoo to leave me, or the way his hands roamed my body during our kiss. He was driving me insane, and I couldn't just move on. I was stuck and I hated it. I hated him. I hated Levi Ackerman with my entire being.

"One two three, eyes on me!" A staff from another dorm called, standing from his dorm table and raising his hand. 

"One two eyes on you," everybody mumbled back.

"There was a fallen tree a little ways north, blocking our school off from all vehicles. The teachers won't be in today." Sighs of relief echoed in through the mess hall. "Instead, we'll all be deep cleaning our dorms." The sighs of relief turned into reluctant groans at the blink of an eye. "That's all."

"Yes!" Levi whisper-shouted. "Our dorm is disgusting. I've wanted it clean for so long!" I looked up at him, not speaking. Shooting me a glare and looking away, a part of me knew that he would be the death of me.


	4. Chapter 3: What is this?

"Okay, guys, rooms 1, 2, and 3 are gonna clean the lounge and kitchen. Rooms 4 and 6 have the bathrooms. Room 5 has the hallways and trash. Each bedroom is responsible for deep cleaning their own bedroom as well as their common area chores." I nodded absently, rubbing the back of my neck anxiously as Levi stood and grabbed the roll of trash bags, dragging me with him.

"How come room 5 gets the easy chores?" Sean complained, glaring at me and Levi. "Shoudn't they be punished for this morning? Is everybody just finna pretend that ain't happen? They fuckin' nasty, stickin' they tongues in each other's mouth!" Levi almost hauled off and punched him, but I grabbed his wrist and pulled him back. Our bodies briefly collided, and I flinched away from him, balling my hands into fists. I felt like I was going to pass out. I let out a gasp that I didn't realize I had been holding. My head felt fuzzy and Levi's proximity wasn't helping. I was a wreck, and it was all his fault.

"There are only two people in room 5, and they aren't allowed to talk to anybody else, so it would be silly to put them in a group, don't you think?"

"Whatever," Sean said, running a hand through his short, bleached dreadlocks and taking off with his room towards the kitchen. Levi quickly emptied all the trash cans and replaced the bags before moving on to clean the hallway. He left no surface unscrubbed, no glass un-windexed. He did everything so quickly and thoroughly that I couldn't do anything but stand and hold the cleaning supplies. Before I knew it, the hallway was spotless. We moved to the bedroom and he did the same thing in there. We were entirely finished and checked off in less than ten minutes, wars still raging in my mind about what had happened after breakfast.

"I love cleaning," Levi sighed after the chemicals had been turned in and we passed the inspection. I nodded as we entered our room again. "Dude, you haven't said a word the whole morning. Lunch is soon. You're usually blathering on about something. You good?"

"How can you ask that?" I looked down at Levi, mixed emotions battling in my mind. I couldn't get over how much I hated him.

"Hey, if I knew you would freak out this bad, I wouldn't," he paused, considering his next words. "Nah, I still would have. It was worth a shot."

"I am not freaking out!" I defended. I knew if I said more, I would fall apart.

"Really? Cuz it sure looks like you are."

"Yes, really."

"Then why haven't you so much as breathed a word since I kissed you?! Why did it look like you were gonna pass out?! Huh? You got an answer for that, fucking Jaeger?" No trace of logic was anywhere in my brain. It was like all centers for thought flicked off. Only emotion was left. Pure, raw emotion. I slapped Levi across the face, and before he could protest, I brought his mouth up to mine. He pushed me back. "What the fuck, Jaeger?!" I blinked, confused at my own actions. Levi's face softened. "You liked it, didn't you?" he murmured. He reached up and gingerly touched the light pink handprint on his face. I stood there, frozen and mortified. I couldn't believe what I had done.

"I'm sorry," I said, somehow almost to tears. My face was hot from the blush burning it into it. I couldn't meet his eyes, so I looked down at Levi's feet. The next thing I knew, Levi's lips were on mine again, his hand gripping my jaw. Alarms were sounding in my mind, but I chose to ignore all of them. Kissing me with an indescribable, hateful lust, he aggressively bit my bottom lip, tugging it between his teeth and hooking one of his fingers into the belt loop of my pants. Digging his knuckle into the space between my hips, he backed me into the wall. I gasped, and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue in my mouth, releasing my lip from his teeth. His tongue explored my mouth, looking for sweet spots. He ran his tongue lightly across the roof of my mouth and I couldn't hold back the quiet moan that I let out into his mouth.   
Pulling back and breathing heavily, Levi eyed me, his eyes pure gunmetal. He sighed. "What the fuck is wrong with us?"

"I have no idea. What should we do?"

"I dunno, but a little more of this couldn't hurt." Levi pushed me onto the bed forcefully. I sat, waiting for him to do something. Either to kiss me or stab me, I wasn't sure. He took my face in his hands and tilted my head up towards his. His mouth met mine again, and I swear there was a zap of electricity. I heard the rain coming down outside. Levi climbed onto my lap, not breaking the kiss. His weight on my lap felt so good it hurt. His tongue lightly brushed my bottom lip. I parted my lips to let it inside. I reached for his hips, pulling his body closer to mine. He reached his cuffed hand down and squeezed the top of my thigh. I moaned softly into his mouth. "You're fucking hot, Jaeger," Levi hissed. His hot breath was warming my ear. He kissed me again. His hips ground down onto mine and another moan escaped my lips. He wrapped his legs around my hips, pulling me closer to him. He brought his mouth down to my neck, lightly biting it. That did it.

"Levi," I breathed. "Do not do that."

"Don't go getting all hot and bothered. We still have lunch," Levi pointed out.

"Then stop biting me," I complained. He bit down on my neck again; my eyelids fluttered as he started squeezing up my thigh, getting closer and closer to the growing bulge in my pants.

"I do what I want, Jaeger."He gripped my hair and yanked my head back. He bit me one last time, sucking on the skin he had between his teeth. I was sure there would be a mark there later.

"Levi, I-"

"I know, I know. Just let me stay here for a minute." He took his mouth away from my neck and buried his face into my chest. His free arm wrapped behind my neck. His fingers traced the back of my neck ever so lightly.

"There is so much wrong with this," I seethed, trying to calm down my mind.

"You think don't I know that? I hate you, Jaeger." I nodded. My heart was pounding at how close we were. We were completely still for a few minutes. I wrapped my free arm around him. I felt him lightly playing with the hem of my shirt. I rested my cuffed hand on his thigh, lightly rubbing my thumb in circles. He shivered. "We have lunch," Levi sighed.

"This is for earlier." I reached my hand further up on his thigh and rubbed my thumb in circles again, pressing vastly harder than I had been. Levi groaned. "Too bad we can't go to lunch."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lowkey this is based on a boarding school I went to lmao


	5. Chapter 4: Uhhhhh (SMUT WARNING)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contains graphic sexual content... If your age is on the fucking clock, skip this chapter.

"Why- why not?" He gasped when I dug my thumb into his thigh. I realized I had never heard him stutter before.

"I think I'm getting sick," I winked at Levi, who was visibly distracted staring down intently, trying to avoid my eyes. "I don't think it's a good idea for me to be around everyone else. It could be contagious."

Levi looked back up at me and strained a smirk, revealing his glittering canines. "Look sick, Jaeger," he whispered. "Hey, Sunni!" he called. I laid down and Levi quickly climbed off of my lap. Sunni opened the bedroom door as I pulled the blanket up, hiding the situation in my pants.

"Did you need something, Levi?" Sunni asked, smiling at him warmly.

"Yeah, Jaeger's being a baby. He won't move, cuz he's sick. I don't think I can get him to go to lunch."

"Does he have a temperature?" Sunni asked.

"How should I know? I'm not gonna touch him."

"You did this morning," Sunni stated bluntly. Levi turned pink and rolled his eyes. "I'll come check. Eren, are you awake?"

"Mmm," I mumbled.

"I'm gonna come feel your forehead, okay?" I immediately felt one of Levi's hands reach down and massage my inner thigh, working his way up the inseam of my pants. It took everything in me to keep a straight face. Sunni walked over to us and Levi quickly removed his hand. "You're all red," Sunni said, feeling my forehead, "and very warm." I realized what Levi had done, massaging my thigh so that I would be hot. "Yeah, you can stay here for lunch. Make sure you both eat enough dinner, though."

"Mmm," I affirmed as Sunni left the bedroom, closing the door behind her. "You're a genius, Levi." I sat up, swinging my legs back over the side of the bed.

"I know." He climbed back onto my lap, straddling my thighs. Kissing me urgently, lust and hatred fighting for dominance in the movement of his lips against mine. He gripped my jaw and slid his tongue back into my mouth. He rolled his hips into mine, grinding down on me as he pushed me back and pinned me to the bed. His mouth left mine and his nimble fingers began unbuttoning my shirt. He undid about half the buttons before just yanking the rest of them out of the holes. He pushed me back onto the bed and cleared my shirt to either side of my bare chest. He kissed me again, but this time I fought him for dominance. He surrendered and I slipped my tongue into his mouth, leaning up into the kiss. I slid my tongue along every surface in his mouth as he dropped his hips onto mine, forcing as much weight as possible onto my crotch. We both let out a gasp as a result.

"Levi," I gasped when he rubbed his growing erection against mine. He kissed my neck, just below my jaw. I instinctively pushed my hips up into his, begging for more friction, and his arms almost gave out entirely.

"Fuck, Jaeger," he breathed, dropping to his elbows. He reached his hand up and lightly pinched one of my nipples. I squirmed beneath him as he kissed along my collarbone. "Jesus Christ, I'm never this easy," he panted against my neck. "I wanna fuck you so bad." I couldn't keep my moans back anymore, as he tore my head apart. I didn't know what to think, so I didn't think at all. He kept pinching and twisting the firm bud as he brought his mouth down on the other. My stomach dropped and our hips slammed together again. I sucked in a sharp breath. "E-eren." He caught his breath. "If we don't stop soon, we aren't going to." I nodded and grabbed his hips, pushing them back down onto my crotch. I could feel him rutting against me, just as desperate as I was.

"Fuck me, Levi. Ruin me," I breathed. We both gasped at my words. His eyes widened and he sat up all the way, scooting back, so that he was sitting right on my painful boner. "Ah!" I hissed, resisting the urge to slam my hips up as he reached down, gently palming my dick through my pants.

"You should know I always top."

"Good," I gasped as he sped up his hand. His eyes widened at my words, but he didn't falter. His hands were shaking as he unzipped my pants. Levi didn't seem like the type to freeze up, but he was clearly shaken about something that was happening. He lifted himself off of me and pulled my pants and underwear off. I kicked them away from around my ankles and looked up at Levi's face. His pupils were blown wide, making his irises look like black discs. He brought his mouth up to mine and while we were kissing, I could feel his foot trying to spread my legs apart. I obliged him and he pulled away from me to unzip his own pants. He kicked them off and my eyes locked onto the huge tent in his briefs. A gasp slipped out of my mouth at the thought of that inside of me. "How the fuck is that gonna fit?"

"Have you done this before?" Levi asked. I shook my head, not only being a virgin, but also not typically into guys. "Okay, so this is gonna hurt for a minute. You'll get over it. God, I wish we had lube, or a condom or something. It's fine, you'll be okay. Ready?" I nodded, biting my lip. "Lemme know if it hurts too much, and I'll stopp." He sucked his index and middle fingers into his mouth, completely covering them in saliva. The next thing I felt was his finger penetrating me. I winced once he got in to his knuckle. "Are you still okay?" I gulped and quickly nodded. His finger pushed in and out until it didn't hurt anymore. Then he pushed the second finger inside of me, scissoring them apart inside of me before adding a third finger. I whimpered at the odd, slightly painful sensation going on.

"It hurts," I gasped, clenching my muscles around Levi's wet fingers.

"Do you want me to stop?" Levi asked. I shook my head.

"No. I just- it's weird," I trailed off.

"Oh, okay. Just give me a second. Don't touch yourself, I wanna do that part," he said, eyeing my throbbing cock. His voice was a low raspy sound, and all I could think about was how badly I wanted his hands on me. His fingers probed my insides, spreading and stretching me out for what was really coming. I grunted at the movement inside me. His fingers started searching for something. I cried out in pleasure when they found what they were looking for. 

"L-Levi! Right there!" I cried, clutching his shoulder with my free hand, and rocking my hips on his fingers, needing to feel that again.

"Okay. Are you ready?" Levi asked, pulling his fingers out and staring at me with his stormy, lusting eyes.

"Levi." I exhaled, "Please." I felt an acute need for him to be inside of me that instant, feeling empty after he took his fingers out. I reached up and grabbed the waistband of his tight black briefs, pushing my knuckles into the space between his sharp hip bones. He bit his lip, muffling whatever sound would have come out of his mouth, but even the strangled noise was the sexiest sound I'd ever heard.

"You're- y- Jaeger, you're making it so fucking hard." I pulled his underwear off and we pushed them off of the bed in a forgotten pile on the floor. "I wish I could get this shirt off."

"Please, Levi. I need you right now," I begged. He nodded and gripped my ass, positioning his rock hard cock right outside my entrance. He brushed the tip ever so lightly against the entrance. I quivered, and whimpered when he did it again. He slowly pushed the tip inside of me, eliciting a yelp from me. He spat on his hand, wetting the rest of his member. He pushed in further and I could feel tears pricking my eyes.

"Are you okay?" Levi whispered, pulling out of me. I gripped his wrist and stared hard into his eyes.

"What are you doing? Don't pull out. Don't put it in slowly. Go all at once."

"Don't have to tell me twice," Levi purred, repositioning himself and quickly pushing into me. I cried out, the stretching feeling suddenly incredibly painful. He didn't move a muscle, letting me adjust. Levi had his head tipped back, panting, his eyes barely open. "Fuckin', Jaeger. You're so tight," Levi gasped. "Fuck, you really are a virgin. That's nice." His fingers weren't even close to the actual thing. I gasped as my muscles tried to figure out what to do with themselves. Levi met our mouths in an aggressive kiss, holding still for me like a complete gentleman. He reached down, gripping my dick, and started slowly pumping it. The pleasure from his hand provided a distraction from the pain I was in, as I arched my back, thrusting my hips into his. Levi gasped, and I could feel his cock twitch inside of me. My muscles finally adjusted so that it didn't hurt as bad anymore to have him inside of me. 

"Can I start?" Levi asked hungrily. I nodded, and Levi started pushing in and out slowly. "Jesus, you feel amazing." He quickened the pace of his hands on me, causing more pressure to build inside of me, pushing me closer to my climax. I almost screamed when he found the sweet spot again. "Found it," he breathed against my neck. He quickened the pace of his thrusts, hitting my prostate every time. I was getting close, sweat coating my hairline as precum leaked out of my throbbing cock. He kept slamming into me and jacking me off. He leaned over me and bit my neck, sucking my skin into his mouth, trying his hardest to leave a hickey. I gasped and gritted my teeth and my eyes nearly rolled back into my head. 

"L-levi! I'm gonna-" I could feel the pressure building, begging for release.

"Me too," he moaned. "Eren! Fuck. God, Eren!" he growled. He repeated my name over and over, like a prayer. "Eren!" I could feel Levi's hot seed fill me up, causing mine to spurt out, soaking my chest and Levi's shirt. He collapsed onto me, both of us panting. I lightly petted his sweaty hair and he pulled himself out of me, falling softly back onto my chest. "Fucking Jaeger," he muttered into my chest as we laid with each other, waiting for the electric currents in our bloodstream to stop. Little did we know, that would never fully go away.


	6. Chapter 5: One Time Thing

We laid there together for a minute before getting dressed again. We were silent as we processed what had just happened, what we had just done. 

"God damn it!" Levi muttered suddenly. "That stain's not coming out." I blushed a dark crimson and looked away when I thought about the cause of that stain. Levi stood up, dragging me up with him. "You got a knife?"

"Why would I have a knife, Levi?" I asked, zipping up my trousers and buttoning my shirt.

"Why not? Could come in handy," Levi offered, pausing briefly before gesturing to his black shirt with the odd white stain. "Well I gotta cut this shirt off, cuz I am not walking around like this. I'd rather not wear a shirt at all."

"Well, I'd rather you not wear a shirt, too," I flirted, winking at him.

"Lemme make one thing clear: what just happened? That was a one time thing that didn't mean anything. It was just a release of pent up frustration and shit, okay? No feelings were involved." Those words hit me hard. It wasn't that I was expecting something, I hadn't even thought that far, but it still stung for some reason. Levi's eyes were expressionless as I took in his words. Had my taking my virginity meant nothing to him? Was I really just a sexual punching bag? I shook my head, frustrated and hurt, but wondering how I could have expected anything more than that from him.

Levi started for the door, pulling my wrist with him. He looked into the hallway, making sure that nobody was around before darting towards the 'sharps' drawer where all sharp objects were kept. We rounded the corner to the room with the sharps and walked straight into my best friend, Armin. He stumbled backwards and his jaw dropped.

"Hey, Armin," I said, trying to make things less awkward. "What's up?" He only blinked, his eyes darting to Levis' shirt and then to something on mine. I looked down and saw that it was incorrectly buttoned, leaving a ripple where I had put the wrong button into the eye. Levi scoffed when Armin put two and two together.

"What are you looking at, brat?" Levi spat. Armin blinked, speechless.

"I'm not supposed to talk to you guys," Armin finally whispered. "And Sunni said you guys were sick."

"You think we care?" Levi asked. "Cuz you found the wrong people if you're looking for someone who gives a shit right about now."

"Were you guys just," Armin stuttered, "You know?" He turned pink, and I felt for him under Levi's scrutinizing stare.

"And why would that concern you?" Levi scowled.

"Because he's my friend," I cut in. "And he should know if his best friend was taken advantage of by the guy he's stuck with indefinitely. Friends care about that kind of thing. You wouldn't know." I was sick of Levi acting like he ran the whole world. "It certainly doesn't seem like many people would be tripping over themselves trying to be your friend."

"Uh-" Levi sounded like he was choking on something and I smirked darkly at him, crossing my arms.

"'Specially not me," I hissed malevolently. Two could play at this game.

Armin's eyes got even bigger, if possible. "I'm gonna go. It sounds like you two need to talk about something." He scurried off without another word, and I couldn't blame him. I would have too.

Levi fished through the drawer and finally pulled out a pair of safety scissors, quickly cutting the shirt off of him and pulling his arm out. I was silent, still stuck on his previous words. He balled up the shirt and held it under his white arms. Out of the corner of my eye, I took in his body, being careful not to let him catch me staring. 

We returned to the room and Levi shoved the shirt into the trashcan, piling some trash on top of it. The tension was tangible between us. I looked down. 

"You weren't expecting some kind of commitment, were you?" Levi asked scornfully. I remained silent. "Ugh, God! You're such a little bitch, Jaeger. Can you seriously not handle non committal sex?"

"Not when it's my virginity!" I whisper-yelled, turning a shade of pink. "And don't call me a bitch, Bitch!"

"Sor-ry. I guess I overestimated you." Levi scoffed. "You're such a brat."

"I could say the same about you, Ackerman. You are absolutely despicable."

"Hate to disappoint. You'd get along great with my uncle." Levi smiled a cynical grin. I couldn't say anything else. I stood there, attached at the wrist to somebody I couldn't stand. The hatred was mutual and the tension was visible radiating off of both of us. I prayed to be struck by lightning and killed.


	7. Chapter 6 - Phone Call Night

A knock on the bedroom door broke the malevolent silence between us. I simply stared at the wall burning holes into it with my glare. I had no clue how long it had been. I wanted to cry, but not in front of Levi.

"What?" I croaked out. My throat was dryer than I thought. I almost choked on my words. The door opened up and the night staff, Reagan entered. He blinked, his eyes darting to the lack of shirt covering Levi's bare chest.

"Uh, what?" Reagan asked, pointing to Levi with his pinkie finger and raising his eyebrow.

"Jaeger's been sick since this morning. He coughed on me, so I got rid of the shirt. I'm not about to get his mangy diseases. That shit's nasty."

"Hey! Language, Ackerman. And I'll unlock you for a sec. Go put a shirt on, Levi." Reagan unlocked the handcuffs on Levi's side and I rotated my wrist while Levi grabbed a shirt and slid it on over his head. I felt tears sting my eyes, so I scrunched my eyelids closed, pushing them back inside. I couldn't feel hate anymore, so my mind began to let another emotion seep through. I wasn't mad. I hadn't been expecting anything to begin with. I wasn't disappointed. I didn't know how to feel, but the foreign emotion reared its ugly head. I bit my lip to keep it from quivering as Levi and I were reattached. I widened my eyes at Levi, taking him in completely. Despite my anger, I was able to recognize how gorgeous he was. "It's dinnertime. After dinner, we'll do phone calls. Let's go, guys."

We stood up silently and followed the staff member out of the room. He gathered up the other students and led us to the mess hall. Sean and his roommate, Jean, sat next to each other and cracked jokes about the handcuffs. Armin occupied himself with a thick book. The other students just stared, like usual. Even students in other dorms were looking over at us.

"As if he doesn't know enough words already," Levi scoffed, pointing at Armin with his thumb.

"Shut up," I choked. Realizing I was probably going to start crying, if I kept talking, I left it at that.

"Excuse me?" Levi growled under his breath, ice once again in his cold, grey eyes. I couldn't talk, so I simply shook my head. "You wanna say something, Jaeger?" I blinked at him. He rolled his eyes and we resumed eating our dinners. The food was harder to stomach than usual. I couldn't even finish Minimums, the minimum required portion we had to eat before we left the table. I looked over and Levi had barely touched his food as well.

"Are you guys finished? Do you wanna go first for phone calls?" Reagan asked us. Levi and I shrugged in unison. "Alright, let's get you two started, then."

"Fine," Levi grumbled. The three of us stood to clear our plates, dumping the wasted food into the trash and the dishes into the bus bin.

"Okay, Hawthorn. I'll be right back. Try not to kill each other." Reagan stood, leading us to an office. "This should be private enough. You know the rules: the calls have to be at least five minutes, and to your parents or guardians, blah blah, if the call becomes unhealthy, hang up. I have to say this every time, but I trust you two know the drill. I'm gonna go back to the others. Try to come back alive, both of you. That means don't stab him, Levi. And, Levi, take care of yourself."

"Tch. Whatever. You can go now," Levi said. His eyes tore holes in Reagan, who turned and left the room. "You can go first," Levi sighed, an anxious look in his cold grey eyes.

"'Kay," I exhaled, picking the phone up off the rocker and dialing my mom's number into the landline. It rang for a moment before she picked up.

"Hey, Mom," I said happily, though it was mostly a facade.

"Hi, Eren. How are you doing?" She sounded busy, like the call wouldn't last very long.

"I'm okay, how about you?"

"I'm good. Why only okay on your end?" I froze. Levi rolled his eyes. "Hello?"

"I'm here. I dunno, it just was an okay day, I guess. No reason in particular." Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Levi mouthing 'pussy.'

We continued our conversation and almost out of nowhere, my mother said, "Trevor told me about your intervention. How's that going?"

I froze again. "Uh," I said, drawing it out to fill the silence. "We don't really get along, so it kinda sucks, actually. He's kind of a jackass." Levi sounded like something was stuck in his throat. I turned pink, fully aware of the awkward situation. I hadn't been lying, and a part of me thought that Levi realized that.

"That's too bad, honey. I hope it doesn't last for too much longer." Levi propped his legs up on the desk, crossing them and tipping back in his chair.

"Well, it's at least five days."

"Bummer. But who knows? Maybe you'll end up becoming friends. I met your father in high school and we couldn't stand each other, but you know how that story must have ended."

"Ew. Mom." I planted my face into my palm. I could feel the weight of what I wasn't telling her pushing onto my shoulders.

"Just saying, Eren. Anything's possible. It's 2018. Some guy married his own hand! The sky's the limit."

"Mom."

"Just try to get along with him. You could be passing up on the love of your life and you'd have no idea."

"I'm straight, Mom."

That got Levi. He silently snickered. "Right," he whispered. I elbowed him hard in the abdomen. He groaned and doubled over, not elbowing me back.

"Shut the fuck up, Levi," I whispered back, covering the microphone on the phone.

"You never know," my mother said. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm gonna go. Levi needs a turn with the phone."

"Okay sweetie, that's fine. I'm running errands, so I should go, too. I love you."

"You too. Bye."

"Bye, Eren." I hung up the phone and slid the device over to Levi.

"'I'm straight.' Good one! That's fucking rich, Jaeger." He punched me in the stomach.

"Ah!" I gasped in pain.

"That's for earlier. Didn't wanna interrupt your convo with Mommy." Levi then proceeded to dial a number into the rocker on the landline. It rang for quite a while before somebody picked up. The voice was muffled, but it was obviously a man's voice. "Kenny," Levi muttered in greeting. I couldn't make out the words, but there was obvious malice in the voice on the other line. "Yeah, Trevor's being a bitch. I'm handcuffed with that fucking brat for the rest of my fucking life."

"Language, Levi! You're so disrespectful. This is why nobody likes you!" I heard Kenny raise his voice sternly. My eyes widened as Levi didn't skip a beat in responding.

"Yeah, maybe I get it from you." Levi smirked, sarcasm soaking his words. "We're two peas in a fucking pod. We must be related or something."

"I pity the guy that's handcuffed to you, Levi. God, you should never have been born! Maybe you wouldn't have killed my sister, huh?" My jaw hit the desk. Again, Levi responded instantly, leaving me wondering how he thought so quickly on the spot. I wanted to throw hands with Kenny. Really, I wanted to fight both of them, but at the moment, I was willing to pick Levi's side in the matter. I figured that this Kenny person was probably related to Levi's mother. I didn't know why I cared so much, but I instantly developed a vehement hatred for Kenny, whoever he was.

"You're right. It'd be more convenient for both of us that way. Jaeger, too." He paused. "But unfortunately that's not the case. You're fucking stuck with me. Trust me, I've tried several times to end it all, but if they catch you, they try to save you. You fuckin' tried to save me most times."

"Then do a better job, Levi, and maybe I won't get there in time to save you," Kenny hissed. I couldn't listen to this for much longer. I tapped Levi's shoulder and mouthed, 'Just hang up.' He shook his head and spoke again.

"Ya know, Kenny, maybe I will. I'll make you fucking proud." I couldn't take it anymore, tears were in my eyes. I pressed on the button where the phone gets set to hang up. I heard the dial tone and took my hand away. Levi whipped his head around. "What the fuck, Jaeger?!" He grabbed my wrist. I was speechless. "You wanna tell me why the hell you just did that?" I remained silent. "Hello?!" He was shaking my shoulders, but in all honesty, I wasn't sure why I had done that either. I couldn't say a word.

"Who was that?" I asked when I could think in a straight line again. "Was that your uncle?"

"The fuck kind of question is that?" Levi shouted. "If I wanted to tell you my life story, I would have already. Just answer my goddamn question. Why the fuck did you hang up the phone?"

"I – I really don't know. Levi, please, calm down." He hadn't let go of my wrist, and he tightened his grip on it at my request.

"I don't know what calm is, Jaeger." He took a deep breath, my wrist still in his death grip. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "There. I'm fucking calm. Happy?" I nodded and he sighed. "That was my uncle."

"Oh. Is he your guardian?" Levi nodded, his face completely stoic, but his eyes a vortex of anger and madness. It was a scary sight.

"Let's go back. I'm sure somebody needs thisroom," Levi said. It sounded like he was trying to take the emotion out of hisvoice, but I could feel it there. We stood and I stretched before we walked out of the small office. Levi still hadn't released my wrist.


	8. Chapter 7 - He Doesn't Hate You

We made it back to the table and sat down just as everybody was clearing their plates. Levi still seemed to be in hysterics, although he did a good job at hiding it from the majority of the milieu. I replayed his conversation with his uncle in my head again. It seemed so natural to them, like talking about the weather. That deeply disturbed me, the fact being that Levi dealt with that kind of treatment a lot. A thought crossed my mind. Before I could stop myself, the question tumbled out of my mouth. "You weren't serious, were you?"

"Serious about what?" Levi asked, putting a great deal of effort into staying calm. His hands were shaking, giving him away, though his grip on my grip didn't loosen. He wasn't mad, though. I had seen mad on Levi. This was something else.

"What you told Kenny, before I hung up the phone." I looked down, analyzing the lines in my hands and the microscopic grooves of my fingerprint. The tips of my ears heated up. I avoided saying the word, although it blasted through my head, every nerve was dripping with it. Suicide.

"What's it to you, brat?" he spat defensively. "It's not like you'd give a shit."

"I dunno," was all I could come up with. Levi narrowed his stormy grey eyes, knitting his brow, as though he was deep in some kind of torment. Reagan approached us from behind, putting his hand on Levi's shoulder. Levi jumped, startled, finally dropping my wrist. I rotated my hand, hoping that feeling would return to my numb fingertips. That kid had a helluva death grip. He tensed like a cobra, waiting to strike, tightening his shoulders until they nearly touched his ears.

"How was phonecalls, guys? Learn anything about each other?" Reagan asked calmly, taking his hand away from Levi's shoulder. He visibly loosened up at the lack of hands on him, returning to an almost normal posture.

"I learned that Jaeger's a little Mommy's bitch, but that wasn't exactly news," Levi hissed. "Who's on graveyard shift?"

"Hanji and Erwin. And, language, Levi."

"Don't you think I would have stopped cursing already if I gave a fuck about your constant nagging?" Levi was at his edge. He never snapped at Reagan like that. He and Hanji were his favorite staff.

"Woah, Levi. Do you need to take five?" Levi gritted his teeth, baring them like a caged animal. In a lot of ways, that was exactly what he was.

"Away from him," he growled, pointing at me. I flushed, a foreign hurt pricking me all over my body. I didn't know why that offended me.

"Okay. I will uncuff you for five minutes, but just this once, cuz I don't want you to kill poor Eren." Reagan released Levi from the handcuffs and he stormed out of the mess hall, slamming the door loudly behind him in time with the crack of thunder from the outside storm. That got a few stares from the rest of the milieu. Once Levi was gone, Reagan turned to me. "What happened? This isn't like him. Yeah, he's an ass, but not like this." My eyes widened.

"Reagan, you just said bad words are-"

"I know what I said. What happened? I know that it wasn't this morning, because in notes, it said he started that."I blushed as we sat down again. Reagan looked at me with expectant eyes. I started talking before I could stop myself.

"So, uh, in phonecalls, Levi's uncle was saying all this awful stuff to him, and I don't know what came over me, but I hung up his call. He was mad at first, but I don't think he is anymore. I don't know what came over him. His uncle shouldn't be allowed to have custody of him. That was one of the most messed up conversations I've ever listened to." Reagan nodded and took a deep breath before responding.

"I was afraid of something like this happening. I know what his uncle says to him. He's told me what that bastard's done to him, and it makes me sick. I think that you should talk to him."

"Me? Why me? He hates me!" I protested. "Why don't you do it?"

Reagan held up a hand to silence me. "He doesn't hate you. And you obviously care about him. Go talk to him. Come back when everything's been sorted out. Take the rest of the night if you have to. The cuffs will go back on after the conversation's over." I didn't budge. "Go! Talk. To. Him."

"About what?" I demanded. "And I couldn't care less about him!"

"Don't say that. You seemed to care enough to hang up that phone. What you talk about is between you guys. Figure it out. I'm sure he has lots to say. If he tells you to go away, don't. He pulls that on me all the time. It means he needs somebody even more, like the more he protests, the more he wants somebody to be there for him. Hug him until he stops protesting. Then, keep hugging him. Physical touch is his love language, in therapist speak. It's, like, the only thing that makes him feel safe anymore." I shook my head.

"No. You do it. He wanted to get away from me, remember?" I protested. Reagan rolled his eyes.

"He only wanted to get away from you because he doesn't want to let you in. He was about to tell you, quote, personal shit. He's always guarded, that one, but it seems like you're poking a hole through one of his walls. Now, go." I rolled my eyes and stepped outside into the black rainy night. I shivered. Stepping off of the porch and onto the muddy pathway, I squinted, looking for Levi. All I could see was a forest of black trees against a black sky.

"Levi!" I called, the wind drowning my voice. I heard a dense thump. I looked in the direction of the noise and found Levi, deep in the trees, punching a large tulip poplar. I could tell he could hear me approaching, as his blows to the solid tree slowed to a stop.

"Stay away from me!" He yelled, not turning around. Even in the low lighting, I could see blood dripping from his knuckles.

I took my chance and rushed towards him, wrapping my arms around him from behind. He tried to pull away from me, but I only pulled him into my chest tighter.

"Get the fuck away from me!" He kept struggling, but I didn't release him. I could feel his toned muscles flexing and tensing underneath his soaked black tee. "I'm gonna hurt you!" That didn't sound like a threat, but a fear. I kept my grip around his waist firm, and his small body eventually calmed, stopping the struggling. Immediately after his muscles relaxed, his upper half slumped into me, finally giving in. I didn't let him go. I liked the feeling of his breathing on my chest. 

"Levi, what just happened? What's going on with you?" I curled over him, resting my chin on his shoulder. Levi shuddered."Please, tell me."

"Why do you care?" I thought about that for a second, drawing a blank. "Why the fuck would you hang up the damn phone?"

"Look, I don't know why I care, but I do, okay?" He stiffened and pulled back a little, so I pulled him back to me.

"Chill Jaeger, I'm just turning towards you, no need to suffocate me." I loosened my arms and straightened up, tilting just my head down towards Levi. He slowly turned to face me, his eyes innocent, almost childlike. Almost.

"What's going on?" I asked again, pulling him into my chest and loosening my arms again. He didn't make any attempt to move away from me.

"I don't wanna talk about it," Levi said, shaking his head, his voice vibrating into my chest. We were both soaked, chilled to the bone in the middle of a thunderstorm.

"Please. Please, tell me," I begged. I could feel Levi exhale a large sigh.

"God dammit! I'm only gonna say this shit once, so you'd better pay attention, and if you interrupt, I'm done talking." There was a long pause as Levi seemingly gained his composure. "Thank you for hanging up the phone. I'm not a victim; I know how to handle that shit, but it was nice to feel like somebody cared. Even just for a second. I was uncomfortable with you witnessing something that only Reagan really knows about. Trevor thinks that Kenny and I are thick as thieves. Everybody does, and we like to keep it that way. But what really got to me was what I was feeling about you, on top of that. The gratitude, I mean. I'm supposed to hate you, Jaeger. You and everybody else. I've hated everybody for a long time. You get stabbed in the back one too many times, and all that. I've kinda had a chip on my shoulder since somebody really important to me left me. I can't just go around thanking people for saving me from shit I coulda handled myself. That's pussy shit. And when Reagan came over, and I let go of your arm, which I forgot I was holding, I saw your purple fingertips. I realized that I had hurt you. I didn't want to take space with you because I didn't want to hurt you again, which made me even more confused. I hate you, I shouldn't think twice about hurting you, but here we are. Thank you, Eren. For hanging the phone up. And making my life even more of a confusing shit hole." He sounded mildly frustrated about the last part.

"Were you serious?" I asked, referring to our conversation inside. "About killing yourself?" I finally came up with the courage to address it directly.

"I don't lie about that shit, Eren." All the muscles in my body tightened. "I've tried to kill myself six times."

"Don't." There was a pause of charged silence. "Look, I know you don't want me. That's fine. I get that. I am okay with that being a one time thing, but still. Just don't do that."

"What? Would you miss having a nemesis?" Levi smirked, joking about his own death.

"Something like that. I just don't think that the world would be a better place without you," I said. I wanted nothing more than to kiss him, to pull him away from the edge. To tell him it would be okay and make sure Kenny never said something like that to him again. But I didn't, because it would have been highly inappropriate, and I was supposed to be hating him.


	9. Chapter 8 - I Can't

"Are you gonna kiss me, or are you just gonna keep standing there, looking like a dunce?" Levi asked, reading my mind. I froze even more solidly. "I'll get you the fuckin' cone hat and make you sit in the fuckin' corner, if you need."

"But I thought-" I started before Levi cut me off.

"I don't care what you thought. I don't care what I said after lunch. I want you, right now." I wanted him too. I knew I did, but I didn't want to make things more complicated. Instead of kissing him, I hugged him tighter to me, waiting for the desire to fade. "This isn't kissing, Jaeger." His voice was muffled by my wet shirt. He slowly stood up on his toes, kissing up my neck, brushing his soft lips against the sensitive skin behind my ear.

"Please don't," I breathed. "Please." He kept covering my neck in kisses. "Levi, stop!" I pushed his shoulders and he staggered backward. "I can't."

"Why not? You could earlier." Levi looked confused. I was terrified that it would be just a fling, so I had to turn him down. I didn't want him to think that I was afraid, so I lied.

"I'm – I'm straight." Levi folded his arms and shifted his weight. His eye roll was almost audible.

"Jaeger, I fucked you today. I heard you moaning my name. Don't even try that with me. That might work with everybody else, but not me. You don't have to be gay to not be straight. Where do you think my- never mind. But seriously, don't blow bullshit like that."

"Levi, I hadn't been touched by another person since I got here. Of course you kissing me would stir something up." Ouch. Just saying that to Levi hurt like a hot iron rod getting shoved right through me. I continued, trying to solidify it in myself. "I couldn't just sort it out by myself because you would have been there, anyway. Handcuffed, remember? I was horny and you were there. That's all. It was an automatic response." Levi blinked, speechless for once. I wanted to take it all back. Instead, I doubled down. "Yeah it was fun, but we're both guys. It wouldn't have worked out anyway." Saying that hurt me more than anything Levi had ever said. I knew I was lying to myself as I said it.

"Oh. I thought you were different," Levi said, his guard not back up yet, like he was waiting for me to change my mind. I decided that I would backtrack just a little, for my own sanity more than anything else. I gently kissed his forehead, knowing that would confuse us both much further.

"Don't forget, you rejected me first." That got him. He slammed me into the tulip poplar, his lips crashing into mine. It took everything in me not to kiss him back.

"Please," Levi begged.

"You don't even like me." I pulled away and hugged Levi tight, stroking his drenched hair. "It's been a weird day. Everything will be back to normal in the morning. We'll be back at each other's throats and we'll forget today even happened."


	10. Chapter 9 - Weed?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FUCK. SORRY THESE CHAPTERS ARE SO WEIRD. I PROMISE IDK WHY ITS BEING ALL WEIRD.

The rest of the night was uneventful. Once Levi had calmed down a little more, we were handcuffed to each other again, before brushing our teeth and going to bed. 

Levi wrapped his arms around my waist, and I couldn't bring myself to pull away as I fell asleep. I woke up with sweet smelling smoke blowing into my face. I opened my eyes to see faint orange embers emerged from the joint in Levi's mouth. I felt his fingers tracing up and down my chest. I smiled at the twinge of pleasure it gave me to see Levi candidly being affectionate to me.

"Did you smoke at home?" Levi asked, offering me the weed with a raised eyebrow. I nodded and rubbed my eyes. "Want some?"

I shook my head, declining the offer of a high. I felt the need to stay sober in case we did something stupid together. He shrugged, taking another hit. "Your loss."

"Where did you get that? What time is it?"

"Hanji and 2:30." I looked around the dark room, my eyes adjusting. I saw Hanji sitting in the desk chair with a small pipe, the light from a tablet illuminating her face. She smiled and waved at me. I sat up and waved back, trying not to cry out in pain. Now that my muscles had a chance to shut down, my lower half was in agony trying to go back to normal. It hurt to move a centimeter, let alone sit up and move around. In the silence, I could hear the rain continuing to come down.

"Does Erwin know?" I asked, trying to distract from the obvious stabbing ache I was feeling. "And how are you still awake? I thought you needed lots of sleep."

"When I say lots of sleep, I mean more than an hour. Anything more than about two restful hours without night terrors is a success. And Erwin's Hanji's fucking dealer, Mike, that other overnight staff, buys from him too." He puffed on the joint again, blowing rings with his smoke cloud.

"Hey, Levi," Hanji interrupted lazily. "Wanna watch a doctor show? I love it when they do the operations. Maybe I shoulda been a surgeon, not a stoner," she giggled.

"Nah, you can, Hanji. I gotta talk to Jaeger. Can you give us a minute?" Hanji nodded and stood, leaving the bedroom and closing the door behind her. Levi looked down at me. I tried to sit further up, but a shooting pain slammed me hard. I sucked in a breath through my teeth. Levi's relaxed, lowered eyelids couldn't mask the concern gleaming in his silver eyes. "You okay?"

"I think you beat my back out. I hurt all over," I mumbled. I could see Levi's eyes glaze over, even in the darkness. He nodded silently, putting the spent butt out in a cup of water.

"Look, I hate that I had to get high to be able to say this, but I'm not used to having feelings for people the way I have feelings for you. I promise, if you try again with me, I won't push you back. I promise that sex meant something, but it freaked me out enough that I kinda lashed out. I- I'm sorry, Eren." I raised my eyebrows, shocked at Levi's sudden apology. I wasn't sure if he had ever said those words in his life.

"Levi, it's late and you're high. Let's see how we feel tomorrow and go from there. This morning, we hated each other. I just don't think feelings can change that fast." Levi sighed and scooted down, rolling to face me. He wrapped his arm around my waist again, pulling me tight to his body and we fell asleep again.


	11. Chapter 10 - Ten Minutes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SMUT. Proceed with caution.

The next morning woke me with Levi's leg wedged between mine. We weren't moving at the moment, but it was obvious there had been some friction while I was asleep. I groaned, trying to roll away, but my body protested by shooting pain through my legs and back. Levi pushed his leg further up between mine.

"That bastard!" I cursed under my breath at Levi and my current predicament. "Levi, wake the fuck up. Move." I tried pushing his shoulder with my index finger. He adjusted his position incredibly slowly, making sure to press his leg up against me as much as possible, smirking at me. The evil look in his grey eyes only made my predicament worse.

"You mean this?" He asked cockily. "And you're the one poking me, just sayin'." I flushed a deep crimson and tried again to get away from him, but he gripped me by my sore hips, effectively keeping me in place.

"Don't say stuff like that. What if somebody hears you?" I asked.

"They won't." Levi swiped his tongue over his lips, looking up at me with his icy eyes. I rolled my eyes, trying to ignore how much I wanted his tongue other places. I gasped as he started grinding the top of his thigh into my crotch.

"Levi," I tried to snap, but it came out like a muddled gasp. "Give it time, you'll hate me again." I groaned half-sarcastically. Levi reached his hand around my body and slid his hand under my sweat pants, groping my ass. I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself. "Yeah. That. Stop doing that. You're not allowed to attack me like this first thing in the morning."

"Okay," Levi said, completely taking away all contact his body was making with mine. I shivered, causing my body to tense up. "You look you could use a nice hot shower."

"Yeah, without you." Levi rolled his eyes, his ditzy morning mood completely gone. He was back to being the crabby asshole he always was. Somebody knocked on the door before opening it. The morning staff, Annie strolled into our bedroom.

"Cute," she said dryly. "Get your sorry asses over here, so you can shower." Neither one of us moved a muscle. "Sometime today, Lovebirds," Annie snapped. Levi sighed and crawled out of bed, turning to see if I would follow suit. I didn't move. She didn't need to see my morning wood, or the limp that I was bound to have. "Levi, get your roommate out of bed. I'll be back to unlock you. I have shit I have to do."

"Right, like I wanna be any closer to that brat than I have to," Levi said, sounding at least half serious. Annie shot him a zero tolerance glare and Levi consented, irritated. Annie left the room and Levi turned to me, extending his hand sourly. I took it and tried to get out of bed, but couldn't get enough weight off of my hips. Levi exhaled and reached his arms underneath my armpits, scooping me out of bed. He got me to my feet and let go, looking down at me. "You might wanna cover that," he remarked, handing me his towel. I held it inconspicuously over my crotch. Annie came back and briskly and silently unlocked our handcuffs.

"Ten minutes," she snapped. I hobbled over to the closet and picked out my change of clothes, before limping over to the bathroom. Levi passed me and disappeared into the bathroom. Sean and Jean approached me, jabbing my waist on either side. I winced and doubled over, my knees trying to buckle.

"Looks like we know who tops," Jean snickered, elbowing Sean.

"Yeah, for real. They finna get busted if this bitch ain't even walkin'." Sean chortled, folding his arms over his chest.

"Can it, Horseface. And Ew! We're guys. I rolled my ankle getting out of bed." I realized that that making cop outs only made me look worse. 

"Right," Jean nodded. "I honestly figured Levi would be one to take it."

"Whatever. That gay shit's nasty. Not about that life. Enjoy your shower, pretty boy." They let me pass without another word on my lame ass excuse.

I limped over to one of the shower stalls, opening the door and stepping inside. Stripping down, I turned the shower faucet on as hot as it would go. I weakly stepped inside the shower, gripping the handicap railing with one hand and my painful boner in the other. I started pumping my wet, leaking shaft, thinking about the happenings of the day prior. His hands, his face, his body, his-

"Ha-ah," I panted Levi's name again and again as I imagined his hands on me. I jumped when I felt arms wrapping themselves around my waist from behind.

"You called?" Levi purred into my ear, taking my hand away from my dick. I groaned, more annoyed than anything else. "You never gave me my towel back."

"You hate me, remember?" I moaned when he replaced it with his hand.

"Want me to finish the job for you?" He gently squeezed down my sensitive cock from the base to the head.

I realized that my arousal was winning any protests my mind was raising. He bit my shoulder hard, sinking his teeth into my skin and sucking hard. His naked body pressed up against my back was almost too much. He slowly began pumping up and down. I tried my hardest to stay quiet.

"I'm so sore, Levi," I weakly complained. He quickened his hand wordlessly, kissing the back of my neck.

"Turn around," he growled, taking his hands off of me. I spun around, needing him to continue. He swiftly met our mouths in an open mouthed kiss as he wrapped his fingers around my leaking cock. He slipped his tongue into my mouth and my hips flexed forward into his hand.

"Levi," I gasped against his lips. "Please. We don't have long."

"I'm aware of that," he snapped. "Are we having sex again, or do you just want me to jack you off?"

"We couldn't finish in ten minutes," I panted as he tightened his hand instinctively. 

"Wanna bet?" Levi hedged, pulling back and raising an eyebrow, stopping all motion on my dick.

"Sure, but if you give me blue balls, I swear to Satan," I trailed off, leaning into the shower wall as Levi took another step towards me.

"You don't have to swear to me, I'm right here. How 'bout you fuck me instead?" 

"Y-yeah," I breathed as Levi began moving his hand again. He lifted one of my thighs and brought his lips back to mine. Our mouths moved in perfect sync with one another's. I eventually pulled back and kissed from his mouth along his jaw line while he gripped my thigh, lifting my leg up to his waist. 

"God, baby," Levi whispered, his voice mostly drowned out by the steady drum of the shower, pounding hot water into my back. "You're so fucking hot." Squeezing up my thigh, I whimpered softly at the feeling of his hands on my body.

"L-like, how?" I tried to ask when he backed me into the cold tile wall of the shower.

"Don't even get me started, bitch," Levi groaned, letting go of my thigh for a second to line his dick up with me. Pumping it a few times, he slowly guided me onto it, pushing into me slowly.

"Don't - don't call me a bitch, bitch," I moaned, arching my back against the wall. "God damn, I'm not sure I'll ever get used to this."

"I'm not sure if I'll ever get used to you." He slammed deeper into me, snapping his hips against mine, grinding against me. I leaned down and caught his parted lips in a kiss, and he sped up the motion of his hand on me in time with his steady thrusts into me. Gripping my hip in his other hand he changed his angle and rammed directly into my prostate.

"Levi!" I screamed, hitting the back of my head on the shower wall. "Oh, fuck! Right there!"  
"God, Eren," he panted, hitting against the sensitive bundle of nerves again. "I love my name in your mouth. You're so tight."

I could feel the pressure pooling in the pit of my stomach getting ready to release. "Fuck me harder! I'm so close!"

"Me too, baby," Levi breathed, kissing me again, his breathing erratic and heavy against my lips. I could feel his cock throbbing inside of me, getting close to climax as well. "God," he hissed into my mouth. "Where do you want it?"

"In- Inside," I decided in a split second. "Cum inside." He kept pounding me like some kind of two cent whore, and I had never been more sexually in my element ever. He nodded, and I panted uncomfortably, trying to hold it back for as long as I could. I felt like cumming first would be weird, but the look in his dilated silver eyes almost pushed me over.

"No, baby. Cum for me," he whispered against my lips, his thrusts erratic and sloppy. I let out a quiet moan before his cock just barely brushed my prostate a final time.

"Holy shit! Levi," I cried, reaching a heavy climax, nearly losing my balance completely and falling back into the shower wall. Levi rolled his hips a few more times into me before releasing in me. Breathing heavily, Levi looked at me with an expression that was half dry amusement and half horror as he wiped some of my cum from his cheek.

"God damn, Jaeger. What did I even do?" He licked the pad of his thumb, and I was mesmerized by his lewd actions. Kissing me quickly, he pushed some of my cum into my mouth with his tongue. I pulled back and tried not to gag. 

"I hate you. You can put me down now." I hissed.

Levi smirked evilly, and it was the closest thing to a smile I had ever seen on him. "I'm still cumming, Eren. That was heavy for me, too." He rested his forehead on my chest, breathing heavily, and releasing the rest of his cum before finally pulling himself out and setting me down. Now I was really screwed. My knees buckled when I tried to turn around and rinse off. Luckily, Levi caught me. "I'm right here, Eren," he said comfortingly. He stood me back up and wrapped his arms around my waist, supporting my weight.

"Levi," I leaned into him, my noodle legs being rather useless. "I never wanna stop."

"We should get out. It's been almost ten minutes." I was shocked it hadn't been longer.

"Don't ever let me go," I pleaded.

"I'm not going to. I meant what I said last night." He moved his hand to mine, lacing our fingers together. He reached around and turned off the water. I was relieved that it hadn't been a dream, because the feeling was mutual.


	12. Chapter 11 - A Deal

Levi was good about helping to support my weight as we made our way to breakfast, allowing me to lean into his shoulder and hold onto his arm when nobody was looking. We sat down I winced, catching the attention of my best friend. Armin looked up, smiling at me, before returning his eyes to the pages of his book. He had barely started that book when I saw him last night, but now he only had a thin stack of pages in his hand.

"Wow, Armin, you never cease to amaze me," I said, smiling. "You're the fastest reader I know." Armin smiled closed mouthed and shot me a thumbs up. I knew he didn't want to talk for fear of Annie's wrath. I couldn't blame him, really. Everybody was better behaved when Annie was on shift.

Annie was terrifying. She had been in the military and it was very evident in her personality. Her short hair was always pulled back into a tight blonde ponytail, and she stood like she had rods in her back. The woman didn't even look like she knew what a slouch was. The only issue with my theory was that Annie was distracted talking to another one of the dorm therapists. I instantly began to look for the cause of Armin's silence. Usually he would take at least a couple of minutes to rant to me about what he had been reading.

I looked to Levi and his eyes were shooting daggers at my friend, his teeth bared like he was a Doberman or something. I could feel silent fury and contempt radiating off of my room mate. I instantly understood the real reason why Armin didn't voice a reply. 

If Annie was scary, Levi was nightmare fuel. Annie's death glares looked like puppy eyes compared to Levi's. Something in his eyes was so cold and ruthless and broken that it chilled to the bone. In Annie's glare, there was at least humanity. Levi's scowls seemed almost inhuman. Like he could kill you and move on with his day without a second thought in your direction. Armin was trembling under his malicious stare and I had a sudden realization.

I would have to get Levi to stop doing that if I wanted to keep both of them close to me. I knew that if Levi's weird hatred for the petite blonde were to continue for much longer, Armin would avoid me almost as impressively as he seemed to avoid Levi, especially because it didn't seem like Levi would be going anywhere for a while.

I made the conscious decision to intervene. I lightly hit Levi's bicep with the back of my hand. He snapped out of his scowl and looked up at me with a confused expression in his eyes. I shook my head one time, hoping the curt, silent scolding would do something to get him to quit what he was doing. He flicked an eyebrow up and relaxed the rest of his face, as if daring me to do something. His lips were parted and a slight smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth when I did nothing. I whispered into his ear, "Stop being a dick to Armin. He's my friend."

"So? I can be a dick to whoever I want to be a dick to, Jaeger." Levi started to fold his arms but stopped after a brief reconsideration, popping the knuckles in his fingers with his thumb.

"Not if you want this to continue," I said, an oddly grave resolution taking root in my heart. Levi was not allowed to be mean to my friends. His eyes scanned mine, making sure I was serious. His face dropped when he realized I was.

"We'll see about that, Jaeger." His scowl was intensifying by the second. "I could get your panties off with my fucking eyes closed." I blushed at his blunt argument.

"I hope you like celibacy." Levi rolled his eyes. "You ever been to a monastery? Cuz that's exactly what this is gonna be like."

"You'll get over it." At those words, I made it a personal mission to deny Levi any pleasure out of me until he apologized to Armin, promising to stay on good terms with him. "I give it twenty four hours before you're begging."

"We'll see about that, Ackerman," I mimicked, a firm scowl on my face as I pouted my lips. "I give it forty-eight before you're willing to be nice. Cuz, if not, I'm not the man whore here. I have no issue not getting dick. You, on the other hand," I trailed off when we got in line for food. I was starving; I hadn't eaten enough yesterday, and it was really getting to me. I asked for three scoops of granola, filling my bowl well past the rim. I dragged Levi through the line. We reached the dairy and I poured as much milk as I could into the bowl without too many little granola bits falling out of my cereal pile. 

I looked into Levi's bowl and there was barely enough granola to feed a canary. He covered his cereal with almond milk and we returned to the table. He had deep purple rings underneath his eyes, seeming even more prominent against his vampire-esque pallor. It didn't seem like he'd even gotten an hour of sleep last night. "Are you tired?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "Why?" He took a bite of his food absently. I was happy that he was eating. He hadn't eaten anything the day before. I ran my index finger under my eyes, gesturing to his rings. "Oh. I could use some sleep, actually."

"How much sleep have you gotten recently?" I asked, tilting my head to the side.

"I think I got, like, twenty last night, and an hour the night before." I blinked, imagining having to operate on so little sleep. I came to the realization that he couldn't possibly have been referring to twenty hours of sleep the previous night.

"Wait, twenty minutes?!" He nodded, taking another bite of his food. "Jesus Christ, Levi. How are you operating?!" I thought back to the shower. He was doing that on twenty minutes of sleep.

"I have stamina," he said, smiling a crooked grin. His deep voice gave me goosebumps. His lips formed a playful, malevolent smile when he saw the hairs on my arms standing up. He stealthily reached under the table and squeezed my thigh, slowly working his way towards my crotch. I tried to make it seem like I was yawning, but we both knew that I was trying to hide the sound of my quiet moan. He chuckled through his nose and resumed eating his cereal.

"You hardly ever eat anything; you get no sleep, what is with you?"

"I photosynthesize, Jaeger. You should try it sometime." I rolled my eyes, not pushing it further. "Hey, Annie, can we clear? There's no real point in us just sitting here if we can't talk to anybody." Annie nodded, glaring at us with her glacier blue eyes. We stood and put our dishes into the bus bins. Walking was still quite a struggle, but I was starting to get used to it.

"Why'd you wanna clear early?" I asked.

"No reason. Come on." Levi led me to the bathroom, before kissing me right into the wall behind me. The lightbulb flicked on in my head. I quickly pulled away from him, blocking his access to my mouth with my hand.

"O-oh. I said celibacy, Levi. I meant it."

Levi pulled my hand from my mouth and leaned up to kiss me again. I didn't have the strength to tell him no again, but I knew I didn't want him to think I was a pushover, so I stood up on my tip toes, causing pain to shoot from my hips up my back and down both legs. My knees wanted nothing more than to not be knees anymore. They were ready for retirement, as I wobbled on the balls of my feet.

"Okay, not cool," Levi groaned, pulling on the collar of his white button down. It was almost unbearable with the black shredded skinny jeans he had on. "What do you want from me?"

"What do you mean?" I asked. He placed his hand on the wall, trapping me. I could hear my heart pounding at his proximity.

"For this quasi-celibacy to stop. It's bullshit, but I wanna know your terms."

"First of all, it's total celibacy, but thanks for your optimism." A thought crossed my mind and I let out a soft gasp.

"What?" Levi asked, his eyes suddenly wide and his expression unreadable.

It scared me enough to bring it up to him. "Are you using me?"

"What?!" Levi whisper yelled. "What the actual fuck, Eren?"

"Answer the question. Tell me if there are feelings or not, because I think that I'm just convenient for you. We're roommates, so that fixes location issues. We hate each other, so nobody would be able to see the tension. And now we're handcuffed to each other, so I'm just a piece of ass sitting right next to you all the time. I need to hear how you feel. Sober. And I want you to apologize for being an asshole to Armin all the time. And then actually stop scaring him half to death."

"I scare him?" Levi scoffed. I nodded. "Good. He needs to know that you're not up for grabs. You're mine, Eren." Nobody had ever claimed me like that before. Butterflies were flitting around my insides, but instead of saying that, I spun it on him.

"Wait, are you jealous?" I taunted. Levi turned pink as he reached up and clamped a hand over his mouth.

"Why would you think I'm jealous? If I so obviously am just using you for your convenience to me, then why would I have any reason to be jealous of the skinny blonde nerd that happens to be your best friend. That you always try to talk to, and look at, and smile at, instead of talking to me, or looking at me, or smiling at me."

"So you are jealous," I snickered.

"And if I am?"

"Don't be. Armin's my friend, nothing more. He's not a threat. I would say that Hanji's more of a threat to me than Armin is to you. But for the record, jealous is kinda hot on you. Just maybe not taken out on my best friend."

"Shitty glasses?! Okay," Levi sighed. "Fine, I'll apologize to him."

"Are you gonna tell me how you feel?"

"Give me some time on that one. I'm bad with words. I'm worse at talking about something like that. Lemme get my thoughts together. There are feelings, but I haven't even thought about how to put it into words. I want to make it very clear right now, that I haven't ever had an official relationship. I tried with somebody one time, but it was for somebody else's sake and now she's with my best friend. At least I think they still are. But, like I said, I've never done this kind of thing before, so yeah. That may take some time."

"Well I'm gonna wait to give you anything until you have that answered."

"Fair."

"And you apologize to Armin."

"Woah, there. That's asking a lot."

"He does not deserve what you're doing to him."

"What am I doing to him?"

"The staring, the snide remarks, acting like you want to kill him, all of it needs to stop. Now."

"Okay. Let's go find Armin. I'll say I'm sorry. I'll even give him a hug if you insist on playing therapist."

"No. If it takes you a while to think about your feelings, then shouldn't it also take you a long time to think up an appropriate apology?" I reasoned with a small shrug.

"Damn you and your solid logic." He rattled the chain of the handcuffs, frustrated. "Let's go. It's almost time for school to start."

"Fun," I said sarcastically. "Okay. Tell me how you feel first. Apologize to Armin afterwards."

"Deal. After it's done, I'm bending you over that counter. Right there." He pointed at the sink counter in the bathroom. I blushed a new shade of pink. "Look, and look well, Eren Jaeger, because I keep my fucking promises."

"Bet?" I hedged, honestly excited and slightly aroused by his promise to me.

"Don't try me," Levi grumbled. "You have no idea what I'm capable of. You're playing with fire, Love."


	13. Chapter 12 - Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow im really bad at this whole chapter thing. sorry guys. Im posting from wattpad, so if yall wanna read it on an easier platform, it's on there too.

School passed uneventfully. I had a hard time taking notes because my right hand was chained to Levi's hand. Also every time I reached for something, I would drag his hand with me. I reached for my backpack, which was sitting at my feet. Levi's hand came too, and on the way back up, he trailed his fingers up the inseam of my pants, gently pressing into my thighs. I glared at him and continued my work. After what seemed like a small eternity, school was finally over. We returned to our dorms, sitting in the lounge area. Levi swung his legs over the armrest at the end of the couch, laying down with the top of his head nearly touching my thigh. Jean and another student, Marco walked into the room, sitting on the couch opposite us. Jean folded his arms and jutted his chin out, trying to be a tough guy.

"Look, I know what's going on with you two," Jean spoke quietly, eyeing the doorways to make sure nobody was listening.

I decided to play dumb. "What do you mean?" I batted my eyelashes.

"Cut the bullshit, Jaeger. I know you two are fucking." I flinched at his blunt words. Levi sat up abruptly, shooting daggers at Jean. "And if you're gonna ask how I know, the shower walls are thin. And don't think I didn't see Jaeger's limp." I turned bright pink.

"What does this matter to you?" Levi asked, sitting like a mafia Don. Like he could snap his fingers and capos would come out of thin air and execute both of them.

"I just wanted to tell you two to keep it under wraps. We don't need anybody finding out about you two, because then they'll dig deeper and find out about us." Jean took Marco's hand. I had been wondering why Marco was here too. I nodded.

"Fair enough," I said. "Yeah, we can-"

"Shut up Jaeger. Never just agree to something. You always get something in return, for collateral. I'll cover his mouth or something, but it'll cost ya, Kirschtein."

"It wasn't just Jaeger making interesting noises." Jean snickered, and Levi rolled his eyes. "And how much do I owe you?"

"Depends," Levi murmured. "How important is the freckled brat to you?"

"Very." Jean looked to Marco with warm, loving eyes, an expression on his face that I had never seen before. "I love hi-"

"Cut the lovey dovey shit. We're negotiating. I don't need to read The fucking Notebook. Keep Sean off our back and we have a deal," Levi compromised. "If you and him bug Jaeger again, all bets are off. I'll have him screaming next time I hit it in the showers."

"Fine by me. Good talk," Jean said, squeezing Marco's hand. A bright pink blush bloomed on his cheeks, highlighting his cute freckles. Levi's hand rested on my thigh, and a blush matching Marco's heated up my cheeks and ears. Jean and Levi shared a knowing glance and snickered together at their respective partners.

"Nice job, Horseface," Levi nodded, a quiet congratulation to Jean. "How long has that been going on?"

"How long has what been going on?" Annie asked from the doorway of the sitting area, folding her arms. Shit. Levi and Jean's hands instantly flew away from me and Marco.

"We were talking about a project that I'm working on for geography." Jean said off the top of his head. His quick thinking saved the day.

"Oh, okay. But Levi and Eren are on distance from everybody, so how do you suggest I punish you four for interacting with them?"

"You could put us on silent reflection for an hour," Marco suggested. Levi nodded. It seemed fair, so I nodded as well.

"Okay, seems fair enough. Silence it is. One hour starts now."


	14. Chapter 13 - Confessions

It was harder to stay silent than I expected. I really wanted to talk to Levi. Not about anything in particular, just to hear his voice. I slipped up once and tried to ask Levi when dinner was.

"That's another hour, Jaeger," Annie snapped. I groaned loudly, frustrated. "Do you want it to be two?" I was silent, just glaring at her now. "That's what I thought." About ten minutes later, the other three were taken off of silence. Levi looked over at me, some kind of unknown emotion swirling around in his eyes. We were allowed to leave staff eyesight, having completed most of our treatment, so Levi and I returned to our room. I sat on my bed and Levi sat down on the floor in front of me, staring up at me with stormy eyes that made me weak.

"What's eating you?" Levi asked quietly, his voice a soft, sweet melody in my ears.

"Just talk to me," I whispered, trying not to get caught speaking. "I don't care what you say, I just want to hear your voice."

"O-okay. Uh, well, dinner's in, like thirty minutes to answer your previous question." I nodded. "And I didn't see Jean and Marco coming." I nodded again. "And my boots are all muddy, so that fucking sucks. Mud is so disgusting, there are so many parasites. And I haven't been sleeping because you make me nervous." He paused for a moment, gauging my reaction. "Not in a bad way. In the best way. I don't know what my sexuality is, but I tend to like people that are taller than me." 

Another long pause followed by a forced coughing fit. I sat silently, waiting for him to continue. "The, uh rain is nice, though. Rain and clouds are the best." I couldn't help but roll my eyes, silently frustrated with the change in direction. 

"Back home, I had lots of sex, especially while I was under the influence of shit. I guess you didn't need to know that, but, it gives context. I've tried with girls, and that was fine, and I've also tried with guys and that was fun, too. But I never dated anyone. That shit was too much for me. I guess you could say I have commitment issues. The only person on the planet I have any kind of commitment for is, well, two years old. My friend's kid. 

"Um, yeah. So. I, uh, freaked out after we fucked the first time, and I wanted more than that from you. I want a relationship with you, Jaeger. I have feelings for you. I think that before the handcuffs, they were there as well, but I could do a better job at hiding them.

"Then my dumbass ruined everything by kissing you. That really made it hard to stay cold, but I was managing. Then you fucking kissed me. I thought you hated me. I thought you hated the kiss until you did that. That really confused me. So now, I've got this guy that I thought was my enemy trying to take off my pants. I'm all for hate sex, but that's not what that was. Not for me, at least. Not in the slightest. I was way too concerned about making you feel good for that to have been hate sex. So, yeah. I have feelings for you, Eren. And it's fucking bad."

I wiped away tears that I didn't even know I had collecting in my eyes. "God, I'm such a crybaby," I whispered. "I have feelings for you, too." Levi stood and sat down on my bed next to me. We were quiet. I could hear Levi's slow breathing and I thought about what had just gone down. "Does that make me your boyfriend?"

"I guess so, Jaeger."


	15. Chapter 14 - Therapy Sessions

"Dinnertime," Annie called. Levi and I snapped out of our giddy stupor and returned to the sitting room while we waited for everybody else to gather up. "Eren, Levi, Trevor is waiting to have a session with you. Walk to his office, and the rest of us will go to dinner." Levi and I nodded and departed on the short walk to the therapist building. It was cold, from all the previous rain. The sky was a dark grey, perfectly matching the raven's stormy eyes. It wasn't raining at the moment, but I could tell that it would start coming down any second. Levi looked troubled as he glared at the ground, chewing his lip.

"What's going on?" I asked. Levi stopped walking, forcing me to stop. I turned around and looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

"How am I supposed to act like I hate you, Jaeger?"

"The same way you did before."

"But things are different now. I can't just be a dick without feeling terrible."

"I'm gonna be a dick back. It's not like you'll be the only one saying dumb shit,"I assured him when we started walking again.

"Okay," Levi sighed. We turned onto the path to the therapist's building. Before the building was in sight, I felt Levi suddenly dragging me into the thick forest, pinning me behind a wide poplar.

"What are you-" Levi tipped my head down and quickly kissed me, a cool, fresh taste on his lips. His lips didn't linger, not even giving me a chance to react before he was off of me again.

"Okay, we can go, now." I rolled my eyes and we kept walking. We finally reached the building with all of the shrink offices. We approached Trevor's office and knocked on his door.

"Come in," Trevor answered. Levi opened the door and we stepped into his small office. Levi plopped onto the couch, dragging me with him. I shot a glare in his direction. "Hey, guys, how are you?"

"How do you think I am, Trevor? I'm stuck with this bitch for the rest of my life." Levi said it hesitantly, but convincingly, an instant apology in his eyes.

"Language, Levi," Trevor sighed. "Okay, so I called you two here to have regular sessions with you and maybe give each of you insight into the other's inner workings."

"So I have to talk about my issues in front of that brat?" Levi complained. "Hell no."

"Eren, you're up first," Trevor said, ignoring Levi completely. "Levi, no talking. Just listening."

"Okay. Can you sign off on my phasework?"

"What phasework?" Trevor asked, still scrolling through his emails.

"Phasework? You know, the stuff I have to do to get out of here," I remarked like a smart ass, glowering at my therapist.

"No, what do you need me to sign?"

"All of my Atonement stuff." I internally kicked myself for mentioning my phasework. Atonement was the second to last phase, and it had taken me more than a year to get there. Levi was on the phase before that, Transformation. I didn't want it to seem like I was rubbing it in. I hated bringing up the fact that I was about to complete the rehab program for fear of upsetting the other students.

"Have you really already finished it?"

"Yeah."

"Awesome. Yeah. Show me your stuff and we'll talk about phasing up to Return. Bring it all to our next session." I nodded. "So I guess that means we'll have to talk about graduating. Your mother and I have a date in mind that treatment team has approved." Levi flinched at Trevor's words, obviously scared.

"When?"

"In three weeks. So, right around New Year's." My stomach dropped at the concept of total freedom.

"Three weeks?!" Trevor nodded, finally looking away from his computer.

"So that means start working on a speech, goodbye cards and that sort of thing. I'll get you the checklist as soon as possible."

"Okay."

"So, have you learned anything about Levi yet?" I shrugged.

"I'd like to learn something about him?" I hissed.

"And what might that be?" Trevor replied cheerfully, ignoring the venom in my words.

"How long am I gonna be cuffed to him?"

"Yeah, I think that's the question we both have," Levi interjected.

"I said no interruptions." Trevor turned to me. "We'll see. Have you guys said a single constructive thing to each other yet?" I shrugged again. "It said in shift notes that you went and talked to Levi after a rough phone call." I turned white.

"Um, yeah. I did do that."

"Sounds like you're starting to take responsibility and forge a healthy relationship with Levi."

"Something like that," I muttered, worried I would let something slip. "It's not like we're best friends."

"Yeah we're not exactly on dick sucking terms," Levi snorted, crossing his legs and glaring at Trevor. I felt my ears heat up, embarrassed beyond belief.

"That was highly inappropriate, Levi. Please apologize."

"I'm so sorry for not wanting the brat's cock in my mouth, because we aren't close like that. Sorry for admitting that we don't suck each other off."

"Levi!" Trevor scolded, standing up in a huff and beginning to pace around his office. My knee was hammering up and down, anxiety rushing through my nervous system. "Please, contain yourself."

"Pfft!" Levi snorted. "Maybe if this punishment wasn't so laughable, I wouldn't be cracking jokes."

"And it sounds like Levi opened up to you enough to have a productive conversation," Trevor tried to continue. I nodded.

"Yeah. It was cool to see a new side of him." Trevor smiled, happy his plans were at least seeming to work on me.

"You two don't have to be best friends, but the goal with this is that you learn a little more about each other and realize that you two are pretty similar."

"I don't think so, Trevor. I think that we are very different, but that could end up being a complimenting quality in our, erm, friendship." I saw Levi's mouth turn up into a small crooked smirk.

"That's a very interesting observation, Eren. Okay, that's all I had for today. Family Skype call is on Wednesday." I nodded. "Levi."

"Hmm?" He responded coolly.

"Your uncle told me to tell you that he's very sorry, but he won't be able to visit with you for your birthday, but that he would be able to have you come over this weekend instead."

"Why not my actual birthday?"

"He said that he has to fly out for a business trip the next day."

"Okay. That's fine. Sure, I'll go home this weekend. New York is, what, a three hour flight?"

"Something like that." Trevor paused. "Okay, I'll let him know that this weekend is a go. He says he has tickets already, so no need to worry about that."

"Awesome. That's exciting." Levi smiled the fakest smile I'd ever seen in my life. Trevor nodded.

"Have you still been having nightmares?"

"Every night." I could hear the honesty in Levi's voice.

"I'm very sorry about that. What are they about?"

"It's not that big of a deal. They're still about my mom."

"And then, tell me about kissing Eren yesterday morning. What was that about?"

"I just wanted to see if that would get us put on distance."

"Interesting. Okay, well, no distance, but I think that you should apologize to Eren. That totally crossed his boundaries."

"Okay, right now, or?"

"Now is fine." Levi turned to face me.

"Look, Jaeger, I'm sorry I kissed you. I see that that might have crossed some boundaries, and I'm sorry about that. I hope in the future, we can get along better and that I won't take it too far when I want a need met." Wow. That was incredibly convincing. He used Therapist-speak and everything.

"It's fine. No biggie. It wasn't anything too traumatizing," I smirked.

"Okay, now give each other a hug."

"Oh hell no," Levi objected. I rolled my eyes and opened my free arm.

"Go on, Levi."

"You're treating me like I'm five, Trevor."

"Then don't act like you're five. Give Eren a hug." Levi rolled his eyes and hugged me. His body was stiff, and so was mine. We were both cringing at the awkwardness of the situation. I patted his back twice and pulled away. His mouth was pulled into a thin line and I could feel the blush forming in my cheeks. "That's all I had for you, Levi. Skype call is on Thursday and we'll talk about the visit contract."

"Sounds good. Can we go, now?" He asked, more bored than anything.

"Yeah, you two are free to go." Levi was instantly on his feet, pulling me out of the room. I waved a goodbye to Trevor while I was being yanked out of the office and outside into the rainy evening. The cloudy night was electric with potential energy, even the sky seemed alive. The rain was coming down at a steady rate. We started for the mess hall in tense silence, both of absolutely smitten with the other, waiting to see who would talk first.


	16. Chapter 15 - Turn the Tables

"Three weeks? That's all the time I have left with you?" Levi demanded, but the powerful emotion in his voice didn't sound like anger. The quiver in his prose sounded much more like fear than a more aggressive emotion. We were still walking towards the mess hall when he stopped walking, jolting me to a stop as well.

"I had no idea," I sighed, still totally shocked by everything as well. "But it isn't like you can't just find somebody else to mess around with. You're not exactly Quasimodo."

"Listen to me right now, and listen well. It isn't messing around to me. Not anymore. I don't think you realize, hell, I don't even if I get the full extent of my feelings for you. Sure, it all seems innocuous and fun right now, but when I'm with you, I feel more than I ever have before. It's terrifying to think of what will happen when you graduate. I can't go back to feeling nothing." His voice was a soft plea. He sounded empty and defeated, like his soul was somewhere else, tormented and isolated.

Silence can be a beautiful thing, captivating the essence of a soul, inspiring it to fill it with an indescribable energy. Or, silence can be deadly. I felt the blades of silence slowly digging into my throat, threatening my very life as I waited, praying for something to interrupt the thick, black quiet. There were two things that I knew with complete certainty. One was that Levi was currently having a kind of absolute breakdown inside as everything he thought he knew was crumbling before his very eyes, becoming that of strange nightmares, no longer reality. The second piece of knowledge that I had come across was that I was walking on a tightrope. One wrong step would mean that I would fall completely, dangerously, and hopelessly in love with the boy staring at me, drowning in the same treacherous silence.

I had to do something before I totally lost my mind in the menacing, oppressing silence. We started walking again, the soft crunch of our footsteps helping to break up the softening silence. It wasn't enough. I needed to break the tension somehow, I needed him to know that I felt the same way, but I couldn't even find a voice.

"Can I kiss you?" Finally speaking again, sending the silence into exile, I stopped walking and turned towards him.

"Wha-" He began, before I interrupted him with my mouth on his. Backing him into the forest and up against a tall grey poplar, I was shocked at this new side of me that was surfacing. I hadn't realized there was a dominant bone in my body, even when I was with girls I let them lead, but I loved the new feeling of calling the shots.

As soon as we were out of sight, I gripped Levi's collar and tilted my head to the side, feeling the licking flames working their way through my system. He parted his lips with a gasp and I deepened the kiss, my tongue exploring everywhere in his mouth. I could taste mint in his kiss. He reached up and pulled on my hair, a soft sound escaping his lips as he kissed me back.

My eyelids fluttered open to see that his were squeezed shut, a rare blush on his face. I pulled my mouth away from his, quietly catching my breath before bringing my lips to his sharp jawbone, kissing gently up to his ear. He was a mess as my mouth ghosted the sensitive skin of his neck. I tugged the collar of his shirt down and bit down on his his defined collarbone, sucking the skin into my mouth. I sucked harder and harder until I was sure there would be a mark. I pulled away from him, examining my work. I nodded at the hickey that was forming on his shoulder, before letting his shirt go.

Levi was a bright pink as he adjusted the collar of his shirt, returning it to where it was before. He was still panting, trying to catch his breath as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his black skinny jeans.

"That was hot, Jaeger," Levi exhaled as we returned to the path. We made it to the mess hall and sat down with our dorm, ready for dinner, and dinner alone. We weren't prepared for anything that was to come, but we had both silently resolved that eating dinner was something that we could take on.

**(A/N: Short chapter, ik, but it needed it's own chapter. It didn't really fit in any of the other ones... Hope you enjoyed)**


	17. Chapter 16 - Armin

"Now you just have to apologize to Armin," I chirped as we entered the mess hall for dinner. Levi groaned loudly, nudging me with his elbow and piercing into me with his stormy eyes. I noticed that Armin wasn't at the dinner table. "Let's go wash our hands," I announced to Levi who nodded curtly in response. 

We left the table and headed towards the student bathroom, only to find Armin washing his hands and whistling to himself. Our sudden entrance must have startled him, as he gasped and looked up, first at me and then at Levi, pure dread in his eyes. He backed up to the wall,putting his hands up. I turned and saw the menacing glare in Levi's eyes. Nudging him, he snapped out of it and rolled his eyes. "Hey, Armin, what's up?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"H-hi, Eren.

"Armin, Levi has something to say to you." Levi let out a snarled sigh, lifting his upper lip in disgust.

"Look." He paused, full of thought. "I've been an asshole to you." He sighed loudly, dreading what he was going to say next. "I'm sorry. I should be more, uh, polite. You're the brat's friend. I don't want to kill you or anything. Jaeger said you were worried 'bout that. I'm not gonna hurt Jaeger, either, don't worry. So, uh, yeah. That's about it."

"Why were you mean to him, Levi?" I asked condescendingly, folding my arms paternally. Levi shot me a quick glare before focusing on Armin again, whose face was a mix of confusion and fear.

"I, uh, I was jealous, okay? I was scared that when the whole handcuff thing was over, that Jaeger would leave me and I just didn't want that. There. Sorry, Armin. I promise to be nicer to both of you nerds."

"It's okay, Levi. But I do have a question," Armin smiled, looking at me for reassurance. I nodded, urging him to continue his thought.

"Okay," Levi consented with a soft exhale, pushing his ebony hair back with his free hand.

"What are you two, exactly?"

"Armin," I said, figuring that was coming. "Levi's my boyfriend." His eyes widened. He nodded, his shiny blonde hair bobbing up and down.

"Okay." Armin paused, looking at his feet. "Good to know." I wrapped my left arm around him, giving him a brief hug, before pulling back with a smile.

"Alright, good talk," Levi said, obviously done with the conversation. "We're cool?"

"Yeah, we're cool," Armin replied. "Take care of him, and if you're a dick to my best friend I swear, the rituals I'll perform will not be friendly." Armin was a practicing Wiccan, and he was constantly threatening to hex people, even though it was against his religion. 

"Creepy little shit," Levi muttered when we left the bathroom. Sitting down at the dinner table, I squeezed Levi's hand out of view, smiling at him.

"Thank you, Levi,"I nodded, grinning at him, happy to have my friend back. He looked up at me and smiled back. It was an interesting smile. The corners of his mouth turned down, but it was an obvious smile. That was the first time I'd seen him smile a real smile, with teeth and everything. "You're smiling," I muttered, more to myself than anything, trying to assure myself that it was real. Levi Ackerman was smiling at me.

"You're worth smiling for." He paused. "And apologizing to Armin for." He laughed a real laugh, not a smug snicker or a spiteful laugh. My heart about exploded, shattering into a thousand pieces. His perfect features were smiling, for me. I knew I was in trouble as I struggled with the fact that I had fallen in love.


	18. Chapter 17: Pretend It's Me

"When is your birthday, Levi?" I asked, trying to make conversation with Levi while we had some down time in our bedroom. Dinner was long over and we were in our dorm getting ready for bed.

"December 25th, which is ironic, considering I'm literally the Antichrist," he replied with a snide chuckle, rubbing his bottom lip with the pad of his thumb.

"Don't say that," I chided playfully, nudging his shoulder with my fingertips. "You're not the Antichrist. You're, like, his hotter younger brother." Levi chuckled through his nose at my observation, tipping his head backwards into the wall and lacing his fingers between mine. There was a knock on our door, and we both reflexively flinched away from each other. "Yeah?" The door cracked slightly, revealing Marco, smiling knowingly at us.

"Jean wanted me to tell you the staff that won't snitch to the therapists," he stated matter of factly, motioning for us to get closer so that he wouldn’t have to speak loudly. I stretched as Levi slowly got to his feet, taking my hand again and helping me to my feet.

"Okay," Levi said softly when we approached Marco in the doorway. Students weren’t allowed in each other’s rooms, for safety reasons, according to the Executive director. Marco let out a quiet breath, running his fingers through his messy brown hair before beginning to speak.

"So, Erwin, and Hanji don't care. And then Reagan and CJ. Oh, and Jacob. Jacob doesn’t really wanna know about it, but he won’t tell on you if he finds out."

"Cool. Thanks," I said, planting a kiss onto the top of Levi’s head. I was relieved that CJ wouldn't care, because she was my favorite staff. "Tell Jean thanks."

"Okay. Goodnight, guys." Marco smiled at us. "Sleep well," he winked, causing Levi to roll his eyes.

"Tell Jean to go easy on you," Levi retorted, causing Marco to blush and dart away without another word. Levi closed the door and we turned off the lights, starting carefully back towards the bed. I kicked off my shoes and Levi started to unlace his boots. After much fumbling in the pitch black darkness, he finally got them off and we laid down in bed together. The door opened revealing Annie.

"Lights o- oh. They're already out. Goodnight, guys." She closed the door and left. Levi rolled over onto me, kissing me. I kissed him back, my free hand finding his hair. I hooked his hips with one of my legs and sat up, kissing and licking up his neck. I brought my leg back down and he crawled onto my lap. His cuffed hand reached down, lightly tracing the waistband of my pajama bottoms. I shivered with excitement, realizing what he wanted. This time, my logic caught up in time.

"Levi, the only reason I'm not limping anymore is because I took an Ibuprofen after dinner. There is no way I can handle another round. You'll break me. Give me a little while so I can walk again. Then we can do this kind of thing." 

"Please," Levi murmured, brushing my hair out of my face with his fingertips.

"We did this morning. You and your sex drive can wait." Levi gently lowered his hips onto me. I gasped as I felt the obvious hard on in his sweatpants. 

"No I can't."

"You're hard already?" I exclaimed quietly. Levi nodded, planting a kiss on my jaw as he waited for a verdict from me.

"You turn me on, Jaeger. I have never gotten hard this fast in my life."

"My body can't handle this again, but I have an idea." I kissed him forcefully before reaching down the front of his pants, giving his boner a gentle squeeze. 

"Hmm," he moaned, muffling the noise in my mouth while he kissed me back. I took my hand away from his pants and got out of bed. I took his hand and helped him out of bed behind me. We walked to the bathroom and I locked us in a stall. I pulled his sweats and boxers down to his ankles and licked my hand, coating it with saliva. I wrapped my hand around his dick and squeezed gently. His eyelids fluttered as he leaned back into the wall.

"Pretend it's me," I whispered. He slammed his lips into mine, bringing me into a rough kiss. I gasped at the way his frenzied hands explored me.

"It's gotta be tighter than that, then." I tightened my grip and he gasped, "Like that." He kissed me again, thrusting his hips into my hand. He pushed his tongue into my mouth and kept slamming into my hand. "Eren, fuck, Eren." He moaned into my mouth and I tried my hardest not to get hard as well, knowing I could only do so much to prevent that. The way Levi was kissing me made it difficult to think about anything else. He kept pounding my hand and kissing me, but I could tell he was getting close. His kissed were getting sloppy, and my hand was dripping with precum. I pulled my mouth away from his and I thought I heard him let out a quiet whine. I lifted his shirt and kissed down his chest. I stopped at the area between his hips, licking his soft skin, covering it with small bites. "Eren, can you suck it?" Levi panted. I froze. I had never done that before. 

"I can't promise I'll be any good."

"I can tell you what to do," Levi said. I nodded. "Stick your tongue out just a little. Enough to cover your bottom teeth and make a sort of ramp into your mouth." I did as I was told. "Good, now slowly, very slowly, put me into your mouth. Try to avoid your teeth." I slowly licked the tip of his cock before pushing it into my mouth. "Just like that. Now suck." I started lightly sucking Levi's dick, but I couldn't fit very much of him into my mouth. I used my hand for the rest of the job. He moaned softly and thrusted into my mouth, gripping onto my hair, tugging at the roots of my scalp. My eyes watered as I suppressed the gag that threatened to choke me. I reached my free hand up, placing it on Levi's chest for balance. He took my hand free hand, kissing it and sucking on each fingertip. He took his fingers from my hair, gently patting my hair reassuringly. "Can I cum inside?" I couldn't say anything, so I made a thumbs up with my hand. He reached down again, tangling his fingers into my hair. I sucked harder, quickening my hands as well. "Eren," Levi sighed before cumming hard in my mouth. I wanted to gag, but instead I swallowed every last drop. After taking a moment to compose myself, I looked up at Levi, who was looking down at me wide eyed. "Did you swallow all that?"

I pulled his cock out of my mouth and nodded, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. "Yeah."

"Damn, Eren. I didn't swallow any of it giving my first blowjob. Spat it out into a fucking sink. That took skill."


	19. Chapter 18 - Nightmares

A voice rang out into the inky blackness of the predawn, shifting me uncomfortably from my slumber. I gradually began to regain consciousness from the grasping tendrils of my candid dreaming as the voices beside me grew louder. It seemed like several seconds and several hours happened all at once as I began to recognize the distressed voice, crying out into the thick comforter of a moonless night. The bedroom was black as pitch, so I saw nothing as my eyelids fluttered open at some unknown haunted hour.

"No! No, please," Levi whimpered, his breath ragged as he thrashed around between the sheets. “I- I can’t do it! Don’t make me do it," he groaned in a voice that was high and childlike, as though during his sleep he had warped into something of a broken cherub, desiring for some sort of gratification or affection that would never come to him. “C-come back.”

I knew that I should wake him up, to try to rescue him from his tormenting dreamscape. I rolled over, catching a grip of his shoulder. "Levi, wake up," I said, my eyes finally focusing on the navy colored sky peeping through the empty windows, smudges of grey clouds seeming to sift through as well, like ripples purling on the surface of water, deep down in a well.

"No,” he mumbled. “No!" Levi cried, much louder this time, his face twisting and warping into a mask of pure terror, while he continued to writhe in the bedsheets. I could only imagine what he was dreaming about. I shook his shoulders harder, putting as much force as I could into shaking them. 

"Levi, please." I couldn't handle seeing him like that. I had to wake him up. Tears were starting to prick my eyes, as waves of pure sympathy rolled over my body, knocking my head around like a tugboat trapped in a whirlpool. I could feel that my shaking him was seemingly only having adverse effects as he began whipping around much harder in the bed, thrashing against my hands, fighting me. "Wake up," I mumbled one last time, in a final feeble attempt to pull him from his nightmare, and to my surprise, Levi's eyes shot open immediately, and he sat up in a flash, gasping while his eyes swam around the room, reorienting himself to the room once more. Once his eyes focused on me, he clutched at my shoulders, wrapping his arms around my neck, as if I would float away if he let me go. He was fighting everything warring in his mind, it seemed, battling several demons at one time.

"Eren," he said quietly, more to himself, as if he wasn't sure if I was real.

"I'm right here," I assured him, running my fingers through his thick messy hair. I planted a kiss on his forehead while his body trembled in my arms. "I'm here, Levi. It was just a dream." After a long while, he seemed to calm down a little, his breaths becoming more regular, less labored. I watched the grey clouds continue to dance around the ink black sky, noticing the silent stars observing us from afar. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No. Maybe some other time,” Levi hummed, bringing his lips to mine gently, reaching his free hand up to caress my face, brushing tears from my own eyes with the backs of his fingertips, just barely gracing my cheeks. I felt myself begin to kiss him back before he pulled away, all too soon, interrupting our sweet, slow kiss. "Thank you. For waking me, I mean."

"Of course, Levi. I don't know what kind of sadist wouldn't have," I murmured, looping the fingers of my free hand through the fingers of his. Pulling his body tight into mine, I could feel my arms locking around his sinewy, muscular back, silently vowing the rest of my body that they would never let go of him entirely. I felt fresh tears start to spill from my eyes, cascading down my cheeks in their well worn paths. 

I hadn’t realized that Levi had taken notice until I felt his lips travel from my cheek to my ear, pressing soft kisses into my skin before asking in a soft voice that only melted me further into the putty in his hands that I was, "Are you crying?" 

"Maybe." I muttered, trying to choke out a laugh, but it caught in my throat, forcing my breath to hitch itself up into another sob. I realized that I needed to pause if I ever wanted to be able to breathe normally again, so I paused. Levi rubbed soothing circles into my back, continuing to kiss my temple, and down my jaw, and then back up again. I tried to quiet my mind, to allow myself to formulate actual words to say, so that I wouldn’t just be spewing garbled sobs into his shoulder for the rest of the night. "It's just so sad. I hate you have bad dreams. I hate that your mind does this to you when you can't get away."

"We'll I guess you'll just have to get used to it, if you plan on sticking around,” Levi hummed, and I loosened my arms around him, so that I could break free enough to kiss him, as a quiet promise that I would, in fact stick around as long as I could. I played with his hair gently, tugging on the tips of his two block cut, laying back down beside him, squirming to get closer to his frigid body. He kissed my neck once before softly brushing his lips against mine one final time, bidding me a silent goodnight. I pulled him close and we fell asleep, warm in each other's embrace, happy for that moment, to be alive and with one another.


	20. Chapter 19: What? He's Warm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I haven't been posting. I wrote this in 2017 and 2018, so if it isn't very good, many apologies. I was trying to remaster it for AO3 but I came to the realization that I'd just keep putting it off until I forgot about it entirely, so if you're alright with less quality work, I'll post the rest of this story as well as the completed sequel, which, by the way is a huge technical improvement to Just Five Days, as well as Book 3 (incomplete) and the Prequel, No Regrets (Complete. Intended for reading after the sequel.) But in the meantime, these stories are all on my Wattpad, under username @Ackermans_Love_420. Have a lovely day!!

A knock on the door woke Levi and me. The door opened before we had mustered the energy to scoot away from each other. 

"Uh, what?" Reagan asked. Levi exhaled loudly, sitting up. 

"What? He's warm," Levi justified. I groaned and sat up.

"Yeah, you can't yell at us for stuff we did while we were asleep. And besides, aren't you glad we're getting along?"

"Yes, I'm very glad you're getting along better. You two are fucking lucky I walked in and not somebody else. Jean told me everything."

"That fucking-"

"Levi," Reagan warned. 

"I still don't do mornings. Cut me some slack."

"Dude, fourteen days until you're an adult! Isn't that exciting?!" Regan exclaimed. I didn't realize that Levi was turning eighteen.

"Something like that." Levi looked unimpressed. "I'll be all by myself. Nobody I'm forced to rely on." For some reason, that hurt. I didn't want him to be all by himself. 

"I didn't know that you were turning eighteen." Levi looked at me before responding.

"How old did you think I was turning, Jaeger?"

"I dunno. I hadn't thought about it. Just not eighteen." 

"Fourteen days 'till I'm checking outta here for good."

"Damn, that's really soon." I thought about how soon that actually was. I didn't want to lose him before I left.

"Eren, language. Levi's been a bad influence, I see."

"Damn isn't even a bad word. See? Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn," Levi defended. "It's used in the Bible. It can't be bad, then."

"You know what else is in the Bible, Levi? Incest. Does that make incest okay?" Levi rolled his eyes. 

"Are we done here? Can we shower?" Levi asked.

"Not with each other," Reagan joked.

"Jesus, how much did Jean tell you?!" Reagan's jaw dropped.

"I was just kidding! Argh! Get me some bleach. I did not need to know that!"

"Okay, just let us shower," I finally interjected, holding up my side of the handcuffs. Reagan unlocked the handcuffs and we retreated to separate showers. I thought about Levi turning eighteen. The hot water steamed up the room. I didn't want him to forget about me. I didn't want this Christmas to be the last time I ever saw him, but I wasn't even from the East coast and that's how it was starting to look. I was glad he didn't walk in on me.


	21. Chapter 20: Allergies

"Are you okay?" Levi asked when we were out of the showers, walking to breakfast. "You seem a little down."

"Yeah. I'm fine," I sniffed. I kicked myself for sniffling, but I couldn't help it.

"Then what was that?"

"Allergies." 

"Everything's dead, Jaeger. It's December. It wasn't allergies. Don't lie to me. Tell. Me. Why. You're. Sad."

"When you leave, you're gonna move on and someday meet a beautiful girl. You're gonna get married, have a couple kids, and forget all about me. She'll be beautiful. Tall, blonde, perfect in every way. I don't want to be that selfish kid that holds you back, but I don't want you to move on. I don't want you to leave me. I don't want you to forget about me." Levi stopped dead in his tracks. He spun around, facing me, gripping the collar of my shirt angrily.

"Jaeger, what the hell are you talking about? Who says I'm gonna move on? Who says I'm gonna forget you, huh? Does me turning eighteen somehow break us up? You're sixteen, the Romeo and Juliet Law applies. Does me leaving break us up? No! It fucking doesn't! I will write you letters if I have to, but I will stay in touch. I never fucked with long distance before, but I can make it work. We can make it work. If you find somebody back home, then we can end it, but I will fucking wait for you. I won't so much as look at another person unless you don't want me anymore. I am serious about this relationship. I swear to you, Eren. I will come back for you. And I won't leave your side until you tell me to. Jeez, how flaky do you think I am?!" I couldn't speak. I felt warm inside even though outside was frigid. Even under his angry grasp, I felt safe and happy. I had never felt this way with anybody. Never felt like I needed them the way I needed Levi. Never felt so content, even when they were lashing out. I realized that I had never loved anybody the way I loved Levi. I smiled, heating up my cheeks. "Say something, Eren."

"I love you," I whispered. Levi was taken aback. He looked like somebody had just punched him in the stomach. His expression was unreadable. He dropped my shirt and took my hand.

"Eren. Eren, I have incredible commitment issues. I feel the same way, but I can't say it back yet. Give me some time, and I promise I will tell you the same thing. It hurts that I can't put it into words, but just know it's not because I don't feel the same way, because I do. Just lemme tell my commitment issues to shut the fuck up and I will get back to you."

"Yeah, I wasn't expecting you to say anything back, it is a little fast."

"I don't think so, considering the circumstances. We've known each other since last year. And we didn't hate each other the whole time. We were pretty tight when I first got here, remember? Then something changed. I don't know what it was, but we hated each other." Levi paused. "Oh! I remember. It was back in March. I realized on my own that I wanted to sleep with you, but I didn't wanna ruin what we had. So I said something dumb about your mom. And then, being the stubborn asshole that I am, I didn't back down or apologize."

"Right! I remember. God, I had forgotten why I hated you. I just knew that I did. But I don't hate you anymore. And I really don't think that I hated you then. I think I was mad at you suddenly being an asshole. But I don't think that I hated you. I think I was happy you pushed away. I was so afraid of doing something awkward or embarrassing in front of you. But I couldn't get away from you. You're kinda addicting, Levi. Think where we could be now if we had let it happen in March."

"Jeez. We'd practically be married." Levi smiled.

"Or maybe it was good that we started dating now that we're further along in our phasework. Maybe we would have been broken up by now and it would have been awkward. Maybe we needed to see what it was like to be enemies before we could succeed in this kind of relationship."

"Maybe you're right. I'm just glad I'm with you now."

"Me too."


	22. Chapter 21: Any Concerns

Trevor motioned for us to join him during lunch. We walked to his office and I plopped onto his couch. The rain was lighter than it had been the day before, but it was still wet enough that we had gotten mud on our shoes.

"You ready for your video call, Eren?" I nodded. He logged into his video chat account and called my mother. She answered and she popped onto the screen. She smiled and waved at me.

"Hi, Mom." I smiled back. "This is Levi. The guy I'm cuffed to." Levi pressed his lips together into a wry smile and held up his hand waving it quickly at my mom.

"Hi, Levi. My name's Carla. It's nice to be able to put a face to the stories finally." It made me happy that my mom was being nice to him.

"Okay, let's get started, shall we?" Trevor asked to move the therapy call along. "How are the two of you doing?" 

"Good."

"Doing well, Trevor. How about you?" My mother replied.

"I'm doing awesome. Okay do you remember what the plan was for today's session?" Trevor asked, eyeing my mother expectantly. 

"Oh! Right! Yeah, let me grab her." My mother left the screen for a moment and returned with my adopted sister, Mikasa. 

"Hey, Mika!" I said, excited to see my sister. "How are you?"

"Good! Oh my God, Eren, it's so good to see you!" Her black hair was cropped close to her chin, which was new.

"Is that a haircut?" I asked. She smiled, tucking a stray strand behind her ear. 

"Yeah! Do you like it?" 

"It suits your face shape. I really like it, Mika." I couldn't get the grin off my face. I hadn't seen Mikasa in nearly a year. "This is my therapist, Trevor, and Levi. We're handcuffed together as an intervention." I wiggled my cuffed hand, and Levi frowned.

"What's an intervention?" She asked.

"Kind of like a punishment for doing something stupid. We got into a fight, and so Trevor wants us to get along better, so we're handcuffed for a while."

"Ooh! Well, don't get into anymore fights. I want you home before my birthday!" She was wearing the scarf I had given her for her last birthday. Levi clenched and unclenched his jaw, looking past the laptop. 

"Well, I actually have news for you three," Trevor chimed in. "I have a graduation date set. December 29th." My jaw dropped, and so did Levi's. That was only four days after he was leaving. Mikasa and my mother were glowing. They both had enormous smiles on their faces. 

"I am so excited to have my baby home!" I blushed a little, but couldn't stop smiling. I was so excited to see my mom and sister. I was excited to sleep in my own bed and walk my dog. I couldn't wait to see the beach again and surf with my friends. I missed California more than anything. I was even excited to go back to school.

"Wow. Congrats, Jaeger," Levi offered. I smiled a forced grin at Levi, and he smiled one back.

"Thank you, Levi."

"Now for the therapy," Trevor said, smiling smugly. There was a collective groan shared by everyone other than Trevor, even Levi. "So we're gonna talk about what coming home's gonna look like. Carla, do you have any concerns about Eren coming home?" There was a pause of charged silence.

"Well, I'm not afraid that Eren's gonna stop eating again, or cut, or use pills. But I am worried that the alcohol will be a temptation for him. He's an angry drunk like his father was, and I don't want to see him like that ever again." Her words hit me like a knife to the heart. I had secretly been harboring the same fear.

"Eren, do you have anything to say about that?" Trevor asked, looking at me. I blinked, frozen.

"Uh, I mean, I guess I feel the same way. I'm not gonna do that other stuff, but drinking will be hard to get over. I've been clean since I came here, but I also haven't been around it. I'm afraid I'll go back to the way I was. I think it's a definite possibility."

"I don't," Levi interjected. All heads turned towards him. Trevor shot him a reprimanding look.

"Care to elaborate, Levi?" Trevor asked.

"He just seems like he cares too much to fall back into something like that. I dunno. I really just don't think he will. He never talks about drinking or anything, so, yeah. That's all."

"Okay, would either of you like to respond?"

"Um, yeah. I actually really appreciated that. I'm glad somebody has faith in me." I smiled. My mom and Mikasa did as well.

"Yeah, thanks for the perspective, Levi," Mikasa said. "My brother would never do something like that again. You and I are on the same wavelength. He loves us too much."

"I agree," Levi said. My mom took Mikasa's hand and squeezed it. Trevor shot Levi another look.

"Do you have a reply, Carla?" Trevor asked.

"Levi, somebody who hates my son, has enough faith in him to interrupt a therapy call. I should follow suit and give you my full faith and support, Eren." She had tears in her eyes. "Thanks, hon," she said to Levi. He nodded at her. "I love you so much, Eren."

"Love you too, Mom." I felt strong, like I could take on anything. "I don't need alcohol anymore. I'm sure I can handle it. Levi's right. I love you two too much to hurt you like that again."

"I'm so excited to see you again, Eren," Mikasa said.

"Okay, Mikasa. Do you have any concerns?"

"Not really. I just wanna have Eren at home again. He's the best little brother ever and it's been so hard without him. My girlfriend, Sasha misses him, too." Levi's eyebrows flicked up.

"Tell that goddamn potato I miss her too." Mikasa beamed. My mother rolled her eyes at my language, but kept her mouth shut.

"Okay, so what's your life gonna look like when you go home, Eren?" Trevor asked, turning towards me. 

"Well, I'm gonna be a junior, so that'll be cool. I'm gonna reconnect with my healthy friends, enjoy the sunshine, do my schoolwork responsibly, and go to the beach every day. If something comes up, I'll use the healthy coping skills I have learned. It's gonna be great, Trevor." Trevor smiled at me and my family.

"I am glad that you're so optimistic. Most students are scared to go home." I nodded.

"Yeah, I'm not scared at all. Only excitement here, Trevor." It was only a minor bluff. There were some fears, but they weren't worth admitting.

We continued our therapy call by coming up with a plan for just in case. When the time came to get off the call, Mikasa's energy was completely uncontainable. She was practically bouncing off the walls. I was anxious to see her again, too. Her smile radiated all around her porcelain complexion, and I was happy to see her happy. 

"I'll see you in eighteen days," Mikasa gleamed.

"See you then, Mika. Love you guys." 

"You too." My mother said to me. "Get your stuff done and come home, Sweetie."

"Yeah. I will. Bye." Trevor hung up the call. He looked over to me.

"So how do you think that went, Eren?" Trevor asked. I nodded, thinking.

"It went really well. I'm super excited to go home."

"I can tell. Do you think you'll be able to stay away from all the stuff you used to get into?" I nodded again. I looked over at Levi, who seemed lost in thought and was stiff as a board. 

"I really think I'll be able to." Trevor smiled. "Was that all you needed me for?"

"Can I see your phasework?" Trevor asked. I unzipped my backpack and handed him a binder thick with papers. He leafed to the very end and started signing the lines that said 'Therapist' with a red pen. He finished up and smiled. "Here you go. You'll be in Treatment Team next Tuesday. Be prepared for that. Levi, Family Therapy tomorrow at this time." He nodded in acknowledgement. "You two are dismissed." We stood up and bolted out of the therapy building. The drizzle had turned into rain again when we stepped outside.

"Thanks," I said, looking at Levi.

"Sure," he said, distantly. He wasn't looking at me.

"What is it?" I asked, picking up on his mood. He shook his head. "Levi. What's wrong?" I squeezed his hand.

"Lots of stuff. It's all dumb shit, though. I'm just worried."

"What are you worried about?"

"Did you really do all that shit you guys talked about on that call?" I nodded. "I thought you had it easy. I was jealous that your family loved you. You haven't had it easy. Addiction is fucking hard. Trust me, I know. I know you won't go back to it, though."

"How do you know?" I interrupted, not entirely sure anymore.

"Because I'm telling you not to. If you love me, dumbass, you'd better listen. Don't ever do that shit again. Make sure you keep eating. Don't cut. Stay away from drugs and alcohol. And remember when it gets hard that your boyfriend told you not to. I'm not worried about that, Jaeger. I am just really gonna fucking miss you is all." His voice cracked on the last word. I looked over at him and his eyes were glossed over with tears. The tip of his nose was a rosy color and the whites of his eyes were pink. His bottom lip was trembling, so he bit it to make it stop. I stopped walking and pulled Levi into a warm embrace. I wrapped my free arm around his head, pulling it into my chest. He wrapped his around my waist and we stood like that for what seemed like a little eternity. We finally pulled away and walked back to our dorm.


	23. Chapter 22: You're Being Weird

The rest of the day came and went and Wednesday bled into Thursday uneventfully. We woke up and showered before being recuffed to each other by CJ. I looked at the table of students during breakfast. Armin waved at us and smiled. I smiled back and, much to my surprise, Levi did too. It was the worst attempt at a smile that I had ever seen, but it was a smile, nonetheless. Marco and Jean were brave enough to sit next to us and Sean sat far away, glaring at us the whole time. The other students occupied themselves with other stuff. Connie was talking to Renier and Peter. Bertoldt was cracking jokes with CJ. I hadn't pulled her aside to tell her, but I had decided that I was going to sometime that day. I didn't know the other students too well, but they didn't seem bored either. We were ready for the week to be over. I was going to have to get used to school on Fridays again.

"So, you're going to New York to visit Kenny tomorrow. That's crazy," I said, attempting to start a conversation. Levi nodded.

"I can't say I'm excited."

"That's fair. I wouldn't be either if I had to be alone with him for the weekend." He nodded again, effectively ending the conversation. I leaned closer to him and lowered my voice. "You're being weird."

"No I'm not," Levi defended. "You're being weird." I narrowed my eyes.

"Right. I'm being weird. Totally." He nodded again, turning away from me. "What the fuck Levi? What is going on with you? I thought we cleared everything up!" I whisper-yelled at Levi. His only response was a blank stare. "I think we need to talk," I turned away from him. "CJ, can we take some space? I need some air." She nodded, running her fingers through her short hair. I stood up and pulled Levi outside. "Why are you being weird?" I pulled him off of the path and into the thick forest. I stopped when I couldn't see the path anymore.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not being weird."

"Stop that!" I yelled, slamming my fist into the nearest tree.

"What?" Levi hedged. "What am I doing?"

"You know exactly what you're doing. You're being an asshole. Stop pushing me away."

"How am I being an asshole?! I'm not the one pushing anybody away. We haven't spoken about jack shit since yesterday afternoon."

"Because we resolved it. What is going on, Levi? Honestly, I have no clue!"

"I don't want you to leave." Levi looked at me, a hurricane in his grey eyes.

"You're leaving first, dumbass," I said softly. His lips opened, turning down, giving his face a desperate expression. There was hysteria deep in his eyes. Madness. He looked like he was about to snap. He let out a sharp breath of air, like a nervous laugh, but the only noise was his breath. "Levi, I-"

"Eren. I don't mean leaving this school. I mean leaving this half of the goddamn country. I don't want you to leave me. I want you to be happy, and have fun back in California, but fuck, I'm gonna miss you so bad. You know I wanna say it back, I really want to, Jaeger. I wanna fucking tell you that and kiss you and never let you go, but I just don't see it going that way for us." I let his words sink in.

"Are you breaking up with me?" He was silent, like he wasn't sure. "Cuz, I have every intention of waiting for you, too. I promise we'll make it work somehow." I tipped his head up and ran my thumb along his bottom lip. "I don't want to lose you. You know how I feel. I told you yesterday. I'm not backing down, Levi. I really do love you." I kissed his lips slowly, waiting for a response. There wasn't one, so I pulled away. "I need you to tell me everything's gonna be okay."

"I wish I could say that, Jaeger. Just like I wish I could tell you how I feel without my commitment issues bubbling up. I am bad for you. I'm too unstable. I don't want our relationship to be just sex and drama. I saw the bruises I gave you. That's how I am, Jaeger. I hold on too tight, and then I always end up hurting the other person. I really shouldn't have been born." His eyes were filled with tears.

"Levi! Don't fucking say that ever again. If you hadn't been born, then I would never have met you. I am so sorry that you don't see what an amazing person you are. I hope someday I can show you. I don't care that you can't say that you love me yet. And we'll get over the sex and drama, but that's really all we can be at a school like this. I do want a more casual relationship with you, but we can work on that once we leave."

"What if I can't do it? What if I can't be a healthy person? What if I can't have a normal relationship? What are you gonna do then?" A huge tear rolled out of his eye down his cheek.

"I'm not into normal. Levi, I'm into you." I wiped the tear away with my thumb. More tears came before Levi spoke again. His breathing was normal and his voice was completely unaffected by the torrent of tears pouring out of his eyes. His face looked godlike.

"But what if I can't do anything but hurt you? What if I'm too broken and we can't make it work when we leave?"

"Stop worrying about everything, Levi. Just kiss me and enjoy whatever time we have left. Who cares what happens in two weeks? All I care about right now is you." His lips were on mine in an instant, our mouths molded together. I could taste his salty tears as Levi backed me into the tree behind us. His hand was grabbing my hip, his thumb hooked in my belt loop. He took his mouth off of mine, pulling me closer to him, and licked up my neck. He planted a few kisses around my ear before speaking.

"Dammit, Jaeger," he whispered into my ear. "I'm gonna miss you this weekend. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I will be looking forward to Monday."

"Me too, Levi."


	24. Chapter 23: I Love You

School was boring but the atmosphere was an intense cesspool of tension. Levi had a strong emotion radiating off of him. I was glad when the school day was over and we could go to lunch. Seven hour school days were another thing I was going to have to adjust to again. Trevor came to get us at lunch for Levi's family therapy. We called Kenny and I sat in silence as I waited to see the man I hated more that I had ever hated Levi tenfold. Kenny answered the call and his face looked like an older, more sinister version of Levi's. His shoulder length shock of brown hair only added to the villainous look on his face.

"Levi, my boy!" He smiled. "How are you today?"

"I'm good, Kenny!" Levi said cheerfully. "I'm super excited to see you. How are you doing?"

"I'm alright. The weather here is pretty nice for winter in New York City, so I might take a walk and enjoy the snow on the ground after this call for the rest of my lunch break." It was like Kenny and Levi were completely different people in front of Trevor. I was impressed by their act.

"Sounds like fun. I can't wait for this weekend." Kenny smiled at Levi.

"Is this Eren Jaeger?" 

Levi nodded, wiggling the handcuffs. "The one and only."

"Nice to meet you, Eren. I'm Kenny," he introduced himself. "And between you and me, you don't seem as bad as Levi made you out to be." I smiled and nodded.

"Nice to meet you, Kenny," I said in the nicest, most polite tone I could muster in the given situation. Levi was so stiff. I felt so bad for him. Trevor jumped right into the visit contract. Levi maintained his mock enthusiasm and so did Kenny. The whole call was over after 20 minutes. 

"Again, it was good meeting you finally, Eren," Kenny said at the end.

"You too, Sir." I smiled the fakest smile ever.

"Bye, Levi. See you tomorrow."

"See ya, Kenny," Levi said before Trevor hung the call up. 

"So, Levi, how are you feeling about that visit?" Trevor asked. Levi nodded and smiled.

"I'm so excited. We're gonna talk about what we're gonna do for the weekend tonight at phonecalls. It's gonna be so much fun. I'm thinking just a chill weekend. Maybe we wander around the city, maybe we don't. I don't know. It'll be great." I raised my eyebrows at Levi's great acting that was convincing Trevor so well.

"That's good. Your flight leaves early tomorrow morning. That means you two are gonna be uncuffed at the end of the day. You'll be off distance with everybody first thing tomorrow. So we're gonna chat today. Do you two understand why this intervention was given to you?" Both Levi and I nodded. "Okay. Good. What have you learned being handcuffed to each other?"

I spoke first. "I learned that Levi and I work pretty well as friends. I'm glad that we don't hate each other anymore. Four days went by pretty fast."

"I learned that there's more to life than hating Jaeger," Levi said, smirking. "Not much more, but more."

"Okay. Can each of you name three good qualities about the other person?" Good kisser, great in bed, sarcastic, witty, passionate, sexy, caring...... I paused, trying my hardest to think about what I could say that wasn't romantic. I opened my mouth to speak, but Levi cut me off.

"Eren is an introvert. In a good way. I like that he's shy. That sounds weird, but it's pretty endearing after a while. But he is very firm when he needs to be. He doesn't let my shit slide. And, uh, I love how close he is with his mom and sister. When my mom was around, she and I were like that. She died when I was four, but I remember that really clearly. I would have done anything for my mom. Eren's the same way and I respect that. Eren's just a way cooler person than I gave him credit for. Someone I want to be friends with from now on. Someone I would want in my life after we're both long gone from here." I was speechless. The honesty was clear in his expression. I was incredibly tempted to kiss him. Right there, in front of Trevor. I smiled at him instead. I felt like I could cry tears of joy.

"That was very good, Levi. Okay, Eren, it's your turn."

"Levi, I love your dark sense of humor. It might be pushing it a little sometimes, but I always like your snide remarks and weird jokes. I like how assertive you are. That's a really special quality. I tend to let people walk all over me, but you don't and that's really cool. I like how caring and passionate you are about things you find important. You're definitely somebody I want to keep being friends with. You're a good person, no matter how many times I or anybody else has said otherwise. You are somebody I care about." Levi nodded. His eyes were glossy, the corners of his mouth turned up into a small smile. I opened my free arm and Levi gratefully hugged me back briefly, but tightly. The hug ended and we pulled away from each other.

"This is exactly what I wanted from you two. I am glad to see this intervention working the way it was supposed to. You two can be uncuffed at seven o'clock tonight. You're free to go, guys."

"Thanks, Trevor," I said as we disappeared into the rainy day. We started walking back toward the cafeteria.

"Look, Jaeger," Levi said, breaking the silence. "Back there, I wanted to say something, but Trevor was there, so I didn't. After saying that stuff to you and hearing what you had to say, I - I love you. I love you, Eren. So goddamn much." He whispered the last sentence through tears. I hugged him close to me, petting his jet black hair. He wrapped his arm around my waist tightly and we stood there in the rain for a long time before returning to our dorm table and finishing lunch.


	25. Chapter 24: I Keep My Word

After lunch, it was Hawthorn Dorm's turn for group therapy in the school building. We all trudged through the mud and rain before reaching the building to do more therapy. I sat down in an armchair and Levi sat on the floor next to it. I ran my fingers through my hair trying to contain the fact that I was absolutely giddy. Levi had just told me that he loved me and my thoughts were running a mile a minute. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. I wanted us to be the only two people in the world. My vision was blurry and every conversation that the other people were having sounded like it was underwater. A hand waving in front of my face snapped me out of my daydreaming.

"Eren, are you good?" Armin asked. "You seem off." I nodded.

"Yeah, I'm good. Thanks, man. Just thinking." Levi's head snapped in my direction, an odd look on his face. I smiled closed mouthed at him.

"Just making sure that everything was okay." He paused for a moment. "I miss talking to you. Nobody else likes talking to me."

"Armin, you are so fun to talk to. I miss listening to you rant about books. I'll be off the intervention first thing tomorrow and we can talk then."

"Okay. Thank you, Eren. I know sometimes I can be a lot to deal with, but you're my best friend."

"You're my best friend, too." Armin smiled and I realized Levi's eyes had been on me the whole conversation. I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders from behind. It wasn't Levi, because he was right next to me. My head snapped around and CJ grinned at me.

"Hey, buddy! Look, Eren, I should be telling you not to talk to Armin, but that sounds mean, so I'm gonna start a conversation with you and Levi. Sorry, Armin, but I do have to talk to them about something. I hope you understand."

"Yeah, I fully comprehend," Armin said, standing and finding a seat on the other side of the room. CJ sat in front of my chair, facing both me and Levi. She pulled her burgundy beanie over her ears and leaned forward. 

"Something's up between you two. I can see it on your faces. Enlighten me." She was sitting cross-legged, elbows on her knees, with her head in her hands. Trevor walked into the room before I could say anything. 

"Hey guys. Sorry I'm late," he said, sitting down on the other side of Levi. "Okay when you're ready to open group, put your finger in." One by one, everybody pointed to the center of the circle with their index finger. Except Levi, who stuck his middle finger in. I rolled my eyes as we clapped a single time to initiate the group. "Let's go around with a feeling statement. Pass left." Levi rolled his eyes, taking a deep breath.

"Happy, actually. Pass."

"Happy. Pass," I said as well. CJ was next.

"Intrigued. Pass."

"Content," a ginger named Peter said. "Pass."

"Bored," Jean said. "Pass."

"Calm. Pass," Marco said.

"Embarrassed. Pass," Armin said.

"Nostalgic," Connie said. "Pass."

"Annoyed. Pass," Sean said. Everybody continued until it got around to Trevor.

"Content. Circle." He paused. "Okay so today we're gonna talk about healthy relationships." I could feel everybody's dread. "Can somebody tell me what a healthy relationship is?" Sean put his finger in to signal that he wanted to speak. "Go ahead, Sean."

"A healthy relationship is where you don't have to be handcuffed to each other as an intervention," Sean said, shooting eyes at Levi and me. I looked away, embarrassed. Levi straightened up, like he wanted to be able to get between us. My boyfriend was sticking up for me. Boyfriend. I played that word over and over again in my head until it sounded like gibberish. I liked the sound of that. I hadn't thought about the term boyfriend since we had become official. It sounded so foreign, like a new language.

"That was unnecessary, Sean," Trevor chided.

"But it was true," his face was making a strange expression. His eyes were still shooting daggers at us, but mostly at me. "Just 'cuz people don't wanna hear it doesn't mean it isn't true. We don't need to coddle them. That's just nattycons." I cringed at the abbreviation of natural consequences. Levi was angry. His hands were balled into fists and he was biting his lip.

"Hey, we don't need this, Morello," Levi said, standing up. "We're leaving." He stormed out, dragging me with him. We walked far away from the school building. My cheeks were burning up, despite the cold. Much to my surprise, nobody followed us out. I figured they trusted us enough to give us some space. I looked down at Levi, who had briefly paused in our aimless wandering.

"You're on a really short fuse right now. Why?" I asked him. He looked up at me and frowned.

"Morello just pisses me off. But I wanted to get away from them for another reason." He smiled, his eyes raking my body.

"And what might that be?" I asked suggestively. He took my hand and stormed into the mess hall. He led me to the bathroom and kissed me hard. I kissed him back, and his tongue slipped inside my mouth. His hands went straight for my belt as we kept kissing. He pulled his mouth away from mine and brought it to my neck. He kissed up my neck and finally found my ear, gently catching the lobe with his teeth.

"I keep my word, Jaeger," he said into my ear seductively, his hot breath exciting me. I shivered as he backed me into the sink counter, remembering what he had said the other day. I looked at him, his grey eyes dark with lust. I brought his mouth up to mine and kissed him hard. He pushed me further into the counter. He bit into my lower lip and I moaned a little, trying to keep it down. He sucked on my lip until it was swollen. His tongue slipped into my mouth, licking every surface inside my mouth. "Are you okay doing this?" He asked, pulling back slightly. I was already leaning back over the counter, making him lean over me, one of his legs between mine. I tipped further back and propped myself up with my cuffed arm. With my free hand, I reached down the front of Levi's tight black jeans and pulled him closer to me with my legs. I kissed him again and he moaned loudly into my mouth. I hadn't taken my hand out of his pants and he started grinding into my hand. I couldn't wait for him to be inside of me. His mouth was hot on mine as he deepened the kiss. He pushed my legs apart and stepped between them. I moved my hand from his pants to his hair and ground my clothed crotch onto his, both of us panting a little. 

"L-Levi," I breathed. Levi didn't hesitate in pulling my pants down to my ankles. He leaned over me and kissed me, bringing one of his hands down, palming me through my underwear. I gasped at the urgency in his fingers, which only turned me on more. His mouth was rough in its movements; he was hungry. He slid my shirt up and sucked gently on one of my nipples. I squirmed at his mouth, nipping and licking and sucking my nipples. I could feel blood starting to rush south under his skillful touch. I loved the feeling of his hands on me. I felt lucky to have him. "Levi, you're mine. You aren't for anybody else. I want you all to myself." I blushed a bright red at my cheesy, embarrassing claim on Levi.

He moaned loudly when I said that, gripping me tighter. I bucked my hips and he kept squeezing, making me arch my back and cry out. "You've never said that to anybody before, have you?" Levi asked, releasing me long enough to get an answer. I nodded at him, and his hands moved to my thighs, pulling me forward so that my hips were hanging off the counter. "Don't worry, because you're mine too, Eren. I wouldn't trade you for all the tall blonde girls in the world." That brought a huge grin to my face. I figured I looked pretty stupid, grinning like such a fool, so I covered my mouth with my free hand. Levi's hand immediately pulled my hand away from my mouth, kissing me instead. He pulled back. "You have a beautiful smile, Jaeger. Don't you dare try and hide it from me." He brought our mouths together again and our bodies made as much contact as was possible apart from actually melting into each other. I could feel myself getting harder at the glorious feeling of our erections grinding together.

"Alright," I breathed when he pushed his hips harder down onto mine. The cold edge of the counter was digging into my lower back. "I'm ready." Levi's hands quickly pulled my underwear into the pool at my ankles and stepped between my legs, over the fence that my pants and underwear were making. He unzipped his black jeans and pulled his dick out of his briefs. He spat on his hand, coating his member with saliva before pushing it into me without warning. I winced and gasped at the foreign stretching feeling once again going on inside of me. He was huge. I thought I had been gifted with eight inches, but he had to be pretty close to a ruler. I honestly had no idea how I hadn't been split in half. He didn't move a millimeter while my muscles adjusted to his dick, but I could tell he was in a lot of agony, holding completely still. The look on his face spoke volumes. I purposely clenched my muscles and he let out a low groan.

"Eren, d-don't. That's – mean," he said, breathing hard. 

"Define mean."

"Oh, let me show you mean." Levi slammed into me hard, causing me to hiccup with pain and pleasure. He gripped my hips with a bruising pressure, digging his nails into my skin. He started thrusting at a steady pace that sped up quickly. Before long, he was moving at an inhuman speed, using his grip on my hips as leverage to his slams. He was pushing his whole dick in with each thrust, reaching my prostate every time. I tried to sit up a little, but Levi pushed me back down with his body, his mouth biting hard into my neck. I flinched in pain at the strength behind his bite and yelped when he started sucking the skin into his mouth. My fingers twisted into his hair as I let him continue to bang me into oblivion. I couldn't say much because my mind was muddled with pure ecstasy. "That was mean, Eren," he purred into my ear. I whimpered at the feeling of his breath on my ear. Then he started using his hand to get me off. I could feel the pressure building, demanding a release.

"I love you, L-levi," I moaned.

"I love you, Eren. I mean that." I moaned again at the idea of Levi loving me. This beautiful, broken boy was all mine. And I was his. "God, I'm close, Baby." I shuddered at his words. He ran his thumb over my slit, and my dick twitched while my back arched.

"Me too," I panted.

"I can tell," he said, licking his thumb, which was coated with my precum. My eyes darted to the scars on his wrist. I grabbed his arm, kissing the thin, irregular ridges on it. He shivered and sped up his hand, making pace with his superhuman thrusts. My muscles tightened around him as my climax approached. "Haah," he gasped. "You're so tight." I tried to loosen my muscles so that Levi could finish. I released my muscles as much as I could, and I could feel his body jolt before I was filled up with hot liquid. "Eren," he murmured. The feeling sent me over. 

"Levi!" I gasped as cum spurted onto my chest. My shirt was rolled far enough up that it was saved.

"Oh, Baby," Levi cooed before gently kissing my lips. His smile was oddly angelic, like he was a fallen angel, and it was absolutely intoxicating. He took a minute to catch his breath before pulling out, using paper towels to clean us off. I got my clothes back on and we began the walk back to group therapy. "Now you know," Levi smirked as we stepped inside the room where our group was.

"What?" I asked.

"Thank you for rejoining us," Trevor smiled as we sat down.

"I keep my word," Levi said in a low voice. CJ raised an eyebrow at Levi's words and the blush I could feel heating my face.


	26. Chapter 25: Confession

"Hey, Levi, Eren, wait up!" CJ called after us as we were grouping around our night staff. The whole day had passed and CJ's shift ended before I found the chance to tell her about Levi and my relationship. We turned and looked back at her. CJ looked up at Annie. "I'll get them back to you; I just need to talk to them." Annie nodded sharply and began walking with the other student back to the dorms.

"Yeah?" I asked once the others were out of earshot. Levi bit his lip and looked up at CJ.

"Look. I know something's up that you two aren't telling me. We can do this the easy way or the hard way."

"We'll tell you, CJ, but I wanna know what the hard way is," Levi hedged. CJ sighed, her bluff being called.

"I know that you kissed him, Levi. I wanna know if that was because of anything else that is going on with you two. You've both been pretty weird. Eren's been talking more and you haven't had that constant chip on your shoulder and you haven't tried to kill Eren once since you two have been handcuffed."

"I wouldn't have killed him. Maybe terribly maimed him, but not killed him." I scoffed, thinking about how recently Levi and I hated each other.

"I question that," CJ prodded. "What is happening between you two? I am seeing these changes and I have a guess, but I wanna hear everything straight from the horse's mouth."

"Levi and I... Levi is... We're..." I stuttered, trying to spit it out to CJ.

"Eren's my boyfriend," Levi said flatly, taking my hand. CJ's eyes gleamed. "But, if you wanted to hear it straight from the horse's mouth, you should've asked Jean." I chuckled at Levi's joke, which made me feel comfortable enough to articulate sentences again.

"What was your guess?" I asked.

"I was not expecting boyfriend, but something along those lines, knowing Levi." Levi's jaw dropped playfully.

"You mean-"

"She means fuckbuddies," Levi interrupted bluntly. CJ cringed, but nodded.

"Oh." I felt a small wave of hurt tingle through my body. That did sound like something Levi would do. I couldn't think of any reason why I turned out any different. I nodded an affirmation too late, and Levi glared at CJ. 

"Yeah, you two balance each other out pretty well. I'm glad you two are getting along better. Gay people are the best. I would know. So would my girlfriend."

"I am not gay," Levi defended. CJ cocked an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I wouldn't say I'm gay either," I said.

"Fair enough. Yeah, I don't think it would have worked out if it had been anybody else."

"Armin," Levi coughed. I opened my mouth incredulously.

"Armin? What?" I exclaimed. 

"No, I get it Levi," CJ defended. "If it wasn't you, Armin would've pulled something eventually."

"You too, CJ? I thought I could trust you," I said dramatically, extending my free hand and placing my cuffed one over my heart. "What is it with you two and Armin?" Levi rolled his eyes before considering his response.

"Nothing important," Levi shook his head. "I got you now." I still wasn't quite over considering what made me different from a cut and dry fuckbuddy to Levi. "Is that all, CJ? We have phonecalls."

"Yeah, that's all. Have fun at home, Levi. See ya Eren." CJ turned around and walked to her obnoxiously red Subaru. She pulled out of the parking lot blaring some generic country song. She waved a final goodbye at the stop sign on the edge of our campus, pulling out of the tall gates that imprisoned us. I realized too little too late that I was in a mood. Levi caught on while we were walking back to the dorms to find Annie and the other students.

"Tell me," Levi commanded.

"You're so bossy sometimes, ya know? You act like some kind of dickhead army captain." Levi looked unimpressed.

"If anyone's a dickhead it's definitely you." He paused for a moment. "No, you're right, I would make a really good dickhead army captain. I would probably end up being an ass to your sister. But anyway, tell me what you're doing a shitty job at hiding from me." I didn't say anything. My fear seemed too embarrassing to say out loud. "You're not very good at this. If you're gonna try and keep your girly mood swings to yourself, do a better job. Or you could just tell me what the fuck is wrong with you." Levi was obviously not taking any of my bullshit.

"Hey, you're the one with girly mood swings. One minute, you're totally fine, the next you're kicking innocent trees."

"Stop stalling, Jaeger. You're pissing me off." I could tell Levi was getting angry. Normally the innocent trees bit would have at least gotten an amused eye roll.

"But it's embarrassing," I complained.

"That hasn't stopped you before." Levi looked like he wanted to say more but, he wisely kept his mouth shut.

"You're really being an asshole."

"What's new?"

"Why do you wanna know so bad anyway?" I was running out of excuses and comebacks. I would have to answer Levi soon.

"Do I need a reason to want to know what's going on with my boyfriend?" Levi was visibly frustrated.

I let out a long exhale. "I guess not. I was just wondering why I was special to you."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, CJ thought we were just fucking, which is not unusual for you. I was wondering why you wanted more from me." Levi's eyebrows drew together, deep in thought. I took that as a bad sign.

"In the beginning, that was all I wanted from you. You have a nice body, Jaeger." A light shade of pink dusted my cheeks. "But I realized that I felt safe around you. Like, I don't even know, but it was a kind of security I had never felt before. And as much as you think I'm the addicting one, you are definitely the addicting one. I have no idea how I'm even gonna handle a weekend away from you. And it isn't just the sex. You're just somebody I wanna keep around. I haven't ever cared if somebody stayed in my life before I met you. I hope that explained everything." I nodded. "Yeah, I haven't ever said that I love somebody before. Other than my mother. I remember very clearly being sick and laying in bed. She brought me a spoonful of honey and said something like, 'It's sweet like you!' when she fed it to me. I told her I loved her then." Levi paused, his eyes closed, deep in thought. "That had to be close to the end. Her eyes were tired and dull, and her hair was thinning out in the memory. I remember her big smile though. Huh. It must have taken a lot of effort to smile like that for me."

I nodded and took his hand, rubbing the back of it with my thumb. "That is a very valuable memory to have." Levi pressed his lips together and squeezed my hand. "What was she like?" Levi thought for a moment. His wistful expression was striking on his features.

"She was very charismatic, a people person. It made her good at her job, looking back at it. I guess I look a lot like her. That's what everybody says, at least. She loved partying. She was twenty two when I was born, so I kinda put a damper on her social life. Especially with the career she was pursuing. She had a lot of friends, some were her clients, who would watch me, though. All my 'Aunties' and 'Uncles' would try to watch me as long as I was convenient. I was alone a lot though. But, she made a point to take Sundays off to spend time with me. She called them Mommy Days. She would take me to a park, or to ice cream, or whatever. Whatever it was, we had a blast. I always looked forward to Sunday. I know that she tried so hard to be a good mom. It feels weird that I can remember all this shit from when I was three and four. She died right before my fifth birthday. I remember when she told me she was sick, I told her that I would make her better, and give her a spoonful of honey." He smiled a sad smile. "But I learned that a spoonful of honey doesn't fix everything."

"I guess not," I choked, my words strangling me with a lump in my throat I didn't even know I had. "I'm glad she was a decent mom. I'm so sorry."

"It's fine. She's been dead thirteen years almost to the day. I can talk about her just fine. I'll show you a picture of us sometime."

"What was her name?" 

"Kuchel Ackerman. I don't know if she had a middle name or not. Kenny doesn't talk about her, and as I got older, her friends stopped visiting me, so I couldn't ask them anymore. By the time I was eight, all I had was Kenny."

"Wow. That's hard." Levi shook his head.

"You get used to it. It doesn't seem hard anymore after a while. Kenny taught me lots of things. He taught me how to fight, and how to take care of myself. It all ended up being pretty important. Kenny isn't all bad. He helped me a lot when my mom died. He took me in. He didn't have to do that. Then he inherited all that money and the estate from his grandfather when he died. He let me stay with him. He fed me, clothed me, put me through school. I understand why he doesn't like me all that much, because he tried to convince my mom to get an abortion and she didn't. I think he blames me for her death. But that's fair. I blame me too." I didn't realize that we had stopped walking. I looked up at the cold sky. The grey had small patches of blue in them, but nothing to speak of.

"Levi. You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't kill your mom."

"If I hadn't been born, she might have had enough money to get better medical treatment. She could've saved herself. I wonder if she would have kept me if she had known she was gonna die."

"I know she would have. That's how moms are. Of course she would have kept you."

"I wouldn't have kept me. Think about it. I ruined whatever was left of her life. Even if she would have died anyways, she would have had a lot more fun those last few years." I was astonished. I hadn't realized how deep Levi's trauma and self hatred ran.

"How can you say that?" Levi was silent. "I love you so much. I don't know what to do to make this better."

"You can't. This has nothing to do with you. But that is why I wonder if I'm bad for you. I've got all this baggage and shit. People shouldn't have to deal with my shit with me."

"But that's the whole point, Levi. We bear each other's burdens. That's what love is. Accepting everything about another person, even their shortcomings and loving them anyway."

"I just, I've always seen love as conditional. I don't know if my heart can comprehend unconditional love."

"I'll bet it can. I'll make it comprehend," I vowed, turning and tipping Levi's head up towards my face and gently kissing him. He kissed back, but I could feel hesitation. He pulled back too soon.

"We should catch up with Hawthorn. We need to find them for phonecalls." I nodded as we started walking again towards the dorms.


	27. Chapter 26: (Levi's P.O.V) Old Friends

The morning came too soon and around five in the morning, the transport staff, Morrie, shook me. I was already awake, but I didn't feel like moving. I didn't want to leave Eren, who was snoring softly. It was a comforting sound. 

"Levi, wake up," Morrie whispered. I shot her a glare and she left the room quietly. I swiftly leapt off the top bunk, my landing making hardly any noise. I was trying my hardest not to wake up my boyfriend, knowing waking him up would only make it harder for me to leave. I grabbed my backpack and suitcase, headed for the door. I paused, feeling like I had forgotten something. I realized that it just felt weird to not be attached to Eren anymore. I turned around with a sigh and ever so quietly crept over to Eren's bed. I bent down and lightly kissed his forehead. Even though he was asleep, a small smile turned that brat's mouth up and he let out a happy hum. I scoffed and walked out. The air was brisk and I shivered a little at the chill it delivered. The drive was quiet and Morrie knew better than to talk to me this early in the morning. She handed me my phone as I left the car with my bags and ticket. I was flying from the small airport near where I lived to the Charlotte Airport and then direct to JFK. The airport was quiet, but somehow, the lines were still long enough to be annoying. The flight to Charlotte was less than thirty minutes and didn't give me much time to think. I was looking forward for the long layover in Charlotte and the even longer flight to New York.

I had two hours during my layover to think. Mostly I thought about Eren. I scrolled through the social media apps on my phone, trying to catch up on what I had missed with my friends. It proved to be pretty useless considering that it had been six months since the last time I had tried to update myself. I missed too much for scrolling through posts to have any relevance. Eventually, the scrolling and swiping became pretty mindless and my mind wandered back to Eren. I closed my eyes and a huge, adorable blush crossed the image of Eren in my mind.

I tried to distract myself by pulling out a book and starting to read, but I couldn't picture the main character correctly. Eren's features kept invading the way I had pictured the main character. I gave up on reading pretty quickly and popped in some earbuds, blasting obscene rap music at potentially deafening volumes. I texted one of my friends.

_Petra_. There was a long pause before she responded.

_ OMG. LEVI! HI!  _

_ I'm coming to town for the weekend. Wanna hang out? _

_ Sure. What time are you coming? _

_ Like four or five hours. _

_Awesome. I'm at school rn so I can't talk. Lmk when you get home._ I rolled my eyes at her lame excuse. Since when was Petra a scholar?

_ Okay. Have fun learning. _

_I will. Ttyl._

I decided that coffee would make my life better, so I bought an incredibly overpriced coffee at an airport kiosk and returned to my gate. The plane had landed early so we boarded and took off about an hour ahead of schedule. I was seated next to some obnoxious teenage girl with pigtails and an awful pink dress. She couldn't stop staring at me for the life of her. Luckily I had the window seat, so I didn't have to deal with two strangers to torment me. And then she opened her mouth.

"Where are you going?" She asked. I rolled my eyes.

"New York. Aren't we all?"

"No. I'm going to Europe."

"Whoopdie fuckin' do. Good for you, kid." She chuckled, batting her eyelashes.

"Hey you're really cute, can I get your number?" I blinked, taken aback. That was forward if I've ever seen it.

"Sorry I'm taken. And I'm probably too old for you, anyway."

"I'm sixteen." Wow. Persistent. This was gonna be a long flight. I thought about how Eren was sixteen and a pang of loneliness shot through my body. I thought about how weird it is that emotions have physical effects on you. 

"I am taken."

"Really? What's her name?" She wanted to play that way.

"His name is Eren." She looked startled by the double bomb I dropped. The name and the fact that he's a guy.

"Oh."

"Yup, oh is right. Can I listen to my music now? Or do you have another invasive question for a complete stranger at seven in the morning?" I was so sick of other people. I just wanted Eren. I thought about the night before I left. His phonecall with his mom. She picked up on the first ring.

"Hey, Eren."

"Hi, Mom," his voice echoed in my memory. It held the kind of innocence that was keeping me from getting high again. I would never tell him, but I stopped smoking with Hanji because I wanted to be more like Eren.

"How are you, sweetie?"

"Good. I actually have to talk to you about something." Eren had a nervous look on his face that made him look eight years younger. Like he was about to tell her he broke her favorite vase.

"What is it?" 

"You were right." 

"I'm right about a lot of things. What were you referring to specifically?" Eren's face fell when he realized he would have to elaborate, but I was happy, because I wanted to see where this was going.

"About Levi." My jaw dropped. "I- I love him." I was speechless, but my insides heated up to insane temperatures and butterflies flitted around. One of those rare blushes warmed my face. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"I had a feeling that there was subconscious affection there. I'm no therapist, but it was glaringly obvious to your mom."

"I knew it!" Eren's older sister yelled over the phone. I was certain I was wearing a stupid grin on my face, causing it to turn an even deeper shade of red. Luckily, Eren was pretty absorbed in his call and didn't seem to notice.

"Don't tell Trevor."

"I won't, honey. Enjoy your first love. I'm just sorry it's gonna be so hard on the 29th. Saying goodbye is hard."

"Yeah," Eren sighed. His expression was so sad. Like it was over on the 29th. I had to think of something to keep us together. During the rest of the phone call I had brainstormed ideas of how to keep Eren by my side after he moved back out west. Two awesome thoughts came up. They were risky and forward, but for Eren, I realized I was willing to make the leap. How much I loved that tall, skinny brat kept slamming into me like a ton of bricks until it wasn't even a question anymore. I was going to do both of the ideas, and keep it a secret from Eren.

I pretended to be asleep during the flight to keep the girl from talking to me again. I didn't want to say anything I would regret. I ended up actually sleeping for the last stretch of the flight, not realizing that I was even capable of napping anymore, let alone on a plane. The plane touched down and made my way outside. The snow was everywhere. I wished I lived in a warmer climate. I blew a breath of visible steam and looked for my ride. I finally found the family's chauffeur holding a sign with my name on it. I waved and he loaded my bags into the trunk of the black Mercedes Benz. I climbed into the back seat and grabbed a water out of the cooler.

"Hey Mario."

"Hello, young Mr. Ackerman. How was your flight?"

"Really annoying chick sat by me, but other than that, pretty uneventful. I actually slept some, so that was pretty cool."

"That's good, Mr. Ackerman. Your uncle instructed me to take you to the house, is that alright with you?" I nodded and he took off in the direction of my house. I didn't see my uncle's car in the driveway. I shrugged and assumed that he was at work. Thanking Mario, I grabbed my bags and headed to the upstairs of the old mansion. I opened the door to my room and my best friend, formerly with benefits, Petra was laying in my bed watching Netflix.

"Levi! You scared the shit outta me!" Petra sprang up and pulled me into a tight hug. I hugged her back, noticing the differences between hugging a girl's body and a boy's body. I silently decided that I preferred the latter. 

"Hey, kid." I said, patting her back.

"Hey chill with the kid, you're like three months older than me." She pulled away from me. 

"Respect your elders."

Petra giggled. She was also wearing next to nothing, which was usual for her. Especially in my house. Winter didn't deter her in the slightest. "Oof, you need a haircut, boo. Let's go do that," she said running her fingers through my hair. I nodded and promised Eren that I would remain loyal to him.

She drove us to the nearest mall in her bright red convertible. She slowed to a stop in front of a red light. I looked over at her. Her light auburn hair was pulled into a probably intentionally messy bun. She was wearing a shirt that looked more like a glorified piece of lingerie and a denim skirt so short that I could look right up if I wanted to. But the thing was, I didn't. Not anymore. She blushed and smiled coyly when she caught me looking. I knew nothing would happen, because we were both taken by different people, but the look in her eyes scared the shit out of me.


	28. Chapter 27: (Levi's P.O.V.) Temptations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you hate Petra right now, but I promise she will become the real MVP later on in this story ;)

We made it to the mall in time for the appointment Petra had scheduled. The receptionist led us into the back and sat me next to a small leather couch, where Petra sat. She crossed her legs and smiled up at me. I knew the smile well. She was trying to breech the subject of hooking up. I smiled back, pretending to be oblivious. I would talk to her later, if I had to. I got a quick trim and got my undercut shaved again. The whole ordeal took maybe fifteen minutes. We left the salon and wandered around the mall for a while, mostly window shopping.

"So I broke up with Dylan." That explained it.

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that." I didn't meet her eyes, but somehow, her big doe eyes met mine.

"It's okay. He was kind of a jerk."

"So am I."

"Yeah, but not in the same way he was."

"I see."

"So if you're not doing anything tonight, I was thinking maybe we could..." She trailed off suggestively and slowly interlaced her fingers with mine.

"Uh, Petra, I'm with somebody." I pulled my hand away. She looked up at me with big brown eyes.

"What?"

"I am with somebody, Petra." She blinked.

"Who?"

"Somebody from my school," I muttered, not wanting to make her feel bad by going into too much detail.

"But that's an all-boys school." She looked confused.

"Yeah, it is." I nodded as we left the mall and started for the parking garage. She shivered, and I draped my jacket over her shoulders. She looked up and smirked at me.

"That's right, you have hooked up with guys before," she paused, contemplating. "But if, he's anything like you and I were, then he shouldn't mind you having fun on the weekend." She planted a kiss on my neck. I stopped dead in my tracks. I could feel the self loathing start to wash over me. My optimism had screwed me over again. I had let this happen.

"Look, he isn't like how you and I were. I told him I love him, Petra." Her eyes grew to the size of saucers.

"But you've never said that to anybody before. Did you mean it?"

"Of course I fucking meant it. I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it. I haven't even said that to you. I love you is fucking sacred. I don't just throw it around like most people fucking do. Petra, you're my best friend and I haven't said that to you." I didn't know why I was getting angry. I tried to calm down, and took her hand and dragged her to her car in the garage.

"Wh- What are you gonna do?" She asked when I pinned her to the car. Even I wasn't sure. 

"Please," I pleaded. "Please don't tempt me, Petra. I don't want to cheat on Eren. I love him so much." I was being such a pathetic little bitch. I should have put on my big boy pants and handled it my fucking self. But I wasn't that strong. I planted my forehead onto her shoulder and she wrapped her arms around me. She gently patted my back while I thought about what a fucking pansy I was. How could I not be strong enough without Eren there with me? I had watched my mother fucking die and I couldn't be loyal to the one I love. I pictured him in my mind. The tears in his eyes when I tell him I fucked up. I pulled away from her and she smiled at me.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to violate. Yeah, I won't try anything. You were really sweet about it when I started dating Dylan. But I doubt you'll cheat on him, Levi. You love him."

"I know I won't cheat, but you know all my weaknesses, so you probably could get me to do stuff with you if you wanted to. I'm saying don't."

"So no drinking, smoking, or partying in general." I let out a sigh. 

"If that's what it takes. I love him so much, Petra. I am such a bad boyfriend."

"Hey, no you aren't. You stopped me, Levi." Petra hugged me. "You, got this, boo. Now quit feeling sorry for yourself and pull your head out of your ass and let's get in the car. I'm so fucking cold." She rubbed her arms and pulled the sleeves of my jacket over her hands. "I am sure he won't be mad. It's not even something you need to mention. It wasn't you doing anything. Tell me about him. What's his name?" She unlocked her car and we got in.

"His name is Eren. He's sixteen." She started the engine and pulled out of the parking space.

"That's a little young isn't it?" I nodded. 

"Yeah, but he's different, Petra." She slowed the car as she pulled out of the parking garage. She looked at me out of the corner of her eye.

"Why do you love him?" She pulled onto the main road, being careful not to hit anything with all the ice on the roads. "How does that work for you? Like how does love feel to you, because I honestly thought you were incapable of love. Sorry, just being honest."

"First of all, ouch. Rude. Second, so did I. And then I fell hard for Eren. It isn't just a sex thing because if it was, I would have loved a whole bunch of other people. It's something I can't put into words. He just makes me happy in a way that nobody but my mom ever has. I never want to be away from him. This weekend is gonna be torture. I have no idea how I'm gonna handle him going back to California. I want him all to myself, and whenever I'm around him, I get this weird fuzzy feeling. I would do anything for him and probably kill myself if I ever hurt him again."

"Woah. Levi. I don't know what to say." She was quiet for a minute. "Well. It sounds to me like he might be the one. That sounds really weird, considering we're all still kids. What do you plan on doing when he leaves?" I told her the two ideas I had been running through my mind. 

"Would they be good ideas? Do you think they'd work?"

She sighed slowly. "Yeah. I do, if you think it isn't too forward. It just seems like it's moving a little fast. If you're 100% solid in this relationship, then it probably isn't too much of a leap." 

"I don't think it is. I just want Eren to know that he's mine and no amount of distance could ever touch us."

"I think I understand. In fact, I think I can help you." She smiled at me as we drove on.

"Really?" I asked. I was desperate for anybody's help.

"Of course. You do this kind of thing for your best friend, or anybody you love, really."


	29. Chapter 28: A Weekend Alone

I woke up to an empty room. Levi was gone. I tried to ignore the emptiness in the pit of my stomach while I sat up and stretched. I shuffled to the dresser and pulled out some clothes. I grabbed a pair of threadbare skinny jeans and a shirt from Levi's drawer. I brought the shirt to my face and breathed in Levi's scent. This was going to be a long weekend. I finished grabbing my clothes and walked to the shower. I quickly washed myself and got out, not wanting time to think about how much I missed Levi. I got out of the shower and realized I had forgotten to wash the shampoo out of my hair. I got back in and finished up, internally cursing my weird daze. After getting dressed, I stepped out of the shower room. I put on a beanie and jacket before heading out to the mess hall. I jumped when my bare feet hit the cold ground. I had forgotten shoes. I darted back inside and put shoes and socks on. I felt like a mess. 

I put shoes on and then started for the mess hall once again. I was about halfway there when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I spun around to see Armin, followed by Jean and Marco. "Eren!" Armin smiled. 

"Bro that was hilarious," Jean snickered. "You fuckin' walking out without shoes or socks on."

"Be nice," Marco gently chided.

"You really are freckled Jesus," Jean admitted.

"You know you love me," Marco smiled.

"I read my scriptures every day. I take my worship very seriously," Jean chuckled, winking and licking his lips. Marco turned an odd shade of pink and Armin took the silence to start talking to me.

"Eren, it's good to be able to talk to you again." I nodded. "I really missed you."

"You too, Armin." He smiled a warm smile.

"Do you miss Levi?" Armin asked.

"Yeah, Loverboy, do you miss him?" Jean prodded.

"Isn't that his shirt?" Marco added. Jean's eyebrows shot up.

"Yeah, it is. And yeah, I miss him like crazy."

"That's kinda hot, wearing his shit around like that." Jean turned to Marco. "When I go on home visits, you should wear my clothes."

"We'll see," Marco chirped. "Armin, do you have anyone special?" Armin blushed.

"It better not be fucking Sean. I'll kill that bastard," Jean joked. Armin shook his head fervently, laughing a disturbed laugh.

"No. Not Sean."

"Ew, why did you give me that image, Jean?!" I cringed, rubbing my eyes dramatically. We reached the Mess Hall and grabbed our breakfast, sitting down at our mostly empty dorm table. Weekends were really relaxed and unscheduled compared to our weekdays. We had no scheduled wake up, and unless our dorm had an outing, we had basically no responsibilities. 

"So if it isn't Sean, then who is it?" Marco asked, his eyes bright with curiosity. 

"If what isn't me?" Sean asked, sitting down awkwardly between me and Jean with his cereal. All of us groaned at Sean.

"Long story," I answered automatically. Sean rolled his eyes.

"I have time, bitches." He took a bite of his cereal. "You can't just say my name and not expect me to ask." Marco explained the mentioning of Sean's name and Sean nodded. "I've never tried it on with a guy before, but if you really want it, Arlert."

"Gross!" I complained. "Armin does not want to try it on with you. Please excuse me while I go drink bleach."

"It's not like any of us don't know about Levi," Sean said, lowering his voice.

"That is true," Armin commented.

"Speaking of knowing about Levi," I began, "why haven't you snitched on us, Sean? You're the biggest snitch at this school."

"Yeah, you haven't snitched on us either," Jean added. "What are you hiding?" He looked Sean up and down and snickered.

"N-nothing! Why do you even care?!" Sean defended loudly. A huge blush grew on his cheeks.

"Who is it?" Marco asked. 

"Spill the tea!" Armin yelled. Sean cupped a hand over Armin's mouth.

"Shut the fuck up," Sean whisper-yelled. He groaned, rolling his eyes. "Nobody says a word." We all crossed our hearts.

"Go on," Armin pushed.

"What if I told you I was with a staff member?" Everybody gasped collectively.

"Who?!" Jean asked a little too loudly.

"Shh! Somebody will hear!" Sean scolded, flicking the top of Jean's head. "Annie," he mouthed. Our jaws hit the floor.

"What?!" Marco and I asked in unison. Sean shot us a look. I thought about Annie. She was objectively pretty, but also in her mid twenties at least.

"Damn, she's a cougar?" I asked. Sean nodded. "Never woulda guessed." Sean shrugged, blushing hard.

"How did that start?" Armin asked.

"Spill. The. Tea." Marco demanded.

"Yeah, you dirty man," Jean said sarcastically. "Tell us." Sean sighed, knowing we wouldn't stop prying.

"Fine. I was up late and she was doing notes and I guess she had brought a flask, so she was a little tipsy. I started talking to her, and she gave me some whiskey and we started talking about our lives. I'm horny as fuck when I'm drunk, so I was like, 'kiss me.' And she did more than kiss me. And now we hook up when she works night shifts. She's fucking hot, guys." All of us were speechless. All we could do was blink. Marco dropped his spoon into the bowl, causing a small splash.

"Are we the only dorm with this many illegal relationships, or are the other dorms just as bad as we are?" Armin asked.

"The other dorms are for kids with different problems, so I doubt it," Jean replied.

"True," I agreed, drinking the last of my milk out of my bowl and wiping my mouth. "Isn't ours, like unhealthy addictions and self harm?"

"Yeah," Marco nodded. "I smoked cigs."

"Alcoholic," Jean and Sean said in unison. "And sex," Jean added.

"Oddly enough, I was a stoner," Armin smiled.

"Really?" Jean asked, incredulous. Armin nodded.

"I also was bulimic," Armin said shyly. I put my arm around him, lightly squeezing him. I returned my arm to my side. I froze, realizing it was my turn and all eyes were on me.

"Uh, I partied, drank, popped pills, you name it. I also had an eating disorder."

"What did Levi do?" Sean prodded. "Why's he in this dorm? He seems like he should be in Rowan or Juniper." Rowan was for violence and bullying, and Juniper was for the snooty kids that thought they were God or some shit. Also reactive attachment disorder and sexaholics.

"Rude. I'm not telling. That's his business," I said, shutting him down.

"Please," Jean begged.

"If he says no, Jean, he means no," Marco scolded.

"Whatever, babe." I sighed with relief and nodded a thank you to Marco. He grinned sweetly. We cleared our bowls and returned to the dorm's common room and found our staff.


	30. Chapter 29: Truth or Dare

"Are your rooms clean?" Annie asked when we were all sitting down. We all nodded and Jean snickered. Sean's ears turned bright pink.

"Let's play a game, guys," Jean suggested. We all sat in a circle on the ground. "Annie, you in?" Annie rolled her cold blue eyes and sat cross legged on the floor with us.

"I suppose. What game, you little shits?" Her eyes shot daggers at all of us.

"Truth or Dare!" Armin yelled. Nods of consent ensued after Armin commented.

"Dirty Truth or Dare!" I one upped. Jean held his hand up and I smacked it with mine.

"Dear Lord," Annie groaned. "This should be interesting."

"Okay, I'll go first," Jean said. "Sean, Truth or Dare?" Sean groaned. "Pick Dare," Jean whispered, winking at Sean.

"Fine, dare." Jean smiled evilly. 

"Make out with Annie." Sean and Annie's eyes grew to the size of saucers. "Sean! Sean! Sean!" Jean started chanting. Soon, everybody playing was chanting Sean's name. Eventually, Annie pulled Sean's face to hers, smashing their mouths together. She stuck her tongue in Sean's mouth and pinned him to the ground. Sean's hands rested on Annie's lower back, and Annie started pulling Sean's hair. Chants of "Sean" quickly turned to chants of "Annie" as she dominated the kiss completely. She pulled back, both of them breathing heavily. Sean's face resembled a tomato.

"That was hot," Jean commented, the corners of his mouth turned down, impressed. We all nodded reverently. "Okay, pass right." Marco was up."

"Armin, Truth or Dare?" Armin paused, considering his options.

"Dare."

"I dare you to tell me the truth."

"That's not how that works!" Armin whined.

"It is now. Who are you into?"

"Just give me a dare!" Armin exploded, his voice high and shrill.

"Okay, I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room." Marco folded his arms, a smug smile on his face. He wiggled his eyebrows.

"Nice one, babe," Jean said, wrapping his arm around Marco. Marco chuckled politely.

"You said it was dirty," he responded before a heavy silence filled the room. Armin stood up and ran over to the light switch. He flicked it off and I could hear his footsteps lightly thudding back to the circle. The next thing I knew, I felt soft lips on my cheek. My eyes shot open. I stayed silent until the light flicked back on.

"I dare whoever got kissed to raise their hand," Sean demanded. Armin turned bright red.

"W-wait, that isn't how that works!" Armin exclaimed as I slowly raised my hand. Armin shot me a look and I simply shrugged in response. 

"Ha!" Jean scoffed. "I coulda guessed that." I could feel some sort of emotion, not quite anger, but something similar, bubbling up. Then a realization smacked me across the face.

"Levi was right!" I gasped. "Fucking CJ, too." Everybody turned to me.

"Right about what, Jaeger Bomb?" Jean asked, raising his eyebrows. I rolled my eyes at Jean.

"Armin." I answered simply. "They warned me and I didn't listen. They said you were into me. I wasn't worried though, because you are my best friend, and I figured you were afraid of losing that or some shit like that." Armin's face flushed. He looked like he had spent too long in the sun. His skin was bright pink and his eyes were bloodshot all of a sudden. He looked like he had popped a vessel.

"I am so sorry!" Armin cried. He wrapped his arms around my neck. I flinched, but let it happen. I awkwardly patted his back. "I didn't mean to come between you and Levi and I don't wanna ruin our friendship. I really hope you don't hate me now, but I could see how you might -"

"Armin shut the fuck up. You didn't get in between me and Le vi. I'm not even that fucking mad. I don't hate you, Jesus Christ Armin. I'll only be fucking mad if you make this awkward."

"Are you gonna tell him?" Armin asked. 

"Levi?" I asked. Armin nodded, his eyes wide. "I have to tell him, Armin."

"He'll kill me," Armin whined. "I am so sorry, Eren."

"He won't kill you," I promised.

"I don't know about that, Jaeger Bomb," Jean commented. I rolled my eyes. "Levi's fuckin' scary."

"Is this gonna be a thing? This whole Jaeger Bomb nonsense?" I asked.

"Fuck yeah, Jaeger Bomb. I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner." He high fived Sean and I rolled my eyes so hard it hurt.

"Whatever, Horseface." I retorted. Jean snickered and squeezed Marco closer. He whispered something into Marco's ear and Marco's eyes looked like they were about to pop out of their sockets.

"Jean! You can't say that!" Marco's face was immediately bright red and his expression was a mix of terror and amusement.

"What'd he say?" Sean finally asked, reading all of our minds. Marco blushed and shook his head.

"I said that my face isn't the only thing that gets compared to a horse." I blinked while Armin gagged, revolted. Annie squirmed awkwardly and Sean started busting up. Marco looked like he wanted to disappear. I chuckled quietly at the horrified expression on his innocent face. Armin turned to me.

"Don't let Levi kill me."

"Oh my fucking God, Armin. If you don't stop, I will kill you."

"He'll have my head, Eren." Armin pleaded. A thought crossed my mind. Knowing Armin, the only way to get him to stop would be to be mean.

"Speaking of heads, or more specifically, head. See that bathroom, right there, Armin?" Armin nodded coyly. "I gave Levi head in the back stall." Armin's jaw dropped and his eyes became enormous. "Are you done now, Armin?" He turned an odd color and nodded quickly. "Good," I said, standing and excusing myself to my bedroom to hide away. Nobody followed me, and I was happy to be alone. I only thought about how much I was missing Levi. I flopped onto my bed and popped in some earbuds. I started blaring depressing rap songs by dead musicians, and trying to fall asleep without crying. I internally started cussing myself out for being such a wuss.


	31. Chapter 30: Cover Your Mouth

"I fucking missed you, Eren," Levi whispered into my ear from behind, wrapping his arms around my waist. He kissed the nape of my neck and I shivered at the feeling of his lips on my skin. He started slowly, but intentionally lowering his hands, taking mine into his. He lowered our hands further so that they were just barely grazing my waistband. I shivered again and he softly snickered. I decided that I was fed up with his teasing, pulling my hands away from him and placing my hands on the outside of his, leading them down into my pants. His fingers instinctively wrapped around my dick and he began slightly pushing his hips into my back. I mindlessly jolted back when his fingers brushed the tip. My back slammed into Levi's hips and he let out a sharp hiss. "Fuck." I realized what I had done and then, instead of stopping, I started grinding my ass into Levi's growing boner. "Ah-" he gasped at my movements and started stroking my dick. I decided that I wanted to try something new. I spun around and crashed my lips into his, tackling him to the bed. I was gonna ride him, I decided. I started pulling on the zipper of his pants when he pulled back. "Eren, are you trying to top?" I froze. I hadn't expected him to ask that. I thought for a second about Levi on my dick for a change.

"I wouldn't know what to do," I murmured, shaking my head.

"I could ride you," Levi suggested, stealing my idea. My stomach dropped and I could feel tingles shoot through my body at the thought of Levi riding me. "I'll take that look as a yes?" I hadn't realized I was practically drooling at the thought of the change of plans. I nodded hastily, and Levi rolled me over so that he was on my lap. He got off of me and pulled my pants down before taking his off as well. He took off his shirt and I took in the beauty of his body. He looked like a marble sculpture, standing there, waiting for me to take my shirt off. I took it off and threw it aside. Levi climbed onto my lap again, looking down at me. I gave him three of my fingers, putting them near his mouth. "I don't want a prep, Eren." I moaned at the thought of going in dry, how that would hurt, but that even the pain would feel good with Levi. Levi lifted off of me and started lowering himself onto me.

"Ah! Levi!" I panted, moaning at the pressure on the tip of my dick, but Levi was distracted, obviously in pain. He gritted his teeth and pushed further onto me. I couldn't get enough of the squeezing all around my throbbing member. "Jesus Christ."

"Ere-ngh. Kiss me. Ha-ah." I sat up as far as I could and pulled Levi's mouth into mine. He stuck his tongue into my mouth before I could protest. I sucked on his tongue and he moaned loudly into the kiss. He started grinding on me, moving on my dick. I gripped his hips, digging my fingers into the soft flesh there. I thrusted up into him, needing more friction and he moaned loudly, almost screaming. "There, Eren! Right there." I slammed it over and over again, closing my eyes and kissing him again. I could feel myself getting close. Levi's muscles clenched around me and my eyes shot open.

The room around me was dark, and my heavy breathing was the only sound. I reached for Levi, but all I found was an empty bed. The digital clock on the nightstand read 4:42 AM unapologetically. I groaned and rolled over, realizing I would have to take care of the painfully stiff boner chafing on my underwear. I cussed my mind out for giving me such vivid dreams while I shuffled to the bathroom. 

  
  


I reached the bathroom, and sorted everything out very quickly because of how close I was when I woke up, but I still had to close my eyes and think of Levi in order to finish. I wiped everything down and started back for my room. As I was passing the showers, I heard interesting noises coming from one of the shower stalls. I recognized the voices almost immediately, quickening my steps to my bedroom. I plugged my ears, but not before I heard Marco moan Jean's name. I rolled my eyes as I fell back asleep, thinking about Jean giving me and Levi shit about making too much noise.


	32. Chapter 31: Migraines

I woke up again at around eleven in the morning, having slept on and off for the past twenty four hours. I sat up and sighed, feeling a terrible pressure throbbing behind my eyes. I pinched the bridge of my nose, used to the feeling of migraines, but usually only during a hangover. The light shining through a gap in the curtains was almost too much for my eyes. I walked to the dresser, not bothering to shower, and just changed into my clothes right there. I slid on some shoes and walked into the common room.

"Woah, you look like shit, Eren," Jean remarked, his arm in its usual spot around Marco.

"Yeah, I feel like shit, too," I replied, plopping onto the couch next to him.

"Everything okay?" Armin and Marco asked in unison, looking over at each other. "Jinx!" they said together again. I pinched my eyes shut and tipped my head back. The headache only got worse.

"I just have this awful headache all of a sudden," I said. "I only ever get migraines like this when I'm hungover, so I don't know what's going on right now."

"Drink a little too much last night, Jaeger Bomb?" Jean joked. Annoyance pricked at me, creating a new edge to my headache.

"I am not in the mood for this right now, Jean," I said as politely as I could.

"Maybe what Jaeger Bomb needs is a nap and some Tylenol ."

"I slept for the last twenty four hours, Jean. I think a nap would do me more harm than good." I couldn't deny however, that the feeling of having my eyes closed was exponentially better than keeping them open.

"I disagree. If your headache is this bad, I would ask the staff for a Tylenol and then go back to sleep," Armin countered.

"Who's on shift?" I asked. 

"Jacob," Marco answered. "I'm sure he'll let you sleep 'till you feel better." He smiled a warm smile at me. I nodded and smiled back, thinking about what a good friend group I had.

I yawned, still partly out of it, and said, "I love you guys."

"Woah, Jaeger Bomb, I'm taken," Jean joked. "Get some rest and you'll be all over Levi when he gets back." I didn't have the energy to throw a quip back at Jean. I stood and almost lost my balance from a strong bout of vertigo. I started for Jacob, who was thankfully still in the med station.

"Hey, I have a really bad headache. Can I have an Ibuprofen and go back to sleep?" I asked as best I could. I still had no clue what was causing the headache, I just knew that I wanted it gone.

"Sure 'Ren." He reached into a cupboard and grabbed a couple of pink pills, handing them to me. I popped them into my mouth and swallowed the pills dry. "Feel better, man." I walked back to my bed and climbed between the sheets. I let my mind wander, and as much as I tried to avoid Levi, he was all I could think about.

Thoughts of him were louder than any other murmurs my mind could produce. I couldn't sleep, being fully rested, so I was left with nothing but a cold bed, a pounding headache, and thoughts of my absent boyfriend.


	33. Chapter 32: Oversleeping

I woke up and the sky was dark. The migraine was still pounding my head and I felt weak. I thought for a while, wondering why it hadn't gone away. I realized I hadn't drank any water or eaten hardly anything at all the whole weekend. No wonder I had a headache. I got up and filled a plastic cup to the brim with water, quickly gulping it all down. I refilled it and drained it a couple of times, until my throat wasn't dry anymore.

"Eren?" I heard a voice say. I spun around and Armin was leaning against the wall, his eyes wide and his arms crossed. His blonde hair was ruffled and his eyes were tired.

"What time is it?" I asked, my voice hoarse and my mouth dry. He wasn't wearing a shirt, but his fragile looking arms covered his boyish figure. He held his place in a thick book with his thumb. "What day is it?"

"Like four in the morning on Sunday. Why are you awake?" His baggy pajama bottoms exposed the waistband of his boxers.

"I should be asking you the same question." 

"I was reading, if you must know," Armin said. "You're loud footsteps told me you were coming." I shrugged.

"I was thirsty," I answered. "So I was getting water."

"Yeah, thirsty for Levi," Armin joked. I rolled my eyes and started for my room again, not tired in the slightest.

"Hey, can I chill with you? I'm not tired anymore," I asked Armin, who I was almost certain was still listening.

"Sure. It's gonna be pretty boring. I'm at a good part in my book," Armin answered.

"You could chill in my room, cuz there aren't any roommates to wake up."

"Yeah, okay." Armin followed me to my bedroom, both of us making sure not to make a sound. I sat on my bed and Armin sat on the floor across from me. He pulled something out of his pocket and put it on his head. The light now illuminating the room told me he had a head lamp. I popped in some earbuds and started listening to some soft, lofi beats while Armin silently read. The scene before me wasn't how I was accustomed to hanging out with people, usually partying and drinking, or at least talking to one another. Something about the energy of the room put me at ease, despite the foreignness of it. We spent a few hours just sitting in silence, enjoying each other's presence. I had missed this kid while the intervention was going on.

When the sky started to turn grey with the rising sun, Armin stood and closed his book. "I finished."

"The whole book?" I exclaimed quietly. Armin nodded. "I don't know how you do it, man."

"It's called, look at the words and read them." I rolled my eyes. "I should go sleep. So should you. Wouldn't wanna be grumpy when Levi gets back." I nodded and Armin left without another word.

I dozed off, hoping that my sleeping schedule would eventually return to normal.


	34. Chapter 33: Welcome Back

Sunday was relatively uneventful, which was nice considering my head was clouded with excitement anticipating Levi's return. The only downside was that my dorm had Kitchen Cleanup Duty. We had it every Sunday, and so after dinner, we all retreated to the enormous professional-grade kitchen. Connie darted out to collect the bus bins and Jean and Sean were arguing about who would rinse the dishes and load them into the dishwasher and who would dry them and put them away. Armin quietly slinked off so that he could bag the leftovers without too much protest. Peter and the others handled the details like wiping down surfaces and sanitizing. I left to go bag the food with Armin and clean the counters and tables, but as I was leaving the kitchen, Reagan grabbed my shoulder, pulling me towards him. People were beginning to finish up, and I wanted to get a chore done so that I wouldn't have to help Rowan the next day. 

"Eren, why don't you do sweeping and mopping instead?" Reagan said. I hated sweep and mop, because it meant that I had to stay and finish up while everybody else got to go back to the dorms.

"Naw, it looks like Marco is on it," I replied. Reagan's expression was unamused. 

"You're kinda dense sometimes, Jaeger. Just take that chore from Marco. I won't ask again." I groaned and walked up to Marco.

"Hey, Marco, Reagan said I have to finish sweeping for you." 

"Alright, not gonna argue that," Marco said skeptically handing me the pushbroom. Almost immediately afterwards, Reagan spoke, addressing the dorm as a whole.

"Okay, Hawthorn, we're gonna go back to the dorms. Get your stuff. Eren, come back when you're finished with your chores." I groaned and nodded as the rest of my dorm trickled out of the mess hall. I began sweeping quietly, collecting all of the things people had dropped. I had almost finished sweeping when I heard the door to the mess hall open and click shut. I spun around and saw my dark haired boyfriend stumble in, absolutely soaking.

"Levi!" I darted over to him and wrapped my arms around him. He squeezed me back tightly, burying his face in my chest.

"Is that my shirt?" Levi asked, amused. I had completely forgotten that I had put on one of Levi's shirts that morning. I blushed a deep red.

"No," I lied weakly. "Why are you all wet?"

"Why do you think Jaeger? God jizzed on my head. It's raining, dumbass." Levi said sarcastically.

"Wow," I responded equally sarcastically. "Not even your boyfriend escapes the wrath of your sarcasm." 

"Not a chance, Jaeger," Levi joked before quickly kissing me. He pulled back and I got a good look at his face. There was a deep purple bruise on his cheekbone, marring his otherwise perfect face.

"What's that?" I asked, caressing his cheek. Levi shook his head.

"Tell you later. For now, Reagan sent me here to help your slow ass finish up chores." Then the reason Reagan made me take sweep and mop struck me. 

"I'm such a dumbass!" I said, thinking out loud.

"Well, yeah, but what about specifically?" Levi smirked. He was certainly on his comeback game tonight. I rolled my eyes and continued sweeping.

"I didn't realize why Reagan was making me do sweep and mop. Until just now."

"I mean Jean elbowed me on the way out, so it kinda gave it away for me." He started filling the mop bucket with hot water and soap.

"But what's with that bruise? What happened to you?" I started sweeping my pile into the dustpan.

"Look, I said I'd tell you later, so I'll tell you later, okay?" Levi was annoyed as he began mopping from the far end of the mess hall.

"Okay, jeez. I just figured since we're alone right now you might want to tell me now."

"Nope, you thought wrong." We finished mopping quickly and we put the mop and bucket away. I started for the door, but Levi stopped me. "Where do you think you're going?" He pulled me into a quick kiss. "I need to talk to you."

"About what?" I asked. He looked nervous. I realized that I should tell him about Armin before we returned as well.

"Just sit down," he sighed. I did as I was told, sitting on the edge of a nearby table. "Not on the table were people eat, Stupid. Don't you know what germs are?" I sat down again on the bench while he thoroughly sanitized the spot on the table where I sat. "Much better. Let me start by saying I love you, and what I'm about to tell you doesn't change that. Okay so, you aren't gonna be very happy, actually I would understand if you left me after this. I have this friend, and we used to fuck around when we were both single. She kissed me." My stomach dropped. "Nothing happened after that, but I just felt like I owed it to you to tell you. I am so sorry." I let out a sigh of relief.

"Well that makes me feel so much better about what I have to tell you." Levi cocked an eyebrow. "Armin kissed me during truth or dare."

"Well it was a dare, so I don't put too much on that one."

"No he was dared to kiss the hottest person in the room and he kissed me."

"Oh. Okay, then. That bastard's dead," Levi said in perfect monotone. "You're mine."

"I'm not anybody's," I retorted grinning smugly. "But I'm with you. As long as you keep me around." The corner of Levi's mouth twitched up into a small smirk.

"It might be longer than you're expecting, Jaeger," Levi responded ambiguously. He tipped my chin down and pulled me into a sweet, slow kiss. He was taking his time, keeping his movements gentle and his hands light. I stepped a ghost of a step, connecting our bodies and wrapped my arms around his waist. He pulled back and whispered, "I love you so much."

"I love you too," I murmured back. "I missed you this weekend."

"I can tell, you little shirt thief," Levi gently snickered, still holding onto me. "Let's get back before anybody wonders what the holdup is." I nodded and we returned to the dorms.

"Guess what?!" Marco exclaimed as soon as we stepped into the Hawthorn common room. Jean was basically hanging from him as he approached me and Levi.

"I'm going home for Christmas tomorrow! My family wants me home for three weeks! Oh shit, I gotta pack."

"That's awesome, Marco," I nodded, smiling huge. Levi nodded, a small smile playing on his lips.

"Have fun kid," Levi said. "Merry Christmas."

"When are you leaving?" I asked.

"Tomorrow morning. Super early. But I really gotta go pack. Talk later." Marco twisted away from Jean and darted towards his bedroom.

"Love you too, Marco!" Jean called after Marco jokingly.

"Alright, guys, now that everybody's here, it's time to start getting ready for bed. You guys have school tomorrow." We decided not to linger and all of us immediately retreated to our respective bedrooms for the night.


	35. Chapter 34: Secrets

Levi and I finished getting ready for bed and retired to our bedroom quietly. I sat on my bed and Levi started to unpack his bag and put things away. He looked like he was avoiding something in his bag.

"Hey, will you close your eyes for a sec?" Levi asked.

"Why?" I asked, skeptically. "Got something to hide?" I folded my arms.

"No. Just don't look." 

I sighed and turned away from him, covering my eyes. I heard a drawer open and close and then soft footsteps approaching my bed. I felt Levi sit next to me and put his arms around me. He gently kissed my neck and I leaned into him.

"You can open your eyes now, Jaeger," Levi said, gently. I did as I was told. "God, I missed you."

"You too, Levi. I didn't sleep right all weekend."

"I never sleep right. I don't think I even know what sleeping right is," Levi chuckled. "But when I dream, I dream of you."

"That was incredibly sappy. And, actually, I had a dream about you the other night," I said, smiling.

"What was it about?" Levi asked. My face burned with the blush in my cheeks. "Oh. Was it a wet dream?" I didn't speak. Levi lightly traced my jawline with his fingertips. "I can't say I haven't had a couple of those dreams about you. Before we were dating it happened a lot. Even when I fucking hated you." I looked at him, my face hot except for where his cool fingers were. I remembered the bruise around his eye and gingerly touched it.

"You came back with a lot of secrets," I mumbled. Levi looked at me with an amused expression.

"Is that so?" he asked, mockingly. "Well then, let me share some with you." He took my hand in his and took a deep breath. "The bruise. Well, there isn't much to say about it. I fight with Kenny all the time." I gasped a little at that. "What? That's not news. You should see what his face looks like."

"It is to me, but I really don't wanna argue right now. What about the other secrets? Why did you make me close my eyes?" I stared into Levi's steel colored eyes and he didn't flinch before he spoke.

"None of your business," he snapped. I was the one who flinched. "I'm sorry, you just can't know. And please don't ask, because I know I won't be able to keep it from you forever." I nodded.

"Okay," I sighed. "But you'll tell me eventually?"

"Of course," Levi promised, gently kissing my jaw, sending shivers down my spine. "Now," he whispered. "Tell me about that dream of yours."

"No."

"The weekend alone's made you cocky. I might have to teach you a lesson," Levi chuckled.

"Whatever you want, Daddy," I joked back. Levi cocked an eyebrow.

"Daddy now, huh?" Levi asked, his voice dropping a couple octaves. "I'm not gonna argue," he said, absolutely smoldering. Just his voice was getting me a little hot and bothered. The room was instantly about twenty degrees warmer. "You look like you want something," he hedged. I was silent. "Well I won't do anything until you ask me to, so if you wanna just sit here all night, don't say anything." I squirmed, working up the nerve to ask. "I could probably guess, but I'm not going to." There was a long pause before I finally broke.

"Fuck me... please," I sighed. Levi smirked.

"There we go. A 'please' and everything. You must be getting desperate." He squeezed my thigh and smirked.

"Fuck off," I groaned, folding my arms. Levi chuckled.

"'Fuck you' would be a better phrase for the situation," he murmured, reaching his hand up my shirt. His cold fingers made me squirm a little bit. He buried his face in my neck, kissing and biting while his hand wandered up my shirt. I gasped when his fingers started gently pinching and twisting my nipple. Even though I was expecting it, I felt a rush of endorphins absorb me.

"Levi," I moaned softly.

"I was only gone for two days and you're reduced to a whining bitch?" I shuddered at his words. I liked the dirty talk. It was new. He continued fondling my nipple. "You little slut. You're like a fucking animal in heat." I moaned again when he said that.

His other hand guided me onto his lap before unbuttoning my pants. He continued attacking my neck with his mouth and my nipples with his right hand. When his fingers lightly traced my dick through my boxers, my back arched against him, rolling my hips on his crotch. He gasped quietly into my neck but continued his assault on my body.

"You're fucking soaking, Eren," Levi murmured. "You really must have missed me," he said starting to palm me through my underwear.

"L-levi," I gasped, wanting him inside me already. "Come on."

"I'm not even fully hard yet, Love. Give me a minute."

"Can- can I help you?" I begged.

"How?" Levi asked.

I reached behind me and tangled my fingers in Levi's hair, slowly rocking my hips onto Levi's. He inhaled sharply through his nose and I started rocking my hips faster onto him, trying to give him as much friction as possible.

"You're giving me a fucking lap dance," Levi panted as I ground down on him with more pressure. "You're so hot, Jaeger," he said, grabbing my hips with both hands.

"This is for my benefit, remember?"I snickered and continued until I could feel his rock hard dick poking my ass. I shuddered at the size. I didn't think I would ever get used to it. "Was that helpful?" I asked, making sure that I was still putting weight on his lap.

"That was more than helpful, you sexy little shit," Levi hissed. I couldn't wait for him to get all the pent up aggression out. Being home stressed him out more than I had expected. "I'm about to pound your ass until tomorrow, are you prepared for that?" I yelped when he gripped my hair and tipped my head back.

"Oh please," I whined, shifting my wait anxiously.

"This isn't gonna be how it normally is. It's gonna be a lot rougher because of all the shit that went down this weekend. Are you sure you understand?" I nodded. "When I'm stressed like this, I have a lot of stamina," he said, flipping me onto my back on the bed. I shivered as he yanked my pants off and I took my shirt off. He undressed and I saw so many black bruises and raised red welts from what looked a lot like a belt.

"Baby," I cried. "He hurt you."

"He didn't fucking hurt me. And don't fucking call me Baby." He pulled me into a rough kiss. "Forget about all that," he said between kisses. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him closer. I honestly didn't think he could wait for a prep, so I made an executive decision. I reached down and took Levi's throbbing member into my hands and started pushing it into my ass. He groaned when he felt what I was doing and looked at me with surprised eyes. "Are you sure, Jaeger? This hurts like a bitch." I didn't say anything, but pushing him further into me seemed to answer his question. He was right; I was in so much pain just getting the tip in that I couldn't think about anything else. The stretching burned like a hot iron and I had to stop for a second. I felt hot tears welling up in my eyes. "I fucking told you," Levi commented. "I'll pull out if you want me to."

"No," I gulped, shaking my head. "I've got this," I insisted. I remembered how Levi had done it in the dream. I separated myself from Levi and quickly rolled him onto his back.

"What the hell, Jaeger!" Levi cursed. "You're not fucking riding me yet."

"Just for a second," I said, straddling his perfect hips . My head brushed the top bunk and Levi noticed with a sigh. "I fucking hate bunk beds. Let's not start here." He hastily met our mouths and left the bed with me. I honestly wasn't sure how he was doing it. I wasn't sure how he had enough control to keep from obliterating my ass already. It looked like he was heading for the wall, but we just weren't going to make it that far. Levi all but tackled me to the floor and lined his painfully hard dick up with my ass and pushed into me in one fluid motion. I yelped in pain and Levi's stormy eyes flashed with concern, but it was all gone faster than it had come.

He wiped some of the tears that had escaped my eyes away with his thumb. "That was pretty ballsy what you just did there, Jaeger," Levi panted, holding very still to let me adjust to him in dry. I could feel Levi slightly shaking, but he was trying his hardest to keep still. I tried to relax my muscles enough so that I could adjust to Levi inside me. 

"Okay," I breathed, nodding. "You can move, Levi." Levi nodded and pulled almost all the way out before slamming into me with an insane force. I had to muffle the scream that escaped my lips, but once Levi got a pace going, he started working on my painful boner. He was incredibly talented in that department as I was nothing but a moaning mess within a matter of seconds. During one thrust, Levi's dick brushed my prostate and I almost screamed again. "Right there, Levi!" I gasped. I could feel pressure building up in my lower body, already demanding a release.

"Oh, God, Eren," Levi moaned as all of my muscles clenched around him. He hit the same spot again and again, absolutely abusing my sweet spot. I wasn't sure how much longer I would last.

"L-levi, I'm close," I moaned.

"Well I'm not, brat. Damn I made you a pussy leaving for three days," Levi panted. "And we're cumming together," he added, grabbing the base of my dick and squeezing it enough to keep me from finishing. He kept pounding me for what seemed like forever, making sure to keep hitting my prostate. Not being able to release was painful, but honestly it was also kind of a turn-on. I liked that Levi had total control, while I was underneath his body, my mind clouded with pain and ecstasy. I could feel Levi getting close as well, his thrusts getting sloppy, and his chest heaving. He continued to pick up his pace, but his climax was rapidly approaching. "Fuck," he gasped, "Eren!" He cried before releasing deep inside of me and letting go of my dick, allowing me to finish as well. I felt him fill me up and I arched my back, hitting the high myself.

"Levi," I panted. "I love you." Levi didn't bother pulling out before gently plopping onto my chest.

"I love you, too, Eren." Levi caught his breath, pulling out and sitting up. I looked closer at the bruises and marks on his body. He kissed me passionately before asking, "You ready for round two?"


	36. Chapter 35: Busted

"Wake up, Eren," Levi said quietly, leaning over my bed.

"Five more minutes," I mumbled.

"No, now," he replied.

Levi hadn't been bluffing about going all night. At about four thirty, I passed out after reaching a final orgasm. I was absolutely spent and I couldn't will myself to get out of bed. Levi must have put some clothes on me when I fell asleep because I woke up with an inside out tee shirt and a pair of sweatpants about half way up my legs. Levi was walking around the room, cleaning up and grabbing clothes. I pulled the sweats up all the way and got out of bed. My hips were throbbing and painful but I tried my hardest to ignore it.

Levi gently wrapped his arms around me, letting his hands rest at my lower back. "You're so perfect," he murmured, resting his forehead on my chest. I lowered my chin onto the top of Levi's head and hugged him closer to me. We gently swayed back and forth, just holding each other. Levi leaned up and kissed my neck. I heard somebody clear their throat.

"Would you like to try to explain yourselves? Not that it'll do you any good," a voice said. Levi and I jumped and saw Sunni in the doorway with her hands on her hips. I felt cold spreading through my body and a horrible feeling resting in the pit of my stomach. Levi shook his head and started laughing.

"Screw that. You don't need a damn explanation. You know exactly what's going on. You're just trying to trip us up at this point," Levi argued. 

"Get your hands off of each other. Right now. I'm calling your therapist," Sunni said sternly, pulling out her phone. Levi kissed me quickly before stepping away. I felt empty when he backed up. He looked at me mouthed a final 'I love you.' His eyes looked scared, but his hard expression didn't match the fear in his grey orbs. She was talking to Trevor, but her voice sounded like it was underwater.

The time leading up to Trevor arriving was a slow blur. I felt like I was going to pass out or throw up. Trevor took me and Levi to his office. I felt like I was being acted upon and I wasn't allowed to respond. He had us sit on opposite sides of the couch in his office.

"What's the point of making us sit apart? You've already done your damage, you bastard," Levi spat.

"I haven't done anything yet, Levi. Listen, you two, and listen well. You two are changing bedrooms. Your things are being moved as we speak. Eren, you're rooming with Jean, Sean, and Marco. Levi, you're with Peter, Connie, and Armin. But there are going to be more consequences than just that. You both are going to be on care phase for the next little bit. Levi, you know about care phase, but Eren, let me explain. This is an intervention given when a student threatens the safety of another student. You are not allowed to leave the arm's reach of your point staff. You aren't allowed to interact with the group. You will be isolated in the care phase cabin most of the day but will be let out for meals. You will also not be allowed to interact with each other indefinitely."

"This is ridiculous," Levi interrupted. "We aren't killing each other. Nobody's in danger. I don't see what the issue is. This is just you being a dick. This is what's so fucked up about this kind of school. You don't want us to fight, but falling in love is also wrong. Like what do you want us to do? Ignore each other? Pretend that nobody else exists? Fuck facilities that just treat us like cattle. Fuck you, Trevor! Fuck everything!" Levi slammed his fist into Trevor's glass coffee table, absolutely shattering it. I jumped in shock and looked over at Levi, whose hands were instantly gushing blood.

"Levi," I murmured. I was processing everything that had just happened. I couldn't feel anything yet. "Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not fucking okay, Eren. It's over and there's nothing we can do about it! Before we get separated completely, I wanna say that I love you so damn much."

"I love you too," I replied. Trevor shook his head.

"Both of your parents will be notified of this," Trevor said strictly. It was my turn to get angry.

"My mom knows, Trevor, and she'll probably tell you to shove a stick up your ass," I snapped. Trevor sighed.

"I know you're angry, but this isn't helping your cases," Trevor said calmly. It was infuriating how quiet he was. Like he didn't actually give a shit about what was going on. What he was doing to us.

"And I don't have parents," Levi scowled, wiping his bloody hands on his jeans.

"Eren, you can go. I have to talk to Levi. There's a staff waiting for you outside of my office. I'll meet with you in a while." I stood and waved silently at Levi. He nodded in response, his mouth a thin line. I calmly stepped out of the room, closing the door behind me. I heard Levi speaking, but I couldn't make out the words.

"It's my off day, Eren. You picked the actual worst day to get put on care phase," Annie said, patting my shoulder. I nodded. "I'm sorry, kid, that's really hard. Even if you're a total brat, you don't deserve that." I didn't know why her kindness was making me so angry.

"Save the sappy shit for Sean," I hissed.

"Woah there, I'm just trying to be nice." Annie and I left the building together. I took a deep breath, realizing I couldn't hold the tears back any longer. The lump in my throat was strangling me and the tears burned in my eyes. I stopped walking along the path and burst into tears.

"I'm sorry," I sobbed. "It's just a lot."

Annie nodded. "I know." I bawled like a baby for a couple minutes before I calmed down and we continued for the care phase cabin. The only thought I had on my mind was that most people that went in never returned.


	37. Chapter 36: Stay Away From Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anybody that is wondering, yes I did go to a rehabilitation program not much unlike this one, however, I have definitely fictionalized it. I was at my rehab for nearly two years of my life.

Time started to lose meaning locked in the care phase cabin. Levi and I were locked in separate rooms and weren't allowed to even look at each other. There was nothing to do, no clocks, and Levi and I each had our own staff to breathe over our shoulders. There weren't any windows in the cabin so I had no clue what time it was. Trevor had lied about being with the group for meals. There were protein bars in a drawer in my room that I was welcome to at any time. I wasn't quite sure what day it was, but I was very enthralled by the path of a certain dust mote illuminated by the fluorescent lights. I heard my door unlock and spun around to see Trevor standing with a small stack of papers.

"Hey, Eren. What's up?" Trevor asked. I shrugged.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. "What day is it?"

"Thursday," Trevor replied non-chalantly. Like it was totally normal to forget what day it was. I was put in the care phase cabin on Monday. I sighed and Trevor placed the stack of papers on my sleeping bag.

"What are those?" I asked.

"You have to fill them out and you'll be off care phase. Just questions. You can work on it while we talk." He handed me a crayon. I wasn't allowed to have anything sharp while I was on care phase, including pens and pencils. I started working on the sheets. The questions were basically just asking why I thought I was on care phase, and why I wanted to get off of care phase. "Okay, so, what do you think happened? Why are you on care phase?"

"I got caught involved romantically with Levi," I muttered.

"Yes. You did. Okay. Do you think you deserve to be off of care phase?" I nodded. "Why?"

"Cuz I've dove everything you've asked me. I've been compliant with care phase and I'm not at risk to harming others." Trevor nodded.

"Okay. And why is it not okay to be in a relationship with Levi?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure, but I just know it isn't. So, I'll refrain."

"Fair enough. I can't cancel your graduation, because your mom is insisting that there is nothing wrong with what you were doing and insists that you still graduate on the 29th."

I nodded, still filling out the papers.

"You're also off of distance with Levi. I don't think you'll have to worry about talking to him much anymore anyways," Trevor said vaguely. I raised an eyebrow, a sick feeling in my stomach.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I demanded, narrowing my eyes.

"You'll just have to see," Trevor said, leaving. I took a deep breath and finished my paperwork. I handed it into my staff.

"Hmm," Jacob said, looking it over. "Looks good to me. Let's go. It's dinnertime." I stood up and left the cabin with my staff. I walked a little faster than he was walking. "Hey, technically it's arm's reach until we get you back to the group."

"Oh," I said, not knowing all of the care phase rules. "Sorry." I slowed down and walked next to him.

"It's okay, you didn't know." We arrived at the mess hall and I saw my dorm, sitting at the table. I saw Levi. He wasn't looking at me, but he was slouching dejectedly. I found an empty spot next to Armin, who smiled, but his blue eyes looked concerned.

"Jeez, Eren, you look like shit," Armin said. I was trying to make eye contact with Levi, but I couldn't get his attention.

"I feel like shit," I replied. Connie waved at me, and I waved in return. Sean and Jean both nodded a greeting at me. I shot my eyebrows up as a halfhearted reply. I waved at Levi, but he still didn't notice.

"Hey, Jacob," Levi said. I hadn't heard his voice in what felt like an eternity. It was like the voice of a god. "Can I take some space? I need to get outta here." Jacob nodded and reminded him of the five minute rule. Levi stood up and quickly walked out of the building.

"What's his deal?" I asked Armin. "How long has he been out?"

"Since yesterday," Armin said. "And he's been moody since he got out, but he wasn't this apprehensive before. He won't even look at you. I wonder what's up."

"Me too," I agreed. "Hey Jacob, can I go talk to Levi?"

"Technically, no, but I think these rules are total bullshit, so go right ahead. If it never happened, it never happened," Jacob replied. I jogged outside and found Levi sitting on the steps of the porch of the mess hall. 

"Levi," I murmured. He whipped around and stood up, slowly backing away from me.

"Stay away from me, Eren," he warned, his voice shaking. There was fear in his eyes. I walked closer to him, but he kept backing up.

"What are you doing? I'm not gonna hurt you. You know that. What's going on?" I said, stopping to make Levi stop backing up. He shook his head.

"Get the hell away from me!" He snapped. "I don't want you here! I know you think you need to be here, but I'm fine! Just stop!" His hands were shaking.

"Woah. I'm just trying to be nice, because you're usually nice to people that you love," I defended. Levi shook his head. "What happened to you?"

"Nothing fucking happened!" Levi yelled. "Look. I don't want you to be nice to me. I don't want your love. I don't deserve it anymore. I'll always love you, but I don't want you to love me. Just go," he said quieter, dropping his head. I approached him while he wasn't looking, wrapping my arms around him. He shoved me away. "Stop! Don't fucking touch me." He looked at me with broken eyes. The dark circles were ever present, and I didn't see any other choice.

"I love you," I mumbled.

"Don't ever fucking say that again," Levi commanded coldly. His voice was ice, and his eyes, which were normally so expressive were completely unreadable. I sighed and walked slowly towards the door, like I was waiting for him to change his mind. He hadn't called me back by the time I reached the door, so I stole one final glance at him before going inside. I was on the verge of tears, and I could have sworn that as I was walking inside, I could hear Levi crying too.


	38. Chapter 37: News

I thought Levi avoiding me was the worst thing that could possibly happen.

I felt so empty inside. Levi looked sad as well, but I figured I was misinterpreting it. He wanted this. He didn't want to talk to me. He wanted to keep the distance. He wouldn't even look in my direction. The day was going by at a snail's pace, but every other Friday was pizza night, so I couldn't wait to drown my sorrows in some cheese pizza. We were waiting for all the dorms to arrive to start dinner and I made accidental eye contact with Levi, who was wearing a huge black band hoodie. We stared into each other's eyes for a little too long. Levi was the one who finally broke the eye contact, looking at something behind me. I spun around and looked at what had caught his attention. A staff was standing, waiting for the mess hall to quiet down before she spoke. We became silent when we saw the expression she was wearing. It looked broken and depressed.

"Okay, guys," She said assertively, but her voice cracked. "I don't know how to say this. I'm so sorry, but Marco Bodt, in Hawthorn, was killed in a car accident last night." I felt my blood run cold. I looked at Jean, whose eyes were huge and instantly haunted with inner agony. "He didn't feel any pain; he was killed on impact. I know that many of you in Hawthorn were close to Marco and this is a lot to take in, so feel free to process this with your therapists in the morning. We're all very sad about this, losing one of our own, and I'm sorry to any of you that are particularly sad about this." I couldn't believe it. Marco had been alive and well less than twenty four hours ago. I couldn't believe that Sunday night was the last time I'd ever see him.

"Sad? Sad?! I'm fucking broken!" Jean interjected, standing up. "No! You don't just get to say that you're sorry! You didn't know him!" He was yelling, slamming his fist on the table after each statement. "To you, he was just another paycheck! He was my world! I loved him," Jean said, sobbing. I stood at the same time Levi and Armin stood. We all approached Jean, huddling in a protective circle around him. "Fuck you! Fuck all of you! You didn't deserve to know him!" Jean yelled at the staff, kicking the bench.

"Jean, I'm so sorry," Armin said, tears in his eyes, taking Jean's hand and squeezing it.

"Hey, Kid," Levi murmured shakily, putting his hand on Jean's shoulder. "We're right here." Sobs racked Jean's body as everybody stared. I wanted to put a bullet between everybody's prying eyes. I couldn't believe Marco was really gone. He wouldn't just leave like that. I felt the tears coming, and the knot in my throat building. Marco was gone and none of us would ever see him again. Freckled Jesus, the sweetest kid I'd ever known, was no longer with us. Levi took his hoodie off and handed it to Jean, who gratefully put it on, and I wrapped an arm around Jean and hugged him close. I looked at Levi's bare arms and saw several new, deep, scars decorating his left wrist. That caused the tears to spill over. I was totally broken, and there was nothing I, or anybody else, could do to fix it.

"Jean, you're causing a scene," the staff interrupted coldly. "Feel free to process this later, but now is not the time."

"How fucking dare you?!" Jean yelled through his tears. "You have no clue what Marco meant to me! You have no idea what love is!" Levi, Armin, Jean, and I were all crying. I felt like we were crying for the loss of Marco, who was dear to all of us, but also for the loss of Jean. I could feel a part of him dying as well while we held onto him, and I was sure the others could feel it too.

"Jean, calm down," the staff commanded sternly. I was angry. Jean wasn't doing anything wrong.

"I am fucking calm! I could be throwing shit at you, but I'm not! Please, stop! Just let me breathe," he cried. The next thing I knew, I felt strong hands on me, pulling me off of Jean. Three large staff members from different dorms were pulling all of us away from Jean. Once we were far enough away from Jean, the staff members took him to the ground. He hit the linoleum ground with a sickening smack. "Please, let me go-" He was cut off by one of the staff restraining him in bent-wrist-control, a type of restraining wrist-lock that could take a 300 pound man to the ground and have him bawling like a baby in less than a second. Jean was taking it surprisingly well. He looked like a corpse with how still he was holding. His eyes were wide with fear as they carried him out of the building.

"What the hell was that, Mellissa?!" Levi yelled at the staff member. "Just let him fucking have a minute! God knows what you people do to us when we fall in love here." He shot a broken glance in my direction before continuing. "Jean got his heart ripped out tonight and you think the best way to comfort him is fucking tackling him? Are you even a fucking human being? How could you do that to him?" It was my turn to defend Jean.

"Yeah, Jesus Christ. He just found out that somebody he loves was killed. He never even got to say goodbye! None of us did! What the fuck kind of person thinks the right response is to beat up on him?! And seriously, three fucking guys on one teenager?! What are you gonna do now? Have six guys jump me and Levi for opening our mouths?!" She only stood silently, shocked that there was any sort of backlash from us. "Yeah, that's what I fucking thought!" I yelled, smacking the table. "I-"

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I whipped around and Levi shook his head slowly. 

"Jaeger," he whispered. "They're not listening, just drop it before you end up like Jean." There was genuine concern in his eyes, so I did my best to try and calm down. He quickly took his hand off my shoulder and looked away from me.

"Seriously," Sean scoffed, crossing his arms and standing up. I was surprised that he would be the one to say anything. He spoke calmly. "This whole system is fucked. Kirschtein didn't do anything wrong. You guys are the ones in the wrong here. What you did to Jean was nasty and totally uncalled for. Just let the man fucking grieve." His eyes were full of tears that hadn't fallen yet. I was shocked at how shaken he was. I had always seen him as somebody who didn't care about others and only looked out for himself, but now, he was sticking up for Jean with tears in his eyes. I felt a small admiration for Sean in that moment.

That was the last time we ever saw Jean. He was admitted into a nearby mental hospital the next day. Nobody ever told us what the official reason was, but rumors spread, that his therapist, Xander was incredibly homophobic and had sent him away to get conversion therapy. When I could think of anything other than how heartbroken we were, I thought for the first time how lucky I had been to have Trevor be my therapist. Me, Levi, Armin, and even Sean, were absolutely torn up over the whole ordeal. There wasn't a dry eye in Hawthorn as we mourned Marco that night. But, we were also mourning the loss of Jean, though we didn't know it at the time.

I thought Levi avoiding me was the worst thing that could possibly happen. I couldn't have been more wrong.


	39. Chapter 38: Please

I was tired of being sad. It had been almost a week since everything had gone down with Jean and Marco. I had cried the whole weekend, and so had Armin. I could hear Levi in the other room crying as well, but out with the rest of everybody, he was stone cold. He hadn't spoken to me since we were told about Marco.

I wasn't sure how long I could stay away from him for. I walked up to him during lunch while he was washing his hands.

"Look, I think we need to talk. You're being weird, and I've given you plenty of space and plenty of time," I said, putting my hand on Levi's shoulder. He flinched and shrugged me off of him. "Like that. What the hell was that?"

"Just drop it, Eren. And don't talk to me. He's watching me," Levi whispered. I was taken aback, but then filled with a powerful anger. I was sure it was Kenny.

"Who's watching you?" I demanded, trapping him to the wall in the bathroom. "What the hell kinda answer is that? I'll kill them. Why haven't you killed him? You're the biggest badass I've ever met."

"Look, Eren, even if I wanted to tell you, I can't. Just stay away from me. I don't know what I'd do with myself if I let you get hurt." He tried to push past me, but I grabbed his wrist and spun him around.

"If I get hurt, it's my own damn fault. What's going on?"

"Look, please. Please, just let me go. This is only because I love you. Just stay very far away from me."

"No, either I get hurt by some mysterious force, or by you, because you avoiding me hurts more than anything anybody else could do."

"Well then it's just gonna really suck for you, huh?" Levi spat, trying to walk away.

"No. We are not just leaving it like this. Please," I begged, on the verge of tears, "please. I love you and I don't know what I'll do if I keep seeing you like this without being able to help. I know it's bad, Levi. Whatever it is made you start cutting again. I saw your arm when you gave Jean your hoodie last Friday when all that shit was going down. I can't just let you do this to yourself. Even if you aren't going to talk to me, or be with me, you cannot tell me to stop caring. I don't know what I'd do with myself if I knowingly let this go on."

Levi was struggling. "Look, I've been in the bathroom too long. He'll know something's up. I gotta go. Hawthorn bathrooms, 12:30."

"Which 12:30?"

"12:30 am, dumbass," Levi scoffed, storming out of the bathroom.


	40. Chapter 39: Keep Quiet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Istg I'm gonna get carpal tunnel syndrome lmao

The day couldn't have possibly have gone by slower. I was dying to know about Levi's situation. I wanted to help him in any way that I could. But when twelve thirty finally rolled around, I was awake and ready to see the boy I loved. I crawled out of bed, careful not to wake my new roommate and crept to the bathroom. Levi was standing, leaning against the far wall with his arms folded. I nearly successfully resisted the urge to kiss him and show him how much I missed him.

Nearly.

I rushed over to Levi and tipped his head up, bringing him into an aggressive kiss. His lips automatically moved against mine, but the rest of his body was as stiff as a board. I pulled back, having anticipated a response like that. He let out a quiet breath, and his eyes were full of mixed emotions. They were the color of storm clouds right before a thunderstorm, but his pupils were huge.

"Please, don't do that," he said quietly, taking my hand and staring at it.

"Why not?" I asked, eyeing him skeptically.

"Because I don't want to miss you more than I already do." I hadn't been expecting that. "You have no idea how much I just want to sleep in here on the floor, next to you. But germs. Ew."

"But why can't you be with me anymore?" I pleaded.

"Shh! You're being too loud. Eren, please. I told you I would tell you. Just don't ask questions. I want to be able to say that you didn't ask." He took my face in his cold hands, looking me straight in the eyes. "I'm not gonna tell you specifics, because you don't need to know, but something happened while we were in the Care Phase cabin. It's not like I've never had sex against my will, but this was the first time that somebody I love was threatened because of it." I let his words sink in. Somebody had raped him. I couldn't believe it.

"Who was it? We need to tell Trevor," I demanded. Levi's eyes widened in fear.

"No. Nobody's telling Trevor. Trevor does not need to know," he asserted sternly.

"Why not? Trevor's the only one who can do anything about whoever did this to you!"

"Because I said we're not going to Trevor. End of story." He was starting to get frustrated.

"But why are you saying that? Trevor can help us. Even if we can't be together, we can make sure that whoever did this to you is properly punished and stuff," I reasoned.

"Because Trevor was the one who raped me!" Levi cried. His eyes widened and he covered his mouth. I felt my blood run cold. "Shit. I shouldn't have said that."

"We have to tell the authorities,"I choked. 

"No. We are not going to tell the authorities. Absolutely not," he said sternly.

"But, he needs to be locked up so that this doesn't happen again," I debated. Levi sighed.

"Look, Eren. Evil goes unpunished every day. I've seen too much of it to feel any sort of desire to serve any kind of justice to Trevor," Levi explained gently.

"Then I'll do it."

"If you love me, and want any sort of trust from me, then you will not, under any circumstances, tell another living soul." Levi looked scared. I couldn't comprehend why Levi wouldn't want to tell anybody.

"But-" I started to protest.

"Don't you get it, Eren? He threatened you. I would never be able to live with myself if he hurt you. Like I said, this kind of thing has happened to me before, but nobody ever threatened somebody that I love. I didn't love anybody, and so there was no one to threaten. Now there is and I have got to keep you safe."

"Levi," I mumbled, soaking in everything he'd just told me. I wrapped my arms around him. He flinched, but otherwise let it happen. "I'm so sorry. I love you so much."

"Not like it hasn't happened before," Levi mumbled. I could tell he was trying not to cry. I wasn't even trying anymore; the tears were running down my face in bucketfulls.

"Has Trevor done it more than once?" I asked. Levi shook his head.

"No. Back home. Kenny'd get drunk and come into my bedroom. Sometimes he'd just hit me a couple times and walk out, but other times, he'd do other stuff too. It's something you get used to if it keeps happening long enough. Like, I could tell you what consent is, but I don't really know what it means anymore. I'd never do something like that, but saying no just sorta stopped occurring to me after a while."

"That's awful," I remarked solemnly. Levi shrugged in my arms.

"It is what it is. Now, what I'm more focused on is protecting you from having to deal with something like that to the best of my abilities." He wrapped his arms around me in return, and I felt a million times safer. "Now, please promise me, this conversation will never leave this bathroom."

"I'll take it to the grave, Levi. I promise."

"Good. I love you so much."

"I love you too." I lightly petted Levi's hair. He hummed a quiet melody and it was a while before either of us spoke again. "Levi?"

"Hm?"

"You haven't called me Jaeger in a while," I remarked.

"Yeah. I can't bring myself to call you Jaeger while we aren't officially together. It makes me feel like there's too much distance between us. I still wanna feel close to you, Eren."

"Oh. Well, you could try talking to me during the day, or in general, in general would be nice, too. But then, maybe you wouldn't feel like I'm so far away."

Levi sighed, "I can't talk to you during the day. He's there during the day. I can't do something like that, because it would tip him off. But, I'll stay here and talk all night if you want me to."

I blinked. Levi had really thought this through. I nodded, understanding where Levi was coming from, even if I didn't agree. I loved him so much. I felt like I could float away. Levi wasn't going anywhere; he was only trying to keep me safe. I couldn't verbalize how I felt about Levi, no words could ever express it, so I just pressed my lips to the crown of Levi's head and thought about what a lucky bastard I was to have such an amazing person to love me.


	41. Chapter 40: I'll Take Care of It

The next morning was hard. I wanted to get up and stab Trevor, sitting at the therapist's table, not a care in his stupid head. I hadn't slept at all the night before, so I was also a little delirious. I was thinking about Levi, and trying not to think about Trevor. I had resolved that I wouldn't allow Levi to be alone with Trevor, as much as I could help it. We were sitting at the breakfast table, me next to Armin and Levi on his other side. Trevor approached my table and I could feel my stomach churn.

"I need to borrow Levi for a little bit. It might be a while. This is gonna be a long session," Trevor said, smiling at Reagan. A lot of things happened at once. Levi started to stand, and almost reflexively, I reached over Armin and grabbed his wrist. Armin put his hands up innocently and tried to scoot back while Levi flicked his arm and caused me to let go of his wrist. He spilled what was left of his cereal with that maneuver, and sighed, frustrated.

"Absolutely not," I insisted darkly. I realized my mistake too late. Trying to correct it, I stammered, "I-I actually need - needed to talk to you about something Trevor. I wanna go first." Trevor nodded and smiled.

"Okay, Eren. Let's go then," Trevor smiled, a scary gleam in his eyes. I stood and cleared my bowl, shooting a glance back at Levi, whose eyes were wide with fear and disapproval as he slowly shook his head. Trevor and I walked outside. It was lightly drizzling and the sky was grey. "So, what'd you need, Eren?"

"I-I, um, well," I stuttered, trying to think of something important enough that I needed Trevor's undivided attention for. "I wanna talk about phasework. What else do I need to do to graduate?"

Trevor raised an eyebrow and took a step towards me. I took a step back and was backed up against the railing on the porch of the mess hall. I put my hands behind me to steady myself. My heart was pounding. I was terrified. I realized that I was trapped. Trevor had me cornered. I had no way to go except through him. He spoke in a low voice, "Is that really why you wanted me out here with you? Away from Levi?" I gulped. "I know Levi told you. Did he tell you what was going to happen if he told you?" My eyes widened and he closed the distance between us. There was maybe an inch between us, if that. I tried to push past him, but he shoved me back against the railing. "It'll be worse if you fight it," he said, tracing his index finger along my jawline lightly. I didn't like it at all. Even though it was a similar gesture to things Levi had done before, it felt foreign and disgusting. I knew I couldn't fight him because I would get punished. There were a million ways Trevor could twist this story to make me seem like the kid with issues assaulting his therapist, so I gave up and quietly let it happen.

He stepped one of his legs between mine, and I didn't protest. I was cursing the mess hall for not having windows about the time he was reaching for my belt. It was terrifying, but I was trying not to think about it. I closed my eyes, fighting back the tears.

"What the fuck?" I heard a woman's voice yell from off the porch at the same time I heard the door to the mess hall open.

"Get away from him!" I heard Levi's voice boom. I opened my eyes and saw CJ running towards Trevor as Levi swept Trevor's legs out from underneath him with a swift kick to the ankles. CJ grabbed Trevor and pulled him away from me.

"So I can do it to you, you whore? But if it's Eren, it's suddenly World War Three?" Trevor spat, struggling against CJ. She was small, but incredibly muscular, so he was having a hard time throwing her.

"I don't matter! He does, but you already knew that," Levi sighed. "CJ you can let him go. I can take care of this from here. Don't tell a soul."

CJ looked confused. "But, we need to tell somebody," she argued.

"No, we don't. I said I'll take care of it. Thank you CJ, for getting him off of Eren." CJ nodded and released Trevor. "And please, please don't tell anybody that this happened." She shook her head, but voiced a quiet consent. I was frozen as Trevor walked towards the therapist's office.

"I don't want you around either of them, or any of the other students for the rest of the day," CJ demanded, stepping in front of me and Levi in a protective stance. Trevor continued walking away silently.

"CJ," Levi spoke. She looked at him. "Can I borrow your phone? I need to call Kenny."


	42. Chapter 41: Favors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm quaking. I was so angsty. I mean, it was a good situation to be angsty in, especially given my own experience with things like that, but like damn, bro.

CJ skeptically handed Levi her cell phone and he put a *67 and dialed his uncle's number.

"Cover your ears, both of you." We did as we were told, slowly putting our hands over our ears. It didn't completely block out the call, but it was enough to muffle his words. I heard Levi's voice, but I couldn't hear a thing that Kenny was saying. He was talking about how Kenny was family, so he needed one last favor before he left forever, and from the look on Levi's face, Kenny had accepted instantly. Then, Levi walked a little further away from us, and lowered his voice even more. He held up a hand, gesturing for us not to come. He finished his conversation with Kenny quickly before hanging up and handing the phone back to CJ. "You can uncover your ears now," Levi instructed calmly. I lowered my hands and CJ did the same.

"What was that all about?" CJ asked. Levi shook his head.

"It's better if you didn't know."

"No. You used my phone for this, you at least have to tell me what it was."

"I won't do details, because if anybody asks, you have got to say you don't know. But all I'm going to say is that he's going to be quitting his job very soon." CJ nodded.

"Well I have to go talk to Reagan about staff things," CJ chuckled nervously. She was trying to remain calm, but her face was white as a sheet. Probably the adrenaline was fading, as well as the fear she was most likely feeling about Levi doing something suspicious on her phone. She briskly walked away, but turned when she reached the door and said, "Make sure you two get inside soon. Space is five minutes."

Levi sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "That bastard. I didn't wanna have to do that."

"What did you do, though?"

"Don't ask, don't tell, Eren. I have a powerful family. Let's leave it at that." I took Levi's hand.

"You seem stressed."

"Well, yeah! The only person I've ever loved just almost got raped. Of fucking course I'm stressed. How are you not?"

"I - I'm not sure. I kinda zoned out while it was happening. It was just too weird, and I was sick of being scared." Levi's eyes widened.

"Okay, then."

"But what did you ask Kenny to do?" Levi shook his head.

"You should stop asking me. I'm not gonna tell you." I tried to piece it together. All Levi had said was that it was a favor. And then that Trevor was going to quit his job. He said he had a powerful family. I was using all of my brain cells trying to figure out what Kenny could possibly do to help our situation. I gasped when I came up with an answer.

"It was a hit, wasn't it?"

"Not so fucking loud, Jaeger. Other people still exist."

"Wait I was right?" 

"I can neither confirm nor deny. Jaeger, please, I'd feel better if you didn't know. Can we change the subject please?"

"You called me Jaeger," I said quietly.

"Well, yeah. I'm turning eighteen in two days, and leaving. And, besides, Trevor's gone. There's not really a point staying away from you anymore." It hit me how long we had left with each other. Forty eight hours, tops. I felt my eyes begin to sting. I didn't realize that I was already crying until Levi gently brushed the falling tears off of my face. "Hey," he said gently. "Hey, don't cry, baby." I couldn't help it. I broke down completely into body wracking sobs. Levi wrapped his arms around me and held me while I continued to cry violently.

"Will I see you again?" I asked through my tears.

"Of course. I don't know how long I could stand not seeing you."

"Okay," I said, pulling back and wiping my eyes. A question that had been on my mind a lot recently bubbled up. "Why didn't you just tell me? Why'd you avoid me?"

"Were you not here, like ten minutes ago? That's what I was afraid of happening."

"Well yeah, but you didn't have to act like you didn't love me anymore."

"Are we really doing this right now?" I nodded. "Fine. I thought it was the only way to get you to stay away."

"Ouch. That was kinda low."

"You know you wouldn't have stayed away if I hadn't done something like that."

"Levi, do you realize how dramatic that sounds?"I asked, a little frustrated. "You could have at least told me that something was up."

"Well, it was a dramatic situation. And no, I fucking couldn't have, because you woulda pulled a stunt like you did this morning and could have actually gotten yourself hurt. You're lucky I fucking knew better." Levi was always good at reprimanding.

"Okay, listen. I don't really think any one of us got lucky in this situation, Levi. Yes, I appreciate you stepping in before things got worse. But still, what happened was in no way lucky. I-"

"Argh! That's not what I fucking meant. Jesus Christ. I was trying to save you by leaving you out of this. But no, you're ass always has to find trouble. Do you realize how fucking worried I am all the time?" 

"Oh, you're worried? My boyfriend got raped by his therapist! I have had it up to here with your self loathing, Levi! You aren't the cause of all of my problems! So get your panties out of a fucking twist and don't try to mom me anymore. You think you're doing things for my benefit, but all I'm seeing is you being cold and distant."

"Because I fucking had to, Jaeger! He threatened you!"

"But you seem to think that you have to deal with all this shit by yourself. Levi, that's what I'm here for! So you don't have to spiral into one of your self hatred moods by yourself, so I can be there to hold your fucking hand, so I can wipe the tears away and tell you how fucking awesome you are! That's what love is!" Levi was quiet for a long time. He took a deep breath.

"Look, Eren. I'm sorry. I really am. I love you more than I could ever say in words. I'm sorta new to this whole love thing." He looked at the ground. "Please forgive me."

I took his hand and smiled. "Of course I forgive you, Levi. I love you, too. Now let's get inside before people raise too many eyebrows."

"Okay," Levi said, releasing my hand as we walked back inside, realizing just how in love we were, and just how much it was going to hurt when he left.


	43. Chapter 42: Crashing Down

Trevor didn't show up for work on Christmas Eve. I didn't say a word when the staff announced that Trevor had eloped and moved out of state last night. All of that was relatively easy, but it was hard admitting to myself that Levi was actually going to leave on Christmas. We were sitting in our last class before break and Levi handed me a small piece of paper.

"Open it later," he whispered, walking past me to his seat. We didn't want to look more suspicious than we already did. I nodded and slipped the paper into my pocket. I couldn't believe we had resorted to passing notes like teenage girls, but if that was how to talk with him, then it was a humiliation I was willing to face. I knew if Jean was still there, he would have raised an eyebrow and given me shit about it later. I realized how much I missed Jean and Marco. Marco. I sent a silent prayer to him, wherever he was. If there was a heaven, he'd be up there. I wasn't particularly religious, but I liked to think he was still out there, watching us and shaking his head.

After spending the rest of Biology thinking about Jean and Marco, I was finally on Christmas break. We only got a week off, which was basically a big fat "fuck you," to all of the Jewish kids.

I was so relieved. That was the last day I would have class at this damn school. I couldn't wait to be gone, especially after Levi was leaving. I wasn't totally sure how I was going to handle that. I stood and grabbed my backpack, carrying it out of the classroom and to the mess hall, and sitting down at my table. I sat across from Levi, and next to Connie, in a pleasant change of scenery. I unfolded the note, and in Levi's neat script, it read:

Eren:

I got permission from Hanji and Erwin to sleep in our old room tonight. You too. Sneak out when the last daytime staff leaves.

I looked up, making brief eye contact with Levi before nodding once. I folded the note back up and slid it into my pocket. I stretched my legs out underneath the table and accidentally kicked Levi. He raised an eyebrow and I flinched my legs away from him, but his ankle caught mine and he pulled them back. I looked up at him and he was staring at me, a mischievous gleam in his eyes as he slid his foot lightly up my leg. I could not believe we were actually playing footsie. We really were a couple of teenage girls, but nonetheless, I was already a little flustered.

I pushed his foot off of my leg and stood before he could do anything. I turned to Reagan and CJ and spoke. "I'm going to the bathroom." Reagan nodded. "And then I need a minute outside."

"Okay," he nodded. I walked quickly to the bathroom and locked myself in a stall. I sat down, pulling my knees to my chest and sobbing. I missed Marco. I missed Jean. I even missed Levi already. Trevor doing all that stuff. The stress of Levi calling out the hit. All of it was crashing on my head and I could feel a tearing sensation in my chest. I heard a soft knock on the door of my stall.

"I'm sorry, baby. I was just messing around. I didn't mean to make you cry," Levi said softly with a voice full of emotion. Hearing his voice was too much. I couldn't stop. 

"It w-wasn't you," I managed to eke out before the tears took over again. I felt like a girl on her period, but I couldn't stop crying, no matter how hard I was trying.

"Baby," Levi murmured. "Let me in there with you."

I reached forward and unlocked the stall. Levi was by my side instantly, wrapping his arms around me and locking the stall again. I sobbed into his abdomen, no doubt soaking his shirt. He stroked my hair gently, running his fingers through it. I felt so safe in his arms.

"I'm right here," he said gently. "It's gonna be okay. I love you." I nodded into his body. He curled over me and kissed the top of my head.

"What did I do?" I was starting to relax, feeling Levi's calm breathing.

"What do you mean?" he asked, lightly scratching my back.

"What did I do to deserve you? I'm such a piece of shit."

"What the fuck, Eren? You're literally the most perfect person I've ever fucking met. If anything, I don't deserve to have you after hurting you like that."

"Don't ever fucking say that again."

"That's my line," Levi said. I could feel him chuckling and it vibrated through my whole body. I pressed my lips to his stomach, wrapping my arms around his waist. I could feel a small shudder absorb his body. I noticed as my emptiness inside shifted to an acute need. I needed him. I needed everything. He seemed to notice my change in pace almost as soon as I did. "Baby, do you want something?" His voice was slightly deeper when he asked me that. I nodded. "What do you want, then, Love?"

"I-I want you. Now." I felt another shiver run though him. 

"Where should we go? People are in and out of this bathroom; we can't stay here."

"I don't know."

"Come on a walk with me," Levi said, pulling away from me and taking my hands. I missed the contact.

"Levi," I whispered. I didn't know how I had gotten so hot and bothered already.

"What did I do?" he asked.

"I don't even know. I guess it's been too long since we've been this close. And I don't want the last person to have touched me to be Trevor." I looked at him with pleading eyes, but his face was stoic except for his eyes. He was eyefucking me with a dark intensity. His pupils were enormous as I gently trailed my finger up his chest. He quietly cursed and took my hand away from his body. 

"I feel it, too, Eren. We need to get out of here." He unlocked the stall and we briskly walked outside of the mess hall.


	44. Chapter 43: I Need You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise the smut gets better in the second book <3 Thanks for reading this far, homies.

Just thinking about what was about to happen was enough to get the blood rushing to my dick. Levi pulled me into the Hawthorn lounge and slammed me into the wall. I gasped when he assaulted me with his lips. He kissed my mouth aggressively and slid his tongue into my mouth. I needed him so badly. I moaned quietly and sucked on his tongue. 

"What do you wanna do?" I asked between breaths as his hands traveled to the seam of my pants. 

"I wanna nail you to the fucking wall, but first I'm gonna give you something else." I gasped quietly, when he traced a finger up my growing erection. I felt the blood rush south as he led me to our old bedroom, not breaking the kiss. He tasted minty, but I wasn't focused on that. I was focused on the urgency in his movements; his need that nearly equaled mine was starting to take my breath away.

He pulled back to pull my shirt over my head, followed by his. He kissed me again, grinding the top of one of his thighs into my crotch. I sucked in a sharp breath at the friction and pressure on my dick. I was already getting hard. I felt like such a little bitch. His lips left my mouth and he started working his way down my neck. I felt butterflies fluttering around my insides as he gently bit my neck. He travelled down my body, kissing and biting until he was on his knees, kissing just above my pants.

"God, baby, you're hard already," Levi said, looking up at me and gently running his cool fingers above the seam of my pants. "Eager are we?"

"You seem to have that effect on people," I breathed, trying my hardest to smirk at him without showing him how much I needed him to keep going.

"Makes things easy," Levi chuckled, feigning a blase demeanor. It seemed like he was trying not to lose control. He unbuttoned my pants and pulled down the zipper, before pulling them down, along with my underwear. His eyes darkened as they focused on my boner, and before I could get any kind of thought thought through my mind, Levi dragged his tongue along the underside and took the tip into his mouth. I gasped at the feeling of his tongue and his mouth wrapped around me. He flicked the tip with his tongue and I felt weak as my back arched against the wall. I needed something to grab onto.

"Levi," I muttered, clenching my fists as he took more of me in. He slid his tongue against my dick and I shuddered. He took one of my hands, and ran it through his hair. I grasped at it and he let out a muffled moan that vibrated through my whole body. I couldn't hold back my moans as he kept working on me. 

"Levi!" I cried as I felt his lips touch the base of my dick. His throat was significantly tighter than his mouth, and the feeling of it squeezing around me was almost too much. He looked up at me and it was the hottest thing I'd ever seen. I raked my fingers through his hair, adjusting my grip on it, and he hummed softly. I could feel my stomach drop as his voice vibrated through me. He started bobbing up and down, finding a rhythm. I couldn't believe what it was doing to my body. I could feel my body heating up to insane temperatures as the pressure reached its peak. I wasn't sure how much longer I would last. "I'm close," I panted. "Fuck."

Immediately, Levi took his mouth off me and stood up. I shivered at the cold rush of air hitting my now exposed skin, but I was able to admire his body as he unzipped his pants. He stepped out of his pants and kissed me. The feeling of his chest against mine was heavenly, but then he stepped between my legs and the feeling of our erections touching was insane. He was almost as hard as I was; I wasn't confident in how long either or us would last going how we were. We were practically in heat with the obvious need both of us were experiencing. He sucked my bottom lip into his mouth and urgently lifted one of my legs, pinning me further to the wall. I hooked it around his waist. He put three fingers by my mouth.

"Get them ready for me, Love," Levi said, trying to keep his voice level. I took his fingers into my mouth, soaking each digit with my tongue. I pulled back and looked at the trail of saliva connecting my mouth to his fingers. I was satisfied. He kissed me again and slipped one of his fingers inside of me. I moaned as he probed deep inside of me with his long, slender finger. He added another and I started rocking on them as he scissored me. I didn't care that it hurt a little. He bit my lip to distract me, pulling me closer to him by my leg.

"Ha-ah," I breathed when he added the final finger. I rocked on his fingers moving inside me, fucking myself on his fingers. But soon, it wasn't enough. I needed something bigger. "Levi," I whined.

"Eren?" He whispered. "What?"

"I-I need more," I begged. "Please, Levi." 

"Please what?" He breathed into my neck.

"Stop teasing, Levi," I cried as his fingers brushed the edge of my prostate. "Levi!" He pulled his fingers out of me and started pushing his cock into me. I inhaled sharply and arched my back again against the wall. He pushed all the way into me and I almost screamed. He pulled my other leg up and I wrapped it around his waist as well. He panted and tipped his head back, gripping my thighs.

"You're tight like a fucking virgin, Eren,"Levi hissed. "Fuck!"

"You can move," I said. Before I finished my sentence, I was slammed into the wall by Levi's thrust. For whatever reason, I was especially sensitive to him this time. I felt like my whole body was a live wire. He kept pounding me into the wall, increasing the pace as he went. I felt my vision go blurry when his cock rubbed against my prostate.

"Ah! Right there, Levi!" I pleaded desperately. "Do that again!" He pulled out a little and angled his thrusts so that he was hitting it every time. I could feel him getting close as well.

"Fuck, Eren! I'm not gonna last very long," said Levi between heavy breaths.

I shook my head. "Me either." He continued his sloppy thrusts, repeating my name like a prayer. I could feel the surge about to hit. I was getting light headed and all of my nerves were going crazy. He slammed into me a couple more times before releasing inside of me. The feeling of him finishing caused me to reach my climax as well. I was almost to tears by the time Levi pulled out of me, gently setting me down again.

"You're so fucking perfect, Eren," Levi sighed, wiping everything down with a couple tissues and putting his clothes back on.

"No, you," I smiled, slipping my shirt back on.

"I missed you," he said.

"I'm gonna miss you." He nodded, not saying a word.


	45. Chapter 44: Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whenever I hear the word Promises, I think of Lady Gaga singing "I've got those Promises, Promises," in Poker Face. Wow, Jesus Christ, I'm really fucking gay aren't I?

It was hard to focus on anything for the rest of the day after that little bit with Levi. CJ and Reagan raised their eyebrows when we walked back in together. They knew better than to ask questions, apparently. Levi kept his distance, but I could tell that we were both waiting for the coming night with a painful anticipation.

But the rest of the day went slowly. I did all of my chores and phase work and lounged around, bored out of my mind, waiting for it to be time. I spent some time talking with Armin after lights out. He ranted for a while about the book he'd been reading, talking about how the author could have written the story much better if he would have taken flow into consideration even a little bit.

"Well, why don't you write a story, Armin?" I suggested. Armin's eyes got wide and he shook his head fervently.

"Oh God, no," he rejected. "I don't know the first thing about being an author. No, Eren, it isn't happening."

"Why not? You've read enough books to know how to write one. And you know what not to do as well. I don't see anything wrong with you writing something."

Armin was quiet for a long time, obviously thinking hard about the idea of writing something for a change.

"Maybe you're right," he finally mused.

"I know I'm right, Armin," I said smugly. "You don't need to tell me."

"Getting a little cocky aren't we?" Armin joked.

"You have no idea," I contemplated aloud, before smirking and winking at him. A rosy hue immediately dusted Armin's cheeks and he rolled his eyes. 

"TMI," he complained.

"Yeah, yeah," I mocked. "But seriously, you should try writing something."

"Would you read it?"

"Armin, I don't ever read, but if you wrote something, I'd have to read it. You're my best friend," I answered honestly. "Of course I'd read what you wrote."

Armin, nodded, deep in thought. "We'll see," he said finally. I realized it was getting late. I looked at the clock, which read ten forty-five. The overnight staff showed up at eleven. It was getting close. I was getting excited, which only made it take longer. Finally, after a small eternity, it was eleven and I watched the last daytime staff walk out the door. I waited another minute before creeping out of my bed and tiptoeing out of the room. I crept down the hall and quietly entered my old bedroom. Levi was sitting on my bare mattress. He had a small light that made the room slightly brighter.

"Levi," I said happily.

"Eren," Levi responded. "Come sit over here." He patted a spot on the bed next to him. I did as I was told, walking over and sitting down next to Levi.

"Hi," I said, pulling him into a quick embrace. "I'm gonna miss you," I said quieter.

"I know, Eren, I'm gonna miss you too," Levi whispered, pulling away from me. Even in the darkness, I saw his eyes gloss over. "Actually, I have something for you," he murmured.

"What is it?" I asked, suddenly curious.

"I want you to sit down." I nodded, and did as I was told, sitting cross-legged on the floor. Levi rolled his eyes. "Not there. Sit on the bed, Jaeger." I made my way over to the bed and sat on the edge.

"What are you planning?" I asked skeptically.

"Shut up and let me do this, okay?"

"Okay, jeez," I griped, raising my hands defensively.

"And before I say a word, I already know you're gonna take this the wrong way. This isn't what you think this is. I'll explain when this is all finished. Cuz, yeah," he said awkwardly. "I hate talking about my feelings and shit, so you're gonna have to deal with bad grammar and rambling."

"Okay," I said, contemplatively, trying my hardest to figure out what Levi was about to do.

"Eren. I love you; you know I love you. And I don't love anybody. Not even myself. So, yeah. I, uh," he put his hand to the back of his neck and took a deep breath before continuing. "I've been thinking. About when we first met, and how we couldn't stand each other for about nine months. We only started getting along when we were handcuffed to each other. Then everything broke inside of me. I couldn't believe what was happening to me. You were fucking up my mind, and screwing with my insides. I didn't know what to do. But I realized I had felt this feeling before. I had felt it all along. It wasn't just that you were cute, Eren. It was me wanting to keep you safe and happy. It was the realization that I would give my own life for you. That scared me to fucking death. That's why I started being a dick to you. That's when we drifted apart. It wasn't just that I wanted to have sex with you, though, I'll admit that was part of it." He took another deep breath before continuing.

"All I want now is for you to be happy, and I want to be there for you every step of the way. So. Yeah. I want you to have something. And before you freak out, cuz I know you're going to, give me a chance to explain."

"Okay," I said.

"I, uh, I need your hand," Levi said. I felt butterflies as I lifted up my hand and gave it to him. "Your other one." I gave him my other hand.

And then, he got down on one knee.

My stomach dropped.

"I said 'don't freak out.'" 

"I'm not," I lied.

"You act like I can't see your face, Jaeger." My heart was fluttering, and I couldn't think straight, in any sense of the word. "But anyway, moving on." He reached into his back pocket and opened a small box. Inside was an engraved ring.

"There isn't really any other way to take this, Levi," I hummed nervously. I wasn't sure what to think. In my heart, I knew, that whatever he was about to ask me, the answer was already yes.

"There is, but let me talk. I'm not proposing. We're fucking children, of course I'm not proposing. But, listen to me, Baby. This ring is a promise to you. On this ring is my family's crest. We all get one when we turn sixteen and we leave it on until we get married, when the ring is replaced by our wedding band. It means that no matter what, no matter how much we hate each other, we will band together if anybody needs anything. That's why I could ask Kenny to take care of Trevor. Because of this ring and the promise that goes with it. That is my promise to you. You're my family, and I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe and happy." I was starting to tear up. He pointed to the same ring on his finger. "I have one too. And there's a part two to this promise. I promise you, I swear on my fucking life, that I will come back for you. If it takes six months, fine. If it takes six years, fine. I'm coming back for you. I love you Eren Jaeger. And you don't have to take this ring if you think it's too forward-"

"No," I sniffed. "No I'm keeping this ring. And I'm gonna hold you to these promises."

"Can I put it on you?" He asked in a small voice, looking hopefully up at me.

"Yes! Of course!" I smiled. Levi took the ring out of the box and slid it onto my ring finger. It was heavy and well made. The engravings weren't a print, they were precise and handmade. There were small differences between my and Levi's rings that could only have been human error. When it was on, he looked up at me again and smiled, satisfied.

"A perfect fit. Petra was right about your ring size after seeing one damn picture of you. I'm impressed."

"Wait, Levi."

"Yeah?"

"Did you have this made for me?" I asked, incredulous.

"Yeah. We don't do pre-made ones. I had it made for you while I was home for the weekend." My eyes widened.

"Damn." I paused. The next thing I knew, I was crying again."Thank you, Levi. I love you."

"I love you more than the whole world, Eren Jaeger." Levi pulled me into a long, sweet kiss, before climbing into bed with me and wrapping his arms around me. "I'm gonna miss you," he whispered, his voice breaking. Levi buried his face in my neck and I started petting his soft hair. We were so comfortable with each other that sleep came fast, taking us both into a deep slumber. The part that melted my heart was that Levi fell asleep first.


	46. Chapter 45: Goodbyes

The next morning came all too soon. The overnight staff came in about fifteen minutes before it was time for them to leave.

"Eren, Levi, time to get up. The daytime staff'll be getting here any minute," Erwin said, leaning on the doorframe and folding his arms. Levi immediately shot up and scrambled out of bed, but I needed a minute coming to.

"Right," he answered. "Thanks, Erwin."

"Can you handle getting him up? I gotta finish doing the shift notes." Erwin asked.

"Yeah, I got him," Levi smirked. Erwin left the room and Levi turned to me. "Morning, sunshine," he murmured, gently pushing my hair out of my face.

"Mhm," I mumbled back. Levi got on his knees in front of me and softly kissed me. I sat up and kissed him back.

"Figured that'd get you up," Levi scoffed.

"Happy birthday," I said as I got out of bed. Levi stood and wrapped his arms around me. "It doesn't feel real." It was true. Levi's eighteenth birthday on Christmas didn't feel real. Him leaving didn't feel real.

"No shit," Levi snapped, his voice muffled by my shirt. His hands wandered up my back and found a resting spot gripping my shoulder blades, his face still buried in my chest. In an almost weak voice, Levi spoke again. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Levi," I whispered for fear of choking up, resting my chin on the top of Levi's head.

"Baby, I'm gonna miss you so fucking much."

"I'm gonna miss you too."

Levi abruptly pulled away from me. "But no more sad shit. I'm done crying about it."

"Wait. You cried?"

"Of fucking course I cried. Who the fuck do you think I am? But anyway, yeah I'm done crying about this. So, yeah. No. We- we need to, uh. Go. We need to go. And so yeah. I love you," Levi said, a faint rosy blush crossing his cheeks. He quickly kissed me before he sped out of our old room. I followed out of the room after him and stepped into my bedroom. I grabbed my clothes for the shower, where I quickly washed myself and got out again. 

I knew that Levi was just going to get his diploma and leave quietly without making a big fuss, so I didn't have a lot of time. I knew he'd already packed up all his stuff. I ran to his room and stood by his door, waiting for him to walk out for the last time. At this point, he was on his own, so the less time he wasted, the less money he wasted. It was that simple. He couldn't afford to stay.

He walked out of his bedroom with nothing but a backpack slung over one of his shoulders. I saw his ring on his finger and smiled to myself.

"Levi, Levi. What am I gonna do with you?"

"I'm thinking the better question here is what are you gonna do without me?"

I rolled my eyes at his snide remark. "Whatever." He reached up and took my face in one of his hands.

"Listen. I'm gonna come for you. This next little while is gonna be lonely for both of us. But we're gonna push through. You keep your pretty head up, and don't think about me too much. You'll start worrying and have a fucking stroke before I get the chance to see you again," he chuckled, but his stormy eyes were sad. The look in his eyes was too much. I felt a hot tear escape my eyes and begin to make its way down my face. Levi brushed it away with his thumb. "Lighten up, dumbass. It's not gonna be forever. You're still my boyfriend. Me leaving for a bit doesn't change that. And besides, it might not be as long as you're thinking," he said winking at me.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, rubbing my eyes and looking at him.

"Ya know I get lost in those damn eyes of yours, Jaeger," Levi muttered, like that was something that annoyed him. But then he stiffened up. "I'm leaving you to think on that. But I suck at goodbyes, so I'm gonna go now." He pulled away from me and flashed the cheesiest Hollywood grin at me. "See ya 'round, Jaeger." He started to walk away. I knew he was going to walk to the office and then be dropped off at the nearest airport. That was standard. I had a feeling he was going to get as far away from North Carolina as possible.

I watched him walk away with tears in my eyes. "Goodbye, Levi," I whispered as he stepped outside the dorms for the last time.


	47. Chapter 46:Lonely

I had no clue how I was going to handle being alone for the next few days. I got to call my mom for Christmas, and I spent the entire fifteen allotted minutes crying. Hearing her voice was hard, and hearing her voice talking about Levi was even harder. She spent our whole phone call trying to make me feel better. I tried to apologize for spending our Christmas call in tears.

"I'm so s-sorry, Mom," I bawled.

"For what, Sweetie?" My mom asked soothingly through the receiver. 

"For - for making this all about me. This is fucking Christmas. I s-shouldn't be crying. I should be happy when I talk to you," my throat was raw from crying all day and my eyes were sore, causing a splitting headache that I carried around with me.

"No. I was expecting this, you don't have to apologize. And besides, we haven't had Christmas yet."

"What do you mean?"

"We're waiting for our Christmas present to be air-mailed from North Carolina. Christmas can't happen until that gets here so," my mom said and I could hear her smirk in her voice. "Yeah we're not having Christmas until you get back."

"Preach!" I heard Mikasa yell from the background.

"Yeet or be yeeted dawg!" Sasha answered as well.

"Bible," Mikasa said in her best Kim Kardashian impression.

"Sorry, baby, we're having a Keeping Up with the Kardashians marathon. But seriously, it's totally normal for you to be a little torn up about this. I understand. I'm so sorry, Eren. But he did say he was coming back, so that's what you hold on to. Don't think about how sad you are. Be excited for the next time you see him. That's my advice. Just keep smiling. It won't go away, but it will get easier. And I'm gonna see you in four days. I don't think Mikasa or Maxxie will let you be sad for too long. And I certainly won't. 

"But I swear to God, Max knows you're coming back. He sits in your bedroom and wags his tail, like he's waiting for you to take him for a walk."

"Aww. He's a good dog," I managed to say with a somewhat level voice. Max was our five year old husky. "Not bragging, but I'm totally his favorite."

"Shut up!" Mikasa yelled from the couch.

"He knows you're a cat person, Mika!" I yelled back playfully, checking the time on the phone cradle. It was well past fifteen minutes. "Well, my time's up. I gotta go. See you in a few days, Mom."

"Alright, Honey. Merry Not-Christmas. Have a good rest of your day. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Mom. Bye," I said quietly before hanging up the phone and returning to my group. The lonliness hit again as soon as I hung up the phone. I sat at our table and I felt a pair of arms around me from behind.

"Merry Christmas, buddy!" CJ said, hugging me tighter.

"CJ!" Armin snapped. "I wouldn't if I were you."

"I don't care. Eren's getting non consensual hugs for Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, CJ," I mumbled. This was going to be a long four days.


	48. Chapter 47: Graduation

I spent the four days leading up to my graduation avoiding the thought of Levi by pushing myself into finishing the last of my phasework quickly but with good quality. I didn't talk to anybody or even leave my bedroom for the most part. I finished typing the last paragraph of my graduation speech and it was something I was truly proud of. It talked about the good times and the rough patches of going though such an intensive treatment program in such a short time. I looked at the checklist and was able to check off every box for my speech. 

It was a beautiful lie. Honestly, although I was externally better, internally, I was only more fucked up. All the therapy and neurofeedback sessions and medications only masked the symptoms, not the problems. I knew that I was going to struggle with alcoholism when I got back, because I would be exposed to it again. This school took the agency away, so that we couldn't choose wrong. It didn't give us the chance to say no. So, I was genuinely afraid.

But I didn't let the fear I was experiencing put a damper on my graduation day. I wanted everybody to think that I was happy. I had been bullshitting them that long. What was another few hours? I was totally packed up. All my things were in suitcases, except for my graduation clothing. It felt kind of surreal.

Graduations were standard, even if the student didn't finish high school. That wasn't what they were for. They were for the completion of the treatment program. They always happened the same way. There was a routine. The student would spend the school day finishing up packing and then go help set up. People went and got snacks and shit. So then, during lunch everybody would gather, and at exactly twelve thirty, the therapist would go up to give a speech. Then the parents. Then the student. Then there would be a slide show of the student. Just pictures people had taken of them over the time they had been there set to a couple of their favorite appropriate songs. I had picked a few songs for them the other day. Sunni, the dorm manager for Hawthorn had already made the slide show, which I wasn't allowed to see until everybody else did.

Sunni had also bought the snacks and decorations.

I was just waiting for the staff to bring me down to the auditorium and have me help set up. I was dressed in a white dress shirt and black slacks. I had a dark red tie on. I felt good when I looked in the mirror. I flashed my reflection a quick smile.

I organized my luggage in a way that Levi would have approved of. I hit 'print' on my graduation speech and sat on my empty bed, waiting.

Reagan came up to get me and I started to grab my suitcases.

"Nope. We put those in the car while you get the auditorium ready," he said, stopping me. He led me to the auditorium, where we put finishing touches on the decoration, and added the rest of the folding chairs to the rows. I filled the punch bowl and sliced the cake and put it on paper plates.

"You ready?" Sunni asked, looking into my eyes with her big brown ones. I nodded. "You clean up nice, Eren." 

"You too," I responded. Her long blonde hair was pulled into a soft braid. She was wearing a little makeup and a conservative brown and green dress.

"Everybody should start coming pretty soon. Go take a seat in the front row and I'll join you in a second."

"Okay," I said, walking towards the stage in the auditorium and sitting in a cold metal chair on the outside of the row, away from the aisle. I liked sitting against the wall. I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees and clasping my fingers together. I heard the doors open and the other students started swarming. I heard somebody sit next to me and out of the corner of my eye, I saw them extend their legs and cross their ankles.

"So when's this whole thing gonna start?" he asked casually. I snapped my head up at the familiar voice. There he was, leaning back in his chair, arms lazily folded behind his head. Levi.

"Oh my God. Oh my GOD! Levi!" He was wearing a white dress shirt, black slacks, and a long, slim black tie. He looked statuesque with his sleeves rolled up, exposing his ivory forearms, scars and all.

"Hi," Levi said. He narrowed his eyes sarcastically. "The security here sucks. I just fucking walked in."

"What are you doing here?" I asked. "I thought you were gonna leave the state!"

Levi nodded. "Well, I was going to. I still am. But I got to the airport and I couldn't bring myself to go to New York. So I stuck around Asheville for a while and scheduled a different flight to a different state. I fly out in about three hours."

"Where?" I asked. He was still looking straight ahead. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye and smirked. 

"California." I recoiled in disbelief at his words. I couldn't handle the butterflies. 

"You said California."

"Yeah, I did," Levi deadpanned. "You got an issue?"

"No! No, no issue. I just can't believe it! This is amazing!" I practically squealed, wrapping my arms around him. I couldn't contain my excitement. "Levi! How did you swing that? Where are you gonna stay?"

"Found an apartment to rent with a friend. She's always wanted to live in California."

"Are you serious?" 

Levi silently nodded. "Figured I'd come see your graduation before my flight out."

"My flight out is right after I graduate. What airline are you on? What time do you fly out? What airport are you flying to?" I couldn't control the questions as they tumbled out of my mouth.

"American. 3 o'clock. LAX."

"Levi."

"What?"

"We have the same flight."

"Are you fucking serious?" Levi exclaimed. It was his turn to be excited. "What are the fucking odds?"

"No idea." I said astonished. Sunni took a seat beside Levi.

"You're not supposed to be here," she whispered harshly at him. "That was made very clear. I don't have an issue with Eren, I have an issue with you. You're the bad influence here. But yeah, you're not supposed to be here."

"I'm not a student. I'm his boyfriend. I don't see a problem, here. I'm not here to make a scene. Let's remain civil for the hour or so I'm here, whaddya say?"

Sunni started to protest, but thought better of it. She shot Levi daggers with her eyes as he put his arm around me, pulling me close. It felt so nice to have him next to me. Sunni stood and walked to the podium.

"Thank you all for being here today to celebrate the graduation of one of our finest, Eren Jaeger. Because his parents and therapist are not here, I will be giving a speech along with CJ and Reagan. If there are no other comments, we'll get started. Eren, why don't you step up here?"

I did as I was told and stood beside Sunni. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a quick hug before starting her speech. It was brief and generic, talking about how much progress I had made and how excited she was to have me start the next chapter of my life and whatnot. Before I knew it, Reagan was hunched over the podium with CJ standing next to him. They had obviously coordinated their outfits. Reagan was in a black shirt with a white bow tie and pants, and CJ was wearing a white shirt with black slacks and a black bow tie. They both wore rainbow suspenders, and honestly it reminded me of Janis and Damian from Mean Girls. 

"As your set of self-appointed parents," CJ began. "It's only fair we're stand-in's for your actual parents. Reagan and I love you to the moon and back and we're here to tell you how fucking awesome you are, buddy." Sunni cringed at CJ's use of an expletive. But CJ and Reagan continued their speech, cracking jokes and poking fun, but also telling me how much they loved me and how it wasn't going to be the same without me there.

"In closing, Eren," Reagan said. "You're super awesome, and you've touched our hearts. You can handle anything the world throws at you, man. Congratulations." CJ and Reagan opened their arms and enveloped me in a tight group-hug. When they pulled back, Reagan pulled back and smirked. "Your turn, bro," he whispered.

"Yeah, beat that," CJ chuckled.

I approached the podium and started.

"Before I came to Asheville Boy's School, I was a wreck. I wasn't going to school, I was going out every night and getting drunk and high. I had no motivation in life," I started. I executed my speech beautifully and everybody was teary eyed by the end, except for me and Levi. I couldn't possibly cry knowing he was coming with me. When my speech was over, Sunni stood and handed me a framed certificate for completing their therapy program. We watched the cute slide show and ate snacks. 

"I'm gonna wait outside," Levi said. "Finish saying goodbye and come out. You'll see me." And with that, Levi went outside.

I jumped around, saying a final goodbye to Armin and Sean, as well as the rest of my dorm and the others.

Armin was in tears, but Sean was trying to be non-chalant, but was oddly affectionate. For Sean.

"I'm gonna miss you," Armin wept bitterly.

"Hey I'll be waiting for that book. I'll come to a signing or whatever, Arlert. And if you're ever in California, feel free to swing by."

"Okay," he said, wiping his eyes. "Sorry I'm such a baby. I know you have to go soon. Bye, Eren. Congrats."

"Thanks man," I said, pulling him into a hug. I found Sean.

"You dirty bastard," Sean snickered. His eyes were glossed over and his voice was hoarse. "I'll miss you. We live, like two hours apart. I'll come see you if I ever get outta here," he joked.

"Yeah yeah. We both know you're too lazy to actually make the drive."

"True, but people saying goodbye like to make promises they don't intend on keeping."

"Quite the cynic," I joked.

"Never hid that one from you," Sean smirked. "Now I'm gonna go before you start crying," he said before he sped off.

I chuckled a little bit and approached Sunni.

"Congratulations, Eren," she smiled warmly. "You really earned this."

"Thanks, Sunni. Who's taking me to the airport?"

"CJ and Reagan insisted. All your stuff is in Reagan's truck. Are you ready to go?" Sunni asked.

"Yeah," I said, smiling. 

"Okay," Sunni answered, leaving to go find CJ and Reagan. She returned with both of them. They were folding their arms and grinning ear to ear.

"Let's get you outta here, buddy," CJ said. We all walked out of the building together and Levi was standing, leaning against Reagan's black F-250.

"Yeah, I needed a ride to the airport, and Reagan had room," Levi said, the corners of his mouth turning down into a cute smirk.

"Come sit by me," I said, sliding into the back row and patting the seat next to me. Levi climbed in next to me and Reagan got in with CJ in shotgun.

"Everybody ready?" Reagan asked.

"Yep," I responded, while Levi gave him a silent thumbs up. 

"Alrighty," Reagan said, putting on some rap music with bass that rattled the windows. He pulled out of the parking lot and I took one last look at the place I called home for the past fifteen months. It was both my prison and my haven. I was away from the life I had before, but I was trapped there. Students weren't allowed to leave campus for any reason. Ever. Unless it was for a home visit.

"Hey, are you okay?" Levi asked, taking my hand.

"Yeah, just kinda being hit with the feels. A lotta shit happened here."

"True that. But if we hadn't been in the right place at the right time I never would have found you. And without you to argue with every day for the past year or so, I'm not sure I'd still be here."

"God," I muttered, not wanting to think about that. "Don't say that. I'm sure you would have found another reason." He shook his head.

"No. I was close. Real close. You saved me, Eren. I don't think you understand that." Levi smiled and gently kissed my cheek. His lips were soft. 

"Who's down for some Bojangle's?" CJ interrupted strategically. I couldn't say no to fast food after not eating it for so long.

"Fuck yeah," Levi answered for the both of us. Reagan made a very illegal lane change and swerved into the drive through.

"Jesus Christ, Reagan! You trying to kill us?" I exclaimed.

"No, but I don't know where the next Bojangle's is. So living versus Bojangle's. Tough choice, personally, but I don't know about you two.

"Very true," CJ consented. We ordered our food and continued making our way to the airport. It was diabetic heaven. I hadn't had anything this delicious in over a year. Levi looked excited too. I felt like a sad puppy on an ASPCA commercial looking at food for the first time.

We arrived at the airport and I said a quick teary goodbye to CJ and Reagan before getting into the security line with Levi. He snatched my hand.

"You're so fucking perfect, Love," he whispered, before kissing me softly.

"Levi, we're in public," I complained.

"Never thought you wouldn't be into PDA," he laughed. "But that girl behind us was eyefucking you and I wasn't okay. So I showed her you were taken."

"Oh, well, in that case," I smirked, slapping his ass. His grey eyes lit up and his eyebrows flicked up, as he started laughing and incredulous laugh.

"You're impossible, Eren Jaeger."

"Says you," I laughed. I felt only happiness being with Levi, and going home. I was excited about the future for the first time in a long time. I couldn't wait for it to unfold in front of me. And now, I had somebody to face it with me.


	49. Epilogue: 6 Months Later

"Oh my God, Levi!" I exclaimed, sitting with my legs up on the couch in his apartment. "You have to see this!"

"What is it now, Jaeger? I swear to God if it's another fucking cat video," Levi groaned satirically from the kitchen. He was doing dishes with his flatmate, and my new friend, Petra. She had her hair up in a pretty bun and she was shaking her ass to some pop music on Spotify while she was drying the plates. We had just finished dinner with her boyfriend Jamal, and she said this was his "meeting-the-parents-test." If we approved him, she'd keep dating him.

"You'll never guess who just messaged me."

"Do I wanna know?" Levi asked.

"Yes, you wanna know," I said, rolling my eyes and playing with the heavy engraved silver ring on my left ring finger.

"Who then, Eren?"

"Jean," I deadpanned.

"Get the fuck out. No fucking way," Levi said, handing Petra a plate and speed walking over to me. He leaned over the back of the couch and read over my shoulder. "Fuck, baby. Jean's okay. Thank fucking God."

"For real," I said. "Apparently he just got out of his latest hospital last week. He's finally home."

"Jesus," Levi muttered, kissing my temple from behind. "That's good. We should get him down here for the weekend or something. Doesn't he live in San Francisco or something?"

"Yeah. And, yeah, we totally have to. We all need to catch up." 

"Oh, and I think Mikasa's coming over with Sasha. She said something about horror movies and ice cream, but I swear to fucking God if she spills on my damn couch again I'm gonna beat her ass."

"Please don't. I like Mikasa," Petra called from the sink. 

"I wasn't asking for permission, Petra," Levi snickered.

"Yeah but if you beat Mikasa's ass, I'd have to beat yours," I responded.

"Yeah, punish me," Levi winked. I rolled my eyes.

"Sometimes, Ackerman," I sighed, taking his hand and somehow yanking him over the back of the couch and onto me without him falling onto the floor.

"Fucking hell, Eren. I saw my life flash before my eyes, you fucking idiot."

"Beach tomorrow?" I asked nonchalantly.

"Way to go, Babe, you unsuccessfully tried to change the subject. But yeah, the beach sounds great. I get to watch you and your sexy ass shirtless in a pair of swim trunks. There's no better day for me. Petra, you hearing this? Beach. Tomorrow."

"Can there be a bonfire?" She specified.

"Fuck yeah," Levi affirmed. The front door to the small apartment opened up and Mikasa and Sasha stormed in.

"Sup bitches?!" Sasha hollered, while Mikasa waved the DVD's in one hand and the ice cream in the other.

"Wait. Hold up. Is that Mint fucking Chip?!" Levi demanded.

"Uh, yeah," Mikasa answered quietly.

"Oh holy fuck that's my favorite," Levi replied. "Let's watch a fucking movie." I sat on the couch again, basically on top of Levi. Mikasa and Sasha took the other half of the couch and Petra took her spot squished in between us on the small couch. Mikasa pressed play on The Grudge. I took a spoon and scooped a bite of ice cream for Levi. He smiled smugly and took the spoon, licking the frozen heaven off of it. I thought about how much had changed around us, but how much had stayed the same between us. I was happy to be with him, but even better, I was happy to be happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you've reached the end of my story. Thanks a million for reading and joining me on the journey of writing something I'm fucking proud of. Eren and Levi are fucking perfect and I got to know them in a whole new way writing this. Now I'm not normally this fucking sappy, but you guys this was a wild ride writing this. I'm so happy you all made it to the end!!!  
> Much Love,  
> Vee


End file.
